Panel Biter Podcasts

Saturday, October 31, 2015

I'm Too Sexy For This Film

You know an interesting theory shot its way into my mind the other day, a theory-oddly enough-proposed by a co-worker. This theory was that the character She-Hulk would never appear in The Marvel Cinematic Universe because of her over-sexualization in the comics and how translating that to film would be risky. Interesting. Interesting to put in a post!
Characters like Wonder Woman and She-Hulk and Storm were designed to not only represent the female demographic, but to also represent femininity and the female body. Sure, most writers and artists may put in a scantily-clad scene in a comic for the drooling masses of male fans, but these scenes also make statements about the human body. To be fair, male characters are treaty the same. How many superheroes don't have abs or seductive facial hair or the type of personality that'd be labelled as "charming". Superman and Captain America represent men and their more attractive features just as much as my previous female examples. Thor, Hulk, Hercules and many other muscular characters scream male strength just by appearance, and its not like female and/or man-loving viewers of the Marvel films haven't gotten their fair share of eye candy. Star-Lord, Ant-Man, Thor, Cap, I'm pretty sure every main male character in these films has gotten a shirtless scene. In Mark Ruffulo's case, it's not always a peep-show. What about male and/or woman-loving viewers? Black Widow had a changing scene in the back of a car in "Iron Man 2", but mostly we've been shafted. Gamora almost had a topless scene, but it was only in the trailer for "Guardians of The Galaxy", and we do have characters like Scarlet Witch, Peggy Carter, The Wasp, and other females as part of this universe. Is it fair to say that if they haven't had "ohmygodsohot" moments yet, they still could? Or is that a matter of the studio not wanting to push the female sexualization in their films? In the past superhero flicks that limitation didn't seem as forced, the "Blade" trilogy, Fox's "Daredevil", Fox's "Fantastic Four", the first "Spider-Man" all played with the female sexualization concept, but now we see comic book films changing beyond that needed bit of wink-wink eye-candy.
So then what about characters like She-Hulk or Power Girl who's lore somewhat revolves around their beauty? Are they lost causes? Well first let me remind you that if we never see She-Hulk in a film, its because Universal Studios still has a weird co-ownership of the Hulk and his characters with Marvel Studios. Aside from that, She-Hulk could possibly co-star in a film, or be on Netflix, or on ABC, or even steal the lime-light from her cousin by getting a film trilogy. But the real question is: how would she look? Green hair and skin and muscles is one thing, but She-Hulk has been known to wear leotards and two-pieces, and right now we don't really have a lot of characters rocking that look. Olivia Munn will appear as Psylocke in "X-Men: Apocalypse" and her look is pretty spot-on with the leotard, so I can't really see the outfit being an issue. Maybe its just the sexualization people worry about. She-Hulk is a known swinger, she is known to dress-how should I say this-"foxy", and she is at heart a flirtatious character. We don't really have a character like that yet in the MCU, so it's a bold move. But you have to figure if Marvel is going to break down walls by making a film about a black superhero (Black Panther), a female superhero (Captain Marvel) and a teenage superhero (Spider-Man), what is really stopping them from doing a film about a manizer (the opposite of a womanizer)?
When you break it down, there is no reason not to use She-Hulk in the MCU. She's a well-known Marvel character, she has a lot of lore and personality, she's different from most characters, and she's one the forerunners of powerful, sexy, independent female superheroes. Her presence on screen wouldn't be offensive or dangerous, it'd be bold, inspired and refreshing to a world of viewers used to seeing heterosexual white men dress up as superheroes. And if there is one thing Marvel Studios does best, it's give us what we don't think we want and end up making us love it.
Thanks for reading!

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Friday, October 30, 2015

THIS is Batman

Please ignore Ben Affleck. Thank you. Now then, it's time for the newest Panel Pitch to hit the audio waves! What can a true Batman comic fan offer in a movie pitch? What adventures await everyone's favorite pointy-eared bastard!? Come listen in over at The Panel Biter Podbean!

Thursday, October 29, 2015

It's Your Friendly Farmland Spider-Ham

Spider-Man, Ultimate Spider-Man, Spider-Man 2099, Spider-Woman, Spider-Gwen, Spider-Spider-Spider-Spider! There are too many Spider-people in Marvel Comics! I suggest a Spider-Genocide! A "Spider-cide", if you you will. Wait, that's a character. But not today's character! Today's Z-Lister is one of the only Spider-folk I can bear to keep, The Spectacular Spider-Ham!
(And yes, his nostrils have lenses)
In 1983, writer Tom DeFalco wrote "Marvel Tails #1" starring Spider-Ham. As his epic origin tells us, Spider-Ham was originally a spider named Peter living in the basement of a scientist on an Earth populated by cartoon-like animals. This scientist was a pig named May Porker who was testing an atomic hairdryer, sure to revolutionize the haircare industry. Testing this hair dryer radiated May and caused her to become so delusional she bit Peter the spider. Peter the spider turned into Peter the pig and ran off to discover that even though the radiation turned him into a pig like May, he retained his spider abilities, mainly his strength, speed and wall clinging powers. He had also absorbed May Porker's intelligence which helped him create a costume and web-slingers, but by absorbing the smarts of a disoriented May Porker, the old scientist became senile and believed Peter was her niece. So, Peter became Peter Porker, the loving nephew of May Porker and when he wasn't at school or taking photos for The Daily Beagle, Peter Porker fought crime as The Amazing Spider-Ham! Conveniently, there is an alternate origin to the character that is pretty much the same as Spider-Man's origin.
In his adventures through "Marvel Tails" and "Peter Porker: The Spectacular Spider-Ham", Spider-Ham meets other animal characters like Captain Americat, Hulk-Bunny, Goose Rider, The Fantastic Fur, and Deerdevil. He fights villains like Doctor Octopussy Cat, Ducktor Doom, King-Pig, Hobgobbler, Raven The Hunter and many other enemies. He even fought Hogzilla, a pig version of Godzilla!
Spider-Ham accidentally warped into the universe of Marvel Zombies, than he was zombified, than he was shot and killed by Ultron, but than he became Ham-ibal Lecter. It was weird. A better universe jump was when he teamed up with Spider-Men from across the multiverse and fought soul vampires. Cooler in prospect. Spider-Ham is set to appear next to Spider-Gwen, Spider-Man UK and many others on The Web Warriors, spider-themed heroes from all over committed to protecting the multiverse. Again.
It should come as no surprise that I love Spider-Ham. He is ridiculous, he is a satire, he is simply an incredibly awesome idea for anything ever. I'm glad he's appearing in more comics and even in some cartoons and video games, Spider-Ham may be a bit bizarre, but similar to DC's Captain Carrot he seems like a character writers could really do some smart things with. It if were up to me, I'd set Spider-Ham up with a solo comic, based in an updated version of his animal-infested world. Along with fighting animal villains like before, he could meet actual human characters who have animal counterparts in the main Marvel Universe, like Howard the Human standing in for Howard the Duck or Rocky Racker standing in for Rocket Raccoon. And Groot could still be Groot, but have antlers like a moose. Oh, and Daredevil can be a blind mouse! I should stop before I get kidnapped by Dan Slott.
Thanks for reading!
Oh! And The Winter Soldier could be a kitty cat named The Litter Soldier!

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Wednesday, October 28, 2015

The Man of Steel Scrapes

For as much trash as I talk on Warner Bros/DC Comic's latest Superman film "Man of Steel" I can admit there were some things about this snorefest I actually liked. "Man of Steel" is kind of like a diamond covered in feces, its smelly and ugly and you don't to be near it, but you can see the shimmers of potential beauty. And neither a feces-covered diamond or "Man of Steel" are happy in any way. This is The Panel Biter's Top 5 Pros to Man of Steel.

5. The Mysterious Openings
Being it's own movie for three years, "Man of Steel" had a lot of openings for other stories afterwards and not using villains other than General Zod-who is pretty much evil Superman-meant more varied villains could be future threats. Genius and rich manipulator Lex Luthor, power-zapping monster Parasite, collecting tech-being Brainiac, even inter-dimensional beings like Bizarro and Mr. Mxyzptlk were possibilities. Superman has a lot of villains and supporting characters who could've made refreshing additions. Especially considering past Superman movies mostly stuck to Luthor and/or Zod. With so many interesting alien villains, the cosmic-themes of the film would have suited these new antagonists. Plus, no Kryptonite! A bold idea for a first film.

