TOT: The Punisher Goes Black

Remember that one time The Punisher became a black man?

The Punisher may not be one of my favorite characters, but I can acknowledge how important he is the Marvel Universe. He isn't a superhero, he isn't superpowered, he's just a man. But that's what makes him so interesting. It's fascinating to think of The Punisher as a force of nature, to know wherever you go in the Marvel Universe there exists a mortal man who will stop at nothing to kill the killers. With nothing but a gun The Punisher has toppled crime empires through means of violence, torture, and bloodshed. All the while branding a big skull and refusing to hide behind a mask. He wants people to know who is after them, to know that he isn't special. And that should terrify them.
In 1991 The Punisher became a black person. In an arc called "Final Days", writer Mike Baron wrote a story in which The Kingpin hires a criminal mastermind to kill The Punisher. Funny enough an artist who worked on this story-Jimmy Palmiotti-is one of the creators on DC's "Harley Quinn" book. Anyway, during the story Frank Castle is corned in a prison and attacked by a group of thugs and Jigsaw-the only Punisher villain who isn't dead already. They mess Frank up pretty bad, Jigsaw even cuts up Frank's face as revenge for cutting his face up years ago.
Frank manages to get away and get the help of a hooker. Not in that way, weirdo. This hooker used to be a doctor and she stitches up his face. Frank wants her to perform plastic surgery to disguise himself, so she operates in an old chemical factory she used to work at. Five days later, Frank wakes up to find his skin black. Doctor Hooker claims she used a skin-graft or some such nonsense to alter Frank's pigment, but it is only temporary. Unlike when Lois Lane asked Superman to build a machine that would turn her black for a news story as that was permanent until reusing the machine. It was the 60's.
Still doped up on pain relievers, Frank tries to drive to Chicago to get to a weapons stash he hid away there and gets pulled over. The year being 1991 and his skin being black he is obviously beaten by six police officers. Lucky for him Luke Cage-former Power Man and usual Hero For Hire-steps in to help a brother out. They steal the police cruiser and drive off, Frank introduces himself as "Frank Rook". Ah, keeping the medieval theme I see. Frank hires Luke to help him find the stash. Luke makes it very clear he will not kill, and neither will Frank while they work together. When they arrive at the stash hideout it's full of criminals who gets their heads knocked around. The stash had already been cleaned out and a bunch of money was gone too. Luke offers Frank a gig he could help him with to make up for the payment, a hostage situation. When Luke and Frank get to the kidnapper, Frank kills him and his bodyguard. The hostage is saved and Frank and Luke have an argument later on. Frank gives Luke the whole "you're willing to break the law, but too weak to pull the trigger" stuff and Luke tells him to beat it.
Frank and Doctor Hooker are later recaptured by the thugs from the prison, but Luke springs into action to help out. By that time Frank's surgery has worn off and The Punisher lives again! After it's all said and done, Luke claims Frank owes him. Again. But Frank refuses, claiming when the times comes he'll help Luke the way he sees fit. He leaves him with a warning: he may stand on the edge of the law, but he better stay on the right side. Or The Punisher will be after him.
Sensitive as it may be, Frank Castle experiencing being a black person is handled with maturity. There aren't a bunch of black jokes or anything, worse he gets is police brutality which he would have still gotten if he were just Frank Castle the serial killer. I