4. Superman's Look/Movements
The blue is too dark, the lack of underwear is obvious, but other than that I really like Superman's costume in this film. It has a good mix of classic design and otherworldly, mythological design. Henry Cavill was also a great actor to put in the role, he looks like a real-life version of the character. If he were given more direction-or the right direction-Cavill could have personified the big blue boy-scout perfectly, though we only got glimpses of the true Superman mentality. The first flight scene is what almost sold me on the film, it followed Superman's pattern and showed how his flying could break sound barriers, and hey, he actually smiled! Remember that tagline from the Donner/Reeves Superman films? "You'll believe a man can fly". That's what I think of when this Superman flies. The actual fight scenes between Superman and the other Kryptonians-destructive as they might be-are really great to watch to. It's pretty much how Superman-or any DBZ character-should fight in a film.

3. Planet Krypton
Only within the comics and the "Superman: Animated Series" has Superman's home planet Krypton been given history like this film. Though I'm really against the design work and the eugenics on this Krypton, I admit it isn't as vague as Donner/Reeve's version and the beginning story focus on Superman's birth father Jor-El is admirable to the character. Showing more of how Zod ties into the film, how the ecosystem of Krypton works, and hearing there history through shifting metal pictures on a crashed ship give the dead planet much more life. And though I'm partial to a lair of icebergs, the Kryptonian ship crashed on Earth acting as Superman's "Fortress of Solitude" isn't an awful take on the iconic lair of Superman.

2. The "S" Stands For Hope
Looking at it objectively, wearing the first letter of your name as a symbol is a bit odd. It's not like an initial or a football jacket, in fact there is no "S" in either of Superman's names! Clark Kent and Kal-El. The only reason it was ever there was because Clark came up with the name Superman because he could be a man who was "super". And what kind of symbol can you get from a word like "super"? It's not an animal or an object, it's just a word made of letters. How much of a tool would he look if he just had "Superman" written on his chest? The simple "S" symbol was given an actual reason for being there thanks to this film as "Man of Steel" reused the old idea of the "S" being a family crest on Krypton, but invented the idea of "S" being the Kryptonian symbol for "hope". Like, Kanji or something like that. Since Superman-as early as 1938-represented hope, it made total sense.

1. Superman Killing Zod
One of the most hated parts of "Man of Steel" is one of my favorites. Not because I'm a death-loving sociopath like The Savage Justin, but because I see this murder as more than just a reason to stamp out the bad guy with no complications. Everyone remembers the scene when Superman snaps Zod neck and kills him, but does anyone remember how before this Zod was going to kill citizens with heat vision? How about how Superman pleaded Zod not to make him kill him, or maybe how Superman screamed in anguish after killing Zod? You see, this had to happen to establish Superman's reluctance to kill, to solidify why this man with all the power in the world wouldn't just murder his problems. This film didn't do Superman's character justice, avoiding the fact that he doesn't like to put people at risk or cause property damage, but creating this instance of helplessness gives Superman a lesson, character development the character desperately needed in this film. Zod didn't die because they wanted Superman to seem hardcore, he died so people could see that Superman is just as mortal as anyone else, that killing is always an easy solution, but never an easy thing to live with. Plus, Reeve's Superman killed Zod and nobody said feces.
Thanks for reading!

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Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Smile!

"Batman: The Killing Joke" is one of the best known Batman stories out there, it's comical, dark and a psychological roller coaster. For your host's 21st Birthday, for our Halloween finale, Raffi and his crew of cohorts talk about Alan Moore's greatest Batman story! Come listen in at The Panel Biter Podbean!

Monday, October 26, 2015

Justice & Injustice

"Justice League: Tower of Babel"
To every black, there is white. An immortal tyrant has raised his generals, the world's greatest heroes are at threat. Men and women of corrupted power stand to wipe the heroes off the table, and the alliance between the heroes is challenged by a paranoid Dark Knight. Who will destroy the League first: Batman or The Legion of Doom? Only Vandal Savage will know, as he holds all the cards in his hands.
The outskirts of Kahndaq, three cloaked men walk the sands, these men are revealed to be the immortal Vandal Savage and his former-God assistant Apollo. They toss the third man into a ritualistic circle in the sand and conduct a spell that summons ashes around the desert into the man's body. The man is told to yell "Shazam" and becomes Black Adam. Vandal tells Black Adam he has been revived and sealed into the body of his descendent, and-as tradition-Black Adam owes Vandal a favor.
At the Vasquez House, Billy Batson is picked up by Metropolis reporter Lois Lane and walked into the back of a cab. The cab is actually a Martian-build ship that morphs into a jet and flies off. Lois turns out to be Martian Manhunter in disguise and offers Billy some cookies. The ship lands in The Watchtower and Billy is walked into the main hall where he meets Batman, Wonder Woman and Aquaman. Rushing in after Billy is Wally West, the former sidekick Kid Flash who took on The Flash mantle after Barry Allen became trapped in The Speed Force (a season-ender in my ideal Flash show). Billy and Wally are officially welcomed into The Justice League and the heroes share a meal, but Batman wanders out. Wonder Woman walks in on Batman replacing the energy units in his exoskeleton. He has to wear this Kord Industries exoskeleton to help support his recently reconstructed back and Batman really doesn't want to draw attention to it. The two of them are unsure about letting Billy and Wally on The JL because of their respective ages, but regard them as better choices than "the Beetle and that Gold guy".
Batman returns to Wayne Manor after the party and is told by Alfred of something awful: the bodies of Thomas and Martha Wayne have been taken from their graves. In the middle of the Louisiana swamps, the masked villain Bane searches for a beacon on a monitor. He is led to a large body of water where he meets the beastly villainess The Cheetah, the criminal outcast Captain Cold and the underwater predator Black Manta. They are welcomed into a large skull-shaped base in the lake, built from a portion of Brainiac's ship ("Panic In The Skies") and enter to meet Black Adam, Apollo and their orchestrator Vandal Savage. Savage then presents them a teleportation device copied from JL files and transports Mal'a'fa'ak (or Malefic) to Earth. Malefic is a martian maniac with no psychic powers who killed the entire Green Martian populous, not counting one. Vandal claims he seeks to wipe the Earth clean and start anew with himself as it's ruler. To do that, he needs the Justice League gone. Vandal explains he was born a neanderthal and slept next to a radioactive meteor. The rays accelerated his evolution and made him immortal, so Vandal lived throughout history as a philosopher, a pirate, a knight, a general, an artist, but most often, a conquerer. If he can destroy the JL and wipe out half the planet's population, he will give segments of Earth to the villains in return. He mentions that it is because of The Flash that Captain Cold and other Flash villains have their consequential superpowers (again, Flash show stuff), and how Malefic lived in seclusion for generations believing he had killed his people and unaware of Martian Manhunter's survival. When asked how this "Legion of Doom" would kill the JL, Vandal answers "from the inside out".
New York City, Martian Manhunter-under his human disguise John Jones-enjoys a night out with his cop buddies, but has to leave as it his turn to watch the Watchtower monitors on the JL's space base. He enters the Watchtower, unaware of a small rat sneaking on board with him. Captain Cold stages a robbery in Keystone City and is met by Wally/The Flash. When he tries to fight Cold, Flash is tricked into having a device implanted into his wrist. Cold claims it's a bomb that will explode if Flash doesn't keep a consistent speed. Wonder Woman is lured into a fight with The Cheetah. From a grassy nolle, Apollo uses a magic bullet to knock Diana out, when she comes to she is tied to an anchor of a boat and dropped into the ocean by Cheetah. She tries to break out, but she is tied with her own unbreakable Lasso of Truth. Aquaman fights Black Manta in his throne room, but Manta seemingly vanishes. When Aquaman picks up his trident off the floor he begins to see aquatic monsters all over Atlantis and he attempts to fight them. Shazam flies home after a day of crime fighting to find Black Adam holding his foster family hostage. Adam forces Shazam into becoming Billy again and then attaches a device onto Billy's neck. If Billy yells "Shazam" it will explode. Adam then lifts Billy high into the air and drops him. After a long search, Batman finds the bodies of the Wayne's in their original graves behind Wayne Manor. Panicked and confused, Batman hurries back inside and he finds Alfred tied up in the Batcave. Bane sits before the Bat-Computer and uses a hacking device to malfunction Batman's exoskeleton. On the Watchtower, the little rat sneaks a serum into Martian Manhunter's drink and the rat is revealed to Malefic. Distracted by rage, Martian Manhunter doesn't realize the formula snuck into him turns his sweat into air-triggered lighter fluid. Martian Manhunter is engulfed in flames and locked in a prison bay by Malefic. Malefic leaves a briefcase in the Watchtower as Bane leaves one in The Batcave.
Batman wakes up buried underground next to his parent's corpses with no utility belt. Batman ignores the psychological damage and contacts Alfred, who is locked in the cave with a bomb set for fifteen minutes. Batman remembers Billy's calls over communicator and tells Flash to catch him. Billy is a few stories from the Fawcett City pavement when Flash zips over a roof to catch and drop off Billy safely. Putting the pieces together, Batman has to instruct the JL while buried. Batman begins punching his way out of the casket while telling Aquaman to stop fighting, doing this allows Queen Mera to take the fake trident away and reveal the planted trident made Aquaman see innocent Atlantean's as monsters. Aquaman is then ordered to swim after Wonder Woman to save her from drowning. Billy is told that the device on his neck activates from his voice, so Billy breaks into a toy store and uses a voice modulator toy to say "Shazam", slipping by the bomb's activation and turning him into Shazam, he rips the bomb off and flies away. The Flash is told to vibrate himself through an iceburg, something he's never done. But Batman-between bloody punches-gives Wally motivation and he successfully runs through an iceberg which dislodges the wrist bomb. Shazam flies into space to save Martian Manhunter as Batman breaks through the casket and crawls through dirt. Shazam shows up in the Watchtower and-using the wisdom of Solomon-brings the fiery MM out into space, the lack of oxygen stops MM's burning and the two fly off just as the bomb destroys The Watchtower. Batman-tired and weak-manages to get Alfred out his binds, Alfred carries Batman out of the cave, takes one look back and leaves as the bomb destroys Wayne Manor and caves in The Batcave.
At the Legion of Doom base, the villains celebrate their victory and Vandal explains he will be using a magically empowered magnet to draw a passing comet towards Earth. The resulting explosion will take out half the planet's people and their base can survive the blast. In humanities weakness, Vandal and The Legion of Doom will take over. Meanwhile, the JL regroup at Mount Justice, a reserve base for The League that Superman hollowed out back in the day. The League is healing after the full-scale attack and wonders how their enemies could be so coordinated, Batman claims they must have a ringleader and uses Wayne Satellite surveillance to spot Vandal Savage reviving Black Adam earlier. Wonder Woman and The Flash both recognize Vandal, but still wonder how the villains planned this all out. Batman reveals it was his doing. Since Brainiac's invasion, Batman has studied every Justice League member and cataloged their weaknesses, physically, mentally and emotionally. He then devised plans to kill each Leaguer if they should ever abuse their power or lose control of themselves. Vandal Savage must have stolen Batman's Contingency Plans. With the help of Apollo, Vandal accessed almost unbreakable files and got his hands on dangerous technology. The Leaguers become enraged by Batman's betrayal, more so when they learn he had a plan for Superman too. Surprisingly, the heroes attack Batman and he runs throughout the base trying to avoid his friends. Weakened from his fights, Batman hides and contacts Oracle/Barbara Gordon. Oracle tells Batman that someone has snuck pods of Scarecrow's modified "Fear Toxin" into the base, modified samples that trigger anger instead of fear. While Oracle works on a chemical formula to de-funk the gas, Batman uses his clever mind to trick the Leaguers into fighting each other.
Oracle sends the chemical mix to Batman and he creates vaccines to apply to his League members. He notes how extreme work must have gone into that modified batch for it to effect a Speedster, a Demigod, an Atlantean, a magical being, and a Martian. The League put Batman's loyalty on the back-burner to plan an assault on The Legion of Doom. They find and break into The Legion's base, but are expected. Vandal set up the Anger Toxin as a backup plan, but also accounted for if the League resisted the urge to kill each other. So the big fight commences: Batman vs Bane, Wonder Woman vs Cheetah, Aquaman vs Black Manta, Flash vs Captain Cold, Shazam vs Black Adam, and Martian Manhunter vs Malefic. While Vandal and Apollo tend to the magic magnet, the Leaguers struggle to win. Batman gets an idea and tells Martian Manhunter to link their minds together. By focusing the Wisdom of Solomon, Shazam is able to figure out what each Leaguer must do to defeat their opponents. Batman uses the darkness of the cargo room to hit several weak-points on Bane. When Bane catches Batman, he is left immobilized as Batman planted taser-patches all over Bane's nerves. Wonder Woman breaks a steam pipe to disorient the savage Cheetah, then tie her limbs together with the lasso. Martian Manhunter pushes his powers to the limit by shapeshifting into a council of Martian elders to judge Malefic and use his guilt to throw him off. The Flash lures Captain Cold into a room, moving slower because of Cold's powers. Flash takes an oil drum in the room and runs a path of it. He then used his intense speed to light the oil on fire, dimming Cold's powers. Aquaman gets close on Black Manta, teasing him on how he needed Vandal's help to defeat him and it didn't even work. Enraged, Black Manta doesn't notice Aquaman's water-structure hand flowing through the mask of his armor and paralyzing him with electrical bursts. Shazam fights Black Adam to a standstill, but is able to convince Adam that his favor is done and if Vandal wins, Kahndaq will not belong to Adam. Black Adam flies off, wishing the League luck.
The magic magnet is activated and monitors show the comet drifting towards Earth. Batman gets to Vandal Savage first and they fight it out. The League show just in time to hear Vandal admit the Legion base won't survive the comet and that it will actually act as a type of seismic bolt to extent the blast over the Earth, wiping out all of humanity. Vandal has a society of hostages hidden under the base and because he is immortal he will simply come back from the blow and use his hostages to start a new society under his rule. Wonder Woman takes him down and uses the Lasso to find out how to stop the magnet, Vandal is compelled to tell her the activation is irreversible. The only way to stop it would be to move the magnet. Batman-with the League's last amount of trust-calls the game plan: The Flash will quickly evacuate the defeated villains and the hostages out of the base, Wonder Woman, Shazam and Martian Manhunter will lift the entire base into orbit, Aquaman will hold Vandal under the swampy water to drown him without killing him. Batman increases the magnet's power so the comet follows the base deep into space. Martian Manhunter reaches inside and grabs Batman. As Wonder Woman and Shazam fly away, the comet hits the Legion base and explodes in the depth of space.
Vandal Savage, Bane, Cheetah, Malefic, Captain Cold, Apollo and Black Manta are locked up by the government organization Argus, but Black Adam is nowhere to be found. Alfred sets up home in The Wayne Industries Penthouse and Aquaman returns to a scared and confused Atlantis. Batman, Wonder Woman, Flash, Shazam and Martian Manhunter sit down in Mount Justice to discuss Batman's actions. Aquaman sends a hologram message confirming his leaving of The Justice League to tend to his kingdom. He also gives his vote for Batman to be kicked of the JL. Before the rest of the League votes, Flash thinks Batman should have a chance to defend his actions. Batman does not regret or apologize for his actions, his betrayal of the JL was absolutely necessary to assure the planet's protection. He claims Superman did not know of these plans and that The Atom's predictions ("Olympus of Heroes") were correct in assuming Batman would play a part in the League's downfall. That's why Batman created failsafes in private after Atom's predictions just to make sure he had control over the situation. Non-apologetic, Batman claims if The League can't see the danger of their power, he doesn't belong with them. Batman then quits The Justice League. After he is gone, Martian Manhunter announces his leaving too, as the breach of trust has made him unsure of his allies.
In the wake of the League breaking up, Wonder Woman meets with Batman in his in-repair Batcave. They pull together a list of canidates for a new Justice League. Though Wonder Woman is in disgust with Batman, she owes it to Superman to go through with this new roster plan. Wonder Woman welcomes The New Justice League into Mount Justice: Herself (Wonder Woman), The Flash (Wally West), Shazam, Mr. Terrific, Green Arrow, Black Canary, Booster Gold, Blue Beetle, Firestorm, Vixen and The Atom (Ryan Choi). Now together, Wonder Woman leads this new League to protect the planet.
After the credits, several shadowy figures meet in a board room and discuss a satellite to "protect the unpowered", these shadows offer amounts of money to fund the plan and the leading shadow comes up with the name "Brother Eye". This leading shadow is revealed to be Bruce Wayne.
Thank you for reading.
The PBDC will return after another one week break!

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Saturday, October 24, 2015

Teen Tita-Oh, This Sucks

I'm sorry. I am so, so, so sorry. I never wanted this to happen, I never wanted the current Teen Titans book to be just as infuriating as the current cartoon, but I have no control over these things. Today on "Current Issues" I talk about the ill-fated Teen Titans book from DC Comics.
Writer: Will Pfeifer
Artist: Kenneth Rocafort

Even before their cartoon-one of my personal favorite cartoons-The Teen Titans were one of DC Comic's greatest superhero teams. If you didn't like The Justice League this is where you went. A team comprised of sidekicks, the first Teen Titans were made up of Robin (Dick Grayson, later Nightwing, first sidekick in comic book history), Aqualad (Garth, apprentice of Aquaman), Wonder Girl (Donna Troy, adopted sister of Wonder Woman), Speedy (Roy Harper, later Red Arrow, much later Arsenal, notorious one-time junkie, ward to Green Arrow) and Kid Flash (Wally West, The Flash's nephew and the third Flash in history) in 1964. The next lineup-and the one people know best-was the 1980 "New Teen Titans" featuring retuning characters Robin/Nightwing, Wonder Girl, and Kid Flash, with new characters like Beast Boy (Garfield Logan, animal-shapeshifter), Raven (Rachel Roth, daughter of a demon named Trigon), Starfire (Princess of planet Tamaran), and Cyborg (Victor Stone, half-machine crime fighter). These and many on-and-off characters were written beautifully by Marv Wolfman, who established this team as comic's first "soap opera super-team". As time went on The Titans went through many revisions, Young Justice featured 90's-to-early 2000's characters like Superboy, Robin/Tim Drake, Wonder Girl/Cassandra Sandsmark, and Impulse, The Team Titans featured older Teen Titans like Nightwing, Flash/Wally West, and Tempest/Garth, finally leading to another incarnation of The Teen Titans featuring Blue Beetle/Jamie Reyes, Ms. Martian, Static Shock, and Supergirl. Before 2011, The Teen Titans were no longer just about young heroes dealing with personal problems, the Teen Titans were about family and legacy. And then in 2011 DC Comics rebooted.
I didn't read The Teen Titans when The New 52 started, but I know it was bad. Scott Lobdell struggles to write actual "character" in characters and his representation of these young heroes fell far too far from good. Characters including Red Robin/Tim Drake, Superboy, Bart Allen/Kid Flash, Cass Sandsmark/Wonder Girl and new characters Bunker and Skitter where given rare shines of personality, the stories themselves just didn't fit the team, and the worst thing about The New 52's Teen Titans is that "they were the first". There was no team before them as of the New 52. No classic team of Robin, Starfire, Cyborg, Beast Boy and Raven, no passing of the torch between the young and grown heroes, just a bunch of moody teens trying to fight stupid villains. Without the legacy factor the team was just unappealing to me, but I decided when DC announced a new Teen Titans book I'd give it a chance.
And now we get to this book. Red Robin, Wonder Girl, Raven, Bunker and Beast Boy. By the way, Beast Boy had red fur when The New 52 started, because they wanted to tie the character into Animal Man, another animal-related character who had a connection to a mystical force between all blood-sharing creatures called "The Red". But now he's green again for no reason outside of "people complained". Pfeifer seems to press the ego of this team, and even use the tropes of teenagers as a way of making them more relatable, this fails more than it helps. The Teen Titans are on Twitter, Wonder Girl has legions of fan-one of which looks like Bumblebee, but is actually the new Power Girl and is pretty much Wonder Girl so what's the point-Bunker is highly critical towards haters because he is homosexual and he thinks all the criticizing has to do with that. The Teen Titans become backed by Cadmus, a super-lab corporation ran by Manchester Black. In the Pre-New 52, Manchester Black was a British telepath who fought Superman. How could they possibly screw the character up? They make him claim to be an ally, but ever so obviously be a villain, then they have him coerce Wonder Girl and Power Girl into joining his newer, better, sexier teen team called The Elite. And they point out that Wonder Girl is seventeen and Manchester is nineteen which immediately made my skin crawl over the idea of them writing Wonder Girl into a relationship with this punk-rock slime. The Elite, by the way, are made up of Guardian (nobody cares), Klarion (had his book cancelled after four issues), Trinity (an Indigo Lantern, so mysterious), and Kid Flash (who is angry at The Teen Titans for something nobody reading this book knows about). In the most recent issue, Red Robin and his Titans are fighting Wonder Girl and The Elite over the fate of Superboy, who has apparently killed several civilians and picked up an orange alien chick named Chimera. When Red Robin tries to pull The Titans together as a family to save Superboy, Superboy is nowhere to be seen in the issue and Chimera-who has been on the team for half a day-is all like "Yeah guys, we're Titans! We're a family". It's all just infighting and angst and not what people want out of a Teen Titans book.
I know the older series was all about personal problems mixed with superhero adventures, but the problems of modern teens are not all about angst and rebellion and I feel that is often the problem for people writing teenage characters. If you're going to take things slow for the characters sake, make them interesting beyond "I don't like this" or "I want that". The idea of The Teen Titans being celebrities isn't awful, I could even see a version of the team being like MTV reality show heroes as a fun alternate take, but it is only briefly touched upon and squandered in concept. Characters just don't act the way they should. Example: So Superboy "kills" some civilians and the question of his alignment is in check, Red Robin-the smartest teenager on Earth and used to being on a team-tries to help clear his friend's name. That works. But Wonder Girl-who was not only a founding Titan along with Red Robin and Superboy in this version of the team-also happened to have a romantic relationship with Superboy, and she's the one trading sides and trying to catch the guy. Logically, shouldn't this be reversed? Red Robin is a tactical thinker, logical, he'd be just as quick to question Superboy as Batman would be quick to question Superman in the same situation. And Wonder Girl had a relationship with Superboy, broken up or not she isn't heartless. And by the way, this story started maybe a month or two ago and it is still going. Is there no interesting idea for a plot besides "corporate mystery and interfamily fights" rolling in these writer's heads? Oh, the art is really nice too.
I wanted to like this book. I wanted to believe this would be a second coming, a redemption, not a rip-off of the cartoon but special in its own way. But like everything with The Teen Titans, it's never the same thing twice. As much as older readers may love Marv Wolfman's run, we won't be having that soon, as much as younger viewers may love the cartoon, we won't be having that either (screw you "Teen Titans Go") and the best-the very best-hope we have for The Teen Titans is in the upcoming book "Titans Hunt" featuring older Titans like Dick Grayson, Donna Troy and Aqualad. Maybe this new book will reinvigorate the team and push DC to make better decisions in how they present one of their greatest superhero teams.
Thank you for reading.

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Friday, October 23, 2015

X-Perimental Television

Teenagers, high school, lame tests and dumb bullies. What more could four man-children ask for? How about superpowered mutants, obscene language, mild nudity and a dream-cruising SNL character!? We watch the failed Generation X pilot! Come listen in at The Panel Biter Podbean!

Thursday, October 22, 2015

The Looney Lieutenants of Captain Marvel!

Before he became DC Comic's Shazam, Fawcett Comic's Captain Marvel had a plethora of family members who aided him is fight against evil. Mary Marvel, Captain Marvel Junior, Uncle Marvel and Marvel Bunny to name a few. But if you think they're obscure, then you haven't met The Lieutenant Marvels! Our Z-Listers for this week!
(In left-to-right: Captain Marvel, Hill Marvel, Fat Marvel & Tall Marvel)

Created by C.C. Beck in 1941's "Whiz Comics #21", these three boys first appeared as Billy Batsons from around America. These three boys were all named Billy Batson and when each of them heard on Billy Batson in Facwett City was on the radio, they all decided to find him and form "The Billy Batson Club". To avoid confusion from the main Billy, the three chose nicknames: Billy from Western America was called "Tall Billy", the Billy from the South was "Hill Billy" and Brooklyn's Billy was known as "Fat Billy". Ouch. Also, these three Billys were physically inspired by writers over at Fawcett Comics: Tall Billy was modeled after Paul Peck, Hill Billy was modeled after Ed Hamilton, and Fat Billy was modeled after Frank Taggart. Again, ouch. When these four Billys started hanging out, the main Billy revealed to them that he was Captain Marvel. Billy's foe Doctor Sivana sends three henchmen to kidnap the three Billys and lure the main Billy out. Captain Death grabs Tall Billy, Nazi Agent Herr Geyer grabs Fat Billy and Biggy Brix grabs Hill Billy and they are held hostage at a saw mill. Sivana forces the main Billy to show up unpowered, then knocks Billy out and ties him to the mill's saw. Sivana and his goons-like all 40's villains-laughs nefariously and leaves, as all the Billy's are slowly drawn to their doom. Billy manages to get his mouth-tie off and yell "Shazam" but it wasn't loud enough. So all four Billys make the call at once and the three other Billy's transform with Captain Marvel. Tall Marvel, Hill Marvel and Fat Marvel become The Lieutenant Marvels and help Captain Marvel defeat Sivana!
These three would appear once and a while to help Captain Marvel, but in the long run didn't fully transition over to DC Comics like the other Marvels. It was a weird idea, but these characters represent the true unpredictability of Captain Marvels early adventures. They were goofy, fun and they made readers smile and wonder if one day they might be a Marvel too. And in a more innocent time, without the media looming over comic book fans, that's all comic had to be: Goofy, fun and good enough to make you smile.
Thanks for reading.

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Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Flash Mob

DC Comics is known to have their legacy characters, one of the most prominent being The Flash. Thanks to his current-and very entertaining-television show, we're starting to see more versions of The Scarlet Speedster on the small screen. While I won't explain every Flash ever, I will explain the mainstream men to take on the mantle!

Jay Garrick (Created 1940)
Created by Gardner Fox and Harry Lampert, Jay Garrick was a football player turned scientist who went out for a smoke break during a lab experiment, the resulting experiment produced hard water vapors that knocked Jay unconscious. When he woke up, Jay found out the chemicals and water vapors gave him super speed. In later retellings, it is implied the vapor simply activated a latent metagene in Jay. Metagenes and Metahumans are DC's equivalent to Marvel's X-Genes and Mutants. Donning a simple costume and his father's World War I helmet to mimic the Roman God Mercury, Jay Garrick fought crime in New York City (later Keystone City) as The Flash! When Jay's successor Barry Allen was created sixteen years later, it was established that Jay was from another world called Earth 2, where his and other heroes adventures were cataloged as comic books in Barry's world, Earth 1. Jay and Barry were the first characters in DC Comics to cross over from different Earths and were the cause of the many multiversal changes in DC Comics known as "Crisis". Later revisions inserted Jay into the main Earth and he became one of many elderly superheroes to continue fighting the good fight with Flashes and Societies alike.

Barry Allen (Created 1956)
Robert Kanigher and Carmine Infantino were tasked by DC Comics in 1956 to revision one of DC's older superheroes, The Flash. By making the costume brighter and expanding on the lore with a new character, the men created one of the best known heroes of the decades, Barry Allen, The Flash. Barry was a forensic scientist for the Central City police department who was one night struck by a bolt of lighting and exposed to some miscellaneous chemicals which endowed him the power of super speed. Not only did the speed effect his running, but Barry could read, think, heal and talk faster. He could vibrate his body and phase through walls, throw bolts of self-conducted lightning and travel through time itself. As The Flash, Barry became a founding member of The Justice League of America and in the 80's would give his life to save the multiverse. Of course, he returned to life in 2009. Barry Allen is the current and most well-known Flash, being on TV and all. He was also the first Flash to truly give depth to The Speed Force-the dimensional force that gives speedsters their powers.

Wally West (Created 1959, Served as Flash in 1986)
Created by John Broome and Carmine Infantino, Wally West was the nephew of Iris West and by relation the nephew of Barry Allen. During a visit at his uncle's lab, Wally was given similar powers as Barry setup the chemicals in such a way that he could explain how he got his powers, but didn't expect a bolt of lightning to strike again. Wally decided to become Barry's sidekick Kid Flash, first donning a suit identical to Barry's, but later donning a more yellow costume with more personality. Wally West as Kid Flash was a founding member of The Teen Titans and soon contracted a disease that made him age faster the longer he used his powers. A fight with The Anti-Monitor (don't ask, he's dumb) ended the disease and Wally was left a twenty-something year old man just in time to take up The Flash mantle in honor of his dead uncle. For many years Wally West was the Flash, taking a spot on both the matured Team Titans and the Justice League. Though not as powerful as fellow Flashes, Wally is known to have set up stables in Flash's lore, mainly his sense of humor, youthful hope and the concept of having to eat large quantities of food to balance the carbs of running super fast. You might remember Wally/Flash best from his appearance on the "Justice League Animated Series".

Bart Allen (Created 1994, Served as Flash in 2006)
Finally, we have Bart Allen created by Mark Waid and Mike Wieringo. Bart Allen was born in the year 2993-the future, of course-and because of his grandfather Barry Allen's powers being hereditary, Bart aged ten years faster. This meant that while he was alive for say, two years, he would have the body and maturity of a twelve year old. He was raised in virtual reality for the early part of his life so that his distorted age could be nurtured without danger, but his grandmother Iris West Allen believed it wouldn't help the young boy, so she sent Bart back in time to meet his distant relative Wally West (I didn't know if Wally counted as an uncle or a cousin). With Wally/Flash's help, Bart was cured of his accelerated aging and got his first codename from Batman of all people, as Batman referred to Bart as "an Impulse". Not well-accustomed to danger, Bart was a wild sidekick for Wally/Flash, and later got his own solo book and was on Young Justice and The Teen Titans. Bart's powers seem to be the strongest of the speedsters next to his grandfather, with Bart's most impressive trick being able to go a few seconds into the future and pluck himself from that time into the present, essentially making time travel clones. The death of one of these clones led Bart to question his own morality and quit being Impulse, but he would later return to The Teen Titans as the new and rejuvenated Kid Flash. In order to defeat an evil version of Superboy, Bart and Jay had to travel into the Speed Force for a few days, only to reemerge aged by many years. In the Speed Force, many years passed by and Bart found himself in his mid-twenties. He refused to become The Flash at first, but with Barry and Wally missing and Jay getting too old, Bart was pressured into becoming the next Flash. In order to save the entire West Coast of the country, Bart/Flash fought a group of villains without his powers until he was murdered.

Confusing as the legacy may be, The Flash remains a character who is-coincidently-always moving forward. As a design, as a concept, as a character, as a power. The focus on speed itself very much impresses me as writers always find new ways to make one power seem like a thousand. The lore involved with time travel, alternate dimensions and age changes are always a concept best fit for a character like The Flash and I have every confidence the future of his comics and the future of his show do wonders for not just one Crimson Comet, but all of them!
Thank you for reading!

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Tuesday, October 20, 2015

The Buried Story of Spider-Man

Yeah, we're doing this story. Spider-Man's more awkward lore comes out in this new Comic Buffet Podcast, swing on by and join the what-the-hell moments! Come listen in at The Panel Biter Podbean!

Monday, October 19, 2015

Nth Metal Might

"Hawkgirl"
Shayera is a lost soldier. Hero on Earth, deserter from Thanagar, Shayera/Hawkgirl ventures back to her home planet in the middle of a war between two planets. Her former allies have either turned her away or turned her into a weapon, and with John Stewart-The Green Lantern of Earth-as all she has to help her fight back her warrior urges. Armies destroyed, worlds at threat, and in the middle of it all is a shifting shadow, a bird of prey, a shining light, and Hawkgirl the lost soldier.
Shayera and John Stewart prepare to leave on a spaceship to Thanagar as Batman, Wonder Woman, The Flash, Martian Manhunter and Aquaman bid them farewell. Flash even stocking the ship with food and giving them both hugs before they set out. The trip is long and when Shayera sleeps she recalls the years before her kidnapping by Brainiac. Shayera was a soldier of Thanagar, taught to use her large wings in unison with Thanagar's ancient Nth Metal, which could negate the effects of gravity. She was taught combat-armed and unarmed-alongside her loyal friends Katar Hol and Hath Set. She remembers falling in love with Katar, promising to marry him, and being abducted by Brainiac.
The sight of the villain shocks Shayera awake as she and GL arrive on planet Thanagar. In the main war hall, Katar is explaining the next plan of attack on Planet Rann, but the meeting is interrupted by Shayera and John. Katar is astounded his love is still alive, but for some reason always knew she'd return. He and John butt heads, but Shayera privately convinces her partner/lover John to investigate Rann while she gains Katar's trust. He agrees and flies off to Rann. Hath Set witnesses all this from afar.
As Katar and Shayera explore Thanagar's main city, Shayera finds many of her own people to look upon her shame. Katar explains that after her disappearance, Shayera was labeled a dissenter. When Shayera questions why Katar held hope, he takes her to a temple in the deserts on Thanagar. There Shayera meets an elderly man named Carter Hall. Carter is a human who explains that two Thanagarians visited Earth a millennia ago and inspired the ancient Egyptian mythologies. These two were Pharaohs who were killed by a loyal follower, but were forever promised to reunite in their reincarnations. After Shayera went missing, Katar had travelled to Earth to research these two Thanagarians and was pleased to find out he and Shayera were truly the reincarnations of them. Katar found Carter Hall-who had spend half his life researching these legends-and promised him safe living on Thanagar in return for his knowledge. So, Carter Hall was brought to Thanagar as a type of elderly advisor to Katar, who had new responsibilities and command as the years went on.
Hath Set sits in his secret armory, listening to this conversation through a bug he placed on Katar. Hath grows a resentment for both Thanagarians, jealous of their legacy. Hath tries to drain energy from the living shadow bred by the villain Starbreaker (see "Mystery in Space") and is attacked by it.
Katar uses hieroglyphics in Carter's shack to show the link between this ancestor and himself. Battles between his ancestor and legendary monsters link up with Katar's previous battles with lion-like men and metal giants. Shaken up by this revelation, Shayera calls John to see how he is doing. We see John with Adam Strange, Sardath, Alanna and Red Tornado chatting about their willingness to strike a peace treaty. When Shayera tries to explain this to Katar, there is an alert in the capital city.
After fighting a massive shadow monster, Katar and Shayera are met by Hath Set who believes this creature to be sent by Rann, as it has remnants of Starbreaker's power. In the capital base, Katar wants to push the war, but Shayera tries to talk him out of it. Shayera and Katar sleep with each other and Hath Set mysteriously appears, gets a recording, and leaves. On Rann, John is visited in his bedroom by the shadows of Katar and Shayera. They reveal to John that Thanagar will conduct war on Rann at a certain time tomorrow and that Shayera has joined Thanagar's army. When he doesn't believe this, John is left a piece of black glass. The shadows disappear laughing and John sees on the black glass a recording of Katar and Shayera's consummation. John wakes Adam and Alanna and tells them to get ready for war.
Shayera stands on a balcony in the morning, hating herself for betraying John. Katar tells her it was simply fate pulling them together again. Katar sympathizes with Shayera and tells her that if she wishes to go back to Earth as Hawkgirl, he will always follow her as Hawkman. They are interrupted by Hath Set who shows them the destruction of Thanagarian homes last night, with recordings of shadowy figures wrecking the buildings and killing civilians. Footprints from the wreckage lead into the desert, and Katar finds Carter Hall dead and his shack of mythology desecrated.
Now waging a full war, Red Tornado and Adam Strange defend Rann from Thanagarian troops as John Stewart breaks into Thanagar's war hall. Shayera is told by Hath Set that John Stewart was seen by Thanagar's forests and she flies off alone to confront him. In the war hall, Katar runs into John and they fight it out throughout the building. Destroying structures, striking with green light constructs and Nth Metal war tools. Meanwhile, Shayera explores the forest and finds a shadow of John, but it is revealed to be an entity called The Shadow Thief. As they fight, Shayera finds out the Shadow Thief is Hath Set, who embraced his part in the Hawk Legacy as the betrayer and fused with the shadow left from Starbreaker. Katar and John's fight is so savage, they begin fighting in the midst of Rann/Thanagar firefights. John is able to strip Katar of all his armor and weapons by making super magnets, John then gets Katar in a hold, but Katar savagely bites off the finger John's power ring was on. Unarmed, Katar and John fight on mortal terms. Shayera can't seem to even hit Hath Set because of his shadowy body, she is even striped off her Nth Metal and almost gets her wings ripped off.
Alanna-Sardath's daughter and Adam's lover-shows up to help Shayera. Together, they strip Hath Set of the shadow and the shadow evaporates without its host. A warhead is being set to launch at Rann as Katar and John burst into the launch room. Shayera and Alanna appear with Hath Set, revealing all of this to be his doing. Shayera, John (who recovers his ring) and Katar fly after the warhead once it's launched and the Nth Metal is too powerful to break through. John uses his magnet trick again and drags the warhead into space, seemingly dying with the explosion. Katar and Shayera search the empty space and Shayera is pleased to see Katar carrying the surviving John back to Thanagar.
Katar Hol and Rann Prime General Aleea agree to strike a peace treaty and donate resources and workers to each others planets to help recover. Katar personally takes Hath Set to a prison cell, heartbroken about his betrayal. Hath's evil is confirmed further when he brags about Shayera never coming back to Katar. On Rann, Sardath uses synthetic technology to produce and attach a cloned finger for John. John, Katar and Shayera meet on Rann and all agree they will continue to help the planets recover. Shayera is asked by both men who she truly loves, and Shayera chooses John, claiming fate and pressure drove her into Katar's arms. While John feels betrayed, he is thinks all three of them deserve a second chance. The film ends with Shayera monologuing about her fate, saying it does not matter who she flies by or who she flies with, as long as she continues to fly.
After the credits, Apollo-the former sun god-brings some files to the table of a hidden villain. The files show pictures of all of the Justice League members. Vandal Savage turns around in his chair and looks over the files. He then commands Apollo to "begin the recruiting process".
Thank you for reading.
Up next, the Justice League face their greatest enemy....themselves, in "Justice League: Tower of Babel".

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Saturday, October 17, 2015

Wrapped in The Web of Silk

Usually in comic books, characters spun out of events don't go far or are dropped as quickly as they rise. One character who has been in constant threat of that is Marvel's newest Spider-chick, Silk. Today on "Current Issues" we talk about this up-and-comers latest solo title.
Writer: Robbie Thompson
Artist: Stacy Lee

Cindy Moon/Silk was created by Dan Slott and Humberto Ramos in 2014's "Amazing Spider-Man #4". As revealed in an "Original Sin" tie-in story, Cindy was bitten by the same radioactive spider that bit Peter Parker, but rather than run off and become a superhero, Cindy was advised by a man named Ezekiel to remain in a bunker to be studied and hopefully cured of her powers. Cindy was in the bunker for thirteen years before Spider-Man let her free and saw as she became her own hero named Silk. After a dimensional headache of an event called "Spider-Verse", Silk went back to basics and got her own solo title.
Silk quickly establishes a status quo for this new character. Cindy works at a New York news station with Peter Parker's old boss J. Jonah Jameson who treats her with more respect because of her outdated way of reporting. As Silk, she fights crime regularly and between these two parts of her life she researches the whereabouts of her family who vanished after she escaped from the bunker. Ironically, Cindy uses the bunker as a home so she doesn't have to pay rent and she can be somewhere she is comfortable. Things get tricky when she crosses the path of newly appointed crime boss Selina Kyle/Black Cat and battles a dragon-themed minor villain multiple times. Being in New York and being Spider-Man's on-again-off-again girlfriend (they had an "animals in heat" situation) Silk runs into Spidey a few times and it becomes clear that their relationship isn't as personable as Spidey wants and Silk is too closed in to ask for his help. Currently, the "End of Days" event is apparently ending the Marvel Universe and Silk spends her last day finding her brother and embracing him.
Silk is several things: an Korean superhero, a female superhero, a faster and a better web-weaver than Spider-Man, a spin-off character with an actual personality, but above all she feels like a friend readers can invest in. By following her adventures you quickly start to feel for the character, you end up liking Silk as a person so much you want her to find her family. You would think with a character who's knocked boots with Spider-Man the desire readers want is for them to be together, but the book is about far more than your typical "I need to be my own person before I can be your person" type of story. There's an element of obvious recapping with the character as she is slightly out of this era. In her dialog she makes 90's references-Pokemon and Eminem-and her style of news reporting is done via notebook and pencil instead of laptop or tablet. There is a charm to Silk's character that easily carries readers onto her side. With the aforementioned dragon-themed villain, Silk actually ends up talking to this guy and learning he's a father and he commits crimes to support his daughter and that he isn't naturally bad. Silk does something most heroes don't by fixing crime personally. Now the art-howly Batcow, Batman-the art. The art for Silk is fantastic. There's a certain cartoony-almost Disney-design to the book, characters are expressive and bright and the proportions for even minor details like hair or facial markings is so well drawn. The book has unique coloration drawing from dark and bold colors and bright, better emphasized colors. I especially like the coloration choices for Silk herself because they make it a point to match her costume's colors with her wardrobe, her costume has teal/cyan colors with much black and hints of red and all those colors appear on her clothes when she's just a civilian. It's a very whimsical style for this uplifting character.
I'm am very grateful for how well this book was handled, personally I prejudged the character when she appearing in "Amazing Spider-Man" because her attraction to Peter made me think she was a new tagged-on love interest for Peter. Additionally, Silk is one of the many Spider-Women in current Marvel along with Jessica Drew, Anya Corezon, and the other universe version of Gwen Stacy, so I was afraid she'd just be lost in the cluster of spider-characters. Luckily, she stuck out and became more likable to me than any of those characters. I'd go so far as to say I enjoy this character more than Peter Parker/Spider-Man as of late. While it seems Peter has been stuck in an awkward "nobody knows what to do with me" state of adulthood, Silk is a character with a fresh start and room to grow. I'm confident that when this book returns after "Secret Wars" I will continue to praise this characters, despite my fear in what direction they may take her.
Thanks for reading!

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Friday, October 16, 2015

THIS Is Superman

You've read them online-or if you haven't, nows a second chance-and wondered in waiting for long enough. The first audio rendition of The Panel Biter DC Cinematic Universe is here for the listening! Come hear how Raffi would plan a Superman film!

Thursday, October 15, 2015

The Getting Tree

In DC Comics there is a slew of plant-related characters like Swamp Thing, Poison Ivy, and Black Orchid, but one grassy-guy nobody really talks about is a certain man named Jason Woodrue, The Floronic Man! Let's settle down talk about this green-thumbed Z-Lister!
Created by Gardner Fox and Gil Kane in "The Atom #1" in 1962, Jason Woodrue first went by the name "Plant Master" and was an exile from a world called Floria. When he came to Earth he planned on using botanical powers to take over the planet, but he was stopped by Ray Palmer/The Atom. He later used experiments to become a human/plant hybrid called The Floronic Man and was continuously beaten by the like of The Flash, Green Lantern, and Wonder Woman before joining The Secret Society of Super-Villains. Then he got beat up by The Justice League.
He later returned under the hiring of a U.S. general to study the creature known as Swamp Thing. When the general ignored Woodrue and insisted Swamp Thing was dead, Woodrue intentionally locked the general in a room with Swamp Thing-who killed the general. From there, Floronic Man constantly tried to further access "The Green" through other characters. "The Green" is a mystical force shared between all plants on Earth, and because Swamp Thing is the avatar of "The Green" Woodrue attacked Swamp Thing imminently. He is also mentioned in the story of Black Orchid, another plant-related character. He became a hero for a short time on The New Guardians, but returned to villainy after his teammates died.
Floronic Man returned to Gotham-now a disembodied head on limb-like roots-and met up with Poison Ivy, who he taught botany before either of them got superpowers. Floronic Man's new plan is to start a marijuana crime organization and corrupt the streets of Gotham with Poison Ivy. He also wants Poison Ivy to "have his child", this obviously causes Ivy to release a captured Batman so he can stop the botanical villain. After the 2011 reboot "The New 52", Woodrue returned as "The Seeder" to fight Swamp Thing for the power of "The Green".
So, let's break this down: First he's from another dimension, then he's fighting Swamp Thing, then he becomes a superhero, but ditches that after his teammates die, then he goes to Gotham to traffic weed, corrupt the streets and impregnate his former student. Coupled with the photo above, this guy is a real creep! Hard to believe he tried to be a hero. Turn over a new leaf, you may say. The Floronic Man is said to appear in Guillermo Del Toro's "Dark Universe" film about DC's mystical characters, if that ever happens. You may have seen Woodrue in the "Batman & Robin" film as the professor who created Poison Ivy, check out The Panel Biter's movie commentary for more (plug!). This character acheives in the creepy factor, but is obviously a tangled mess of pushover. Just carry some pesticide and I'm sure your walk through the dark forest won't be plagued by this plundering plant-perpetrator.
Thanks for reading!

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Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Twin Horns

I'm as sick as hearing "Daredevil is just a Batman ripoff" as I am of hearing "Deadpool = Life". Batman and Daredevil are two shining examples of the vigilante character tropes, and it's about time I split the difference and educate you readers on this question: What's The Difference?
Created in 1938 by Bob Kane and Bill Finger in "Detective Comics #27", a character bred from the mythos of Sherlock Holmes, Dracula, The Shadow, and Zorro, a legend was crafted from the ideals abandoned by The Man of Steel. Following the first superhero, America met it's first antihero. The Dark Knight, The Caped Crusader, Gotham's Savior. The Batman. Bruce Wayne was ten years old when he witnessed the murder of his parents by a random act of crime. He gave up his childhood and travelled the Earth. Becoming a martial artist, a scientist, a scholar, a detective, a man of deadly abilities sculpted by the vengeance growing in his heart. He returned to the broken city of Gotham, ran by corrupt police and empires of criminals, Bruce Wayne struggled to find the means of changing his home. One night-as he bled in his study-Bruce Wayne was visited by a bat that shattered his window and sat on his father's marble bust. He then realized the truth, the truth that criminals are a superstitious and cowardly lot, that to inspire fear in the hearts of men Bruce Wayne would need to escape his humanity and become a creature of the night, a watchful shadow to haunt the city and enforce justice. To assure that not another child losses their family. Bruce Wayne stood that night and claimed, "I will become a bat". Batman was the first mainstream superhero not to have any superhuman powers, but he made up for it with his skills and resources. He trained under various masters around the world, training in every martial art known to man and crafting his body into peak physical condition. Batman has dug himself out of a 6-foot grave, escaped supposedly unescapable deathtraps, and create contingency plans to demobilize his fellow members of The Justice League by studying their weaknesses. Among his arsenal he carries throwing weapons called Batarangs, grappling hooks, pellets of varied effects, bolas, small explosives, tracking devices, and access to vehicles that traverse land, sea, and air. Above all, Batman's mind is his powerful tool. Batman is a master detective, able to predict his foes actions and solve mysterious identities easily. Batman once convinced a God to become a mortal man on the principle of "the human experience" and then socked him in the jaw. Superman-Bruce Wayne's best friend-has regarded Batman as both "the smartest man he knows" and "the most dangerous man alive". Batman's motivation and feats have deserved him a place among The Justice League, he has bred a family of crime fighters, his arsenal and reach has crossed the DC Universe to it's very ends. Even death cannot put The Dark Knight down, the loss of loved ones cannot put The Dark Knight down, because the war on crime is a war that never ends and a war The Dark Knight will never stop fighting.
Before he was The Devil of Hell's Kitchen, before he was blind, Matthew Murdock was still The Man Without Fear. In his first appearance-"Daredevil #1" in 1964 by Stan Lee and Bill Everett-Matt Murdock saved the life of a blind man by pushing out of a truck's path, but chemicals from the crashed truck spilled onto the young Murdock's eyes and forever blinded him. The sightless Murdock grew up with his father, heavy-wieght boxer "Battling" Jack Murdock. After crossing his employers and refusing to throw a fight, Jack won his last bout and was killed, leaving all he had to his son Matt. Matt continued to grow under the tutorship of a blind martial artist named Stick, who taught Matt how to use his heightened senses to his advantage. Setting up a civilian life as the morally-decisive defense attorney Matt Murdock, our hero spent his nights fighting crime on the streets of Hell's Kitchen as Daredevil. Unable to see injustice, but being ever aware of the evil that corrupts his home, the evil that took his father's life. Stan Lee's thought process behind Daredevil was done on a whim, he thought he could create a blind superhero and make that work. Surprising even Stan The Man himself, Daredevil was one of Marvel's earliest success stories, he was most grounded and human of their characters. The Fantastic Four fought cosmic entities and The Avengers battled gods and even Spider-Man battled superhuman criminals, Daredevil crawled among the bleak streets and ripped crime out by the root, tackling organized crime and washing out the grime corruption had laid in his city. Questions of morality spun through his mind constantly, and being a "helpless lawyer" acted a good cover and a harder realization. That if the law could not punish those who rot the world, vengeance would be the only tool left unbroken. Along with gymnastics, American boxing and stick-fighting, Daredevil's martial arts abilities rank high in the MCU, with a mix of arts like ninjutsu, jujitsu, aikito, and kung fu to name a few. His arsenal is limited to a special baton fitted in his walking stick, this baton can act as a roped-projectile, a grappling hook and a blunt weapon. He is a master lawyer, having an encyclopedic knowledge of law. His detective skills are masterful too, helping that his other senses allow him to see better than any person capable of sight. He can tell if someone is lying by listening to their heartbeat, he can track someone by their smell, he can detect a person's diet by smelling their meals through their breath, he can get the layout of a room by listening to conversation in said room, changes in temperature, air currents, air density, shifts of bones and the taste of metal in the air allow Daredevil can be omnipresent with his location and situation. Though he has rarely allied with The Avengers, Daredevil is better known for his relationships with other street-level heroes like The Punisher, Elektra, Spider-Man, and The Heroes for Hire. Although he may not fight aliens or topple Gods or save the universe, Daredevil is the watchful eye for the man on the streets, the guardian to all who walk under the superhero umbrella. While Thor strikes Galactus with his mighty hammer, Daredevil makes sure the citizens of Hell's Kitchen can sleep soundly at night. Although his actions may seem minuscule, they are never unneeded.
Batman and Daredevil are spawned from the same urge to rid the streets of crime, to offset the corruption of one's home and strike terror into those who wish harm upon them. They dress as fear, they neglect fear, they carry fear like a weapon, they are the men who walk the fine line between fighting evil and becoming the thing they hate. Batman is rich and protected, but left his fortune behind to mold his body into a weapon. Daredevil is grounded and vulnerable, but uses his weaknesses to his advantage. Both represent the masked horror of what a rotted city can create, both are men of principle, morality and unrelenting vengeance. They are the creatures man fears, the bat and the devil.
Thank you for reading.

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Tuesday, October 13, 2015

In a HellBlaze of Glory

Spooky Month starts off with the story of John Constantine, The Laughing Magician, The Jack of All Trades and Master of None. The Comic Buffet Crew is ready to get knee deep in some paranormal abnormalities! Come listen in at The Panel Biter Podbean! Kicking evil right in the arse!

Monday, October 12, 2015

Mystery in Space

"Adam Strange"
A war in space threatens the lives of three planets, feud among alien races could lead to an intergalactic holocaust, and only one man can truly make a difference. Adam Strange? A scientist of a primitive world, down-on-his-luck Canadian super-scientist Adam Strange finds himself between a rock, a hard place, and three bizarre alien armies. How will this visitor survive this raging collision? How will he topple The Starbreaker? Will Adam Strange be Earth newest off-Earth hero? Let's find out!
Deep in space, a technologically advanced planet called Rann is in the middle of a war between two planets: Thanagar, home to savage winged-warriors, and Gordania, home to militaristic reptiles. Both planets want Rann's technology to gain the war advantage, and Rann's protection under its Prime General Vath Sarn and Head Scientist Sardath runs thin. Sardath and his daughter Alanna attempt to create a weapon for Vath, but don't tell him it is actually a teleportation tool (The Zeta Beam), as-Sardath predicts-Vath is slowly becoming more aggressive by the threat of war. Sardath rushes to complete this weapon before a weapon of Vath's own creation called The Starbreaker is finished and used to eliminate both warring planets.
Down on Earth, a young Canadian scientist named Adam Strange is being thrown out of his lab. Strange was developing teleportation technology and his funding professors discovered he was sharing this technology with The Justice League in secrecy, rather than his country. With his lab gone, Strange retreats to his apartment and he toys around with a prototype teleportation device to ease himself. Rann's civilians are forced into their homes as a battalion of Thanagarian and Gordanian soldiers have a fire-fight in the skies above Rann's Capital City. Sardath activates the Zeta Beam to warp away a warship, at the same time Adam Strange activates his prototype teleportation device and Adam Strange is warped to Planet Rann, right under the warship the Zeta Beam targeted. Falling through the sky, Adam is caught by Thanagarian war general Katar Hol and held prisoner on a Thanagarian base on Rann. Alanna gears up to rescue Adam and return him to Sardath.
Adam is given a Rannian adaptation vaccine so he can breath the planet's air and communicate in their language. He learns Rann's culture and science through Alanna and Sardath and learns he had unknowingly discovered Zeta Beam tech decades before Earth should have. When Vath learns of Sardath's reluctance to make weapons and that Sardath wants to protect Adam, Vath becomes angry and tries to use The Starbreaker before it's recommended activation. The resulting explosion launches a black mass onto Vath. Meanwhile, Adam and Alanna start to fall in love and explore the landscape of Rann. A Gordanian squadron raids the jungle and hunt Adam and Alanna, but Adam's experiences of exploring the wilderness allow him to use clever traps to defeat them.
Vath reemerges with cosmic power beyond comprehension, calling himself "The Starbreaker". To demonstrate his power, Starbreaker magnetizes every Gordanian on Rann to their main warship and sends it flying back to Gordania. Starbreaker than destroys the Zeta Beam device and uses it to extend his power to Gordania and destroy the planet. This planetary genocide forced Katar Hol to meet with Sardath and develop a plan to destroy Starbreaker. With their combined science, Rann and Thanagar seemingly evaporate Starbreaker, and Katar Hol quickly turns on Sardath and Thanagarians attack Rann. As the Rann soldiers prepare for war, Sardath shows Adam and Alanna the last "weapon" that got him in hot water with for Vath, a non-lethal robot called Ulthoon. In Adam's language, Ulthoon roughly translates to "Red Tornado". Tornado fights by generating large wind cyclones to non-violantly push enemies away and tire them out. With Adam's guidance, Tornado is able to disarm the Thanagarians as their air superiority is compromised.
In their short moment of victory, Starbreaker returns to Rann revealing the residual energy around the planet helped him reconstitute. As the Thanagarians flee, Starbreaker announces his rule over Rann and begins spreading solid shadows over the lands. The shadow petrifies the soldiers who attack him and Red Tornado pulls Adam out of the area before he can save Alanna. Sardath is in shambles knowing his daughter could be dead and Starbreaker is back. Though heavy research, Adam and Sardath learn Starbreaker is invincible because he lacks a physical form, he is simply absorbing/dispersing cosmic energy manifesting a body. A "Space Ghost", as Adam puts it. Adam traverses the shadowy city to find Vath's body still under the unfinished Starbreaker weapon and takes it to the lab, avoiding shadow minions along the way.
Adam Strange, Red Tornado and Sardath take one more fight to Starbreaker, who now sits upon a throne, dining on Rann's energy. As Red Tornado distracts him, Adam and Sardath use Adam's prototype Zeta device to teleport Starbreaker's energy-based form into Vath's body. With the overwhelming power inside his frail body, Vath is left brain-dead. The shadow over Rann washes away and all its citizens-Alanna included-are revived. Vath's body is kept under high security and his far more logical second-in-command Aleea is deemed the new Prime General. Adam decides to stay on Rann with Alanna as his love, Sardath as his mentor and Red Tornado as his loyal friend. Adam sends a message to The JL Watchtower describing the events. This gives us a scene of Shayera/Hawkgirl and John Stewart/Green Lantern being asked by the JL to travel to Thanagar and sort the mess out. Adam reflects on these events, coming to the conclusion that while Earth wasn't ready for the mind of Adam Strange, his new home of Rann will only support and further his career as a super-scientist.
After the credits, Katar Hol returns to Thanagar and barks at his second-in-command Hath Set to prepare better weapons for their invasion of Rann. Behind Katar's back, Hath goes into a secret armory and looks over a portion of the living shadow Starbreaker created. Hath reveals he will not only destroy Rann with this shadow, but he will take control of Thanagar as well.
Thank you for reading.
"Hawkgirl" flies in next!

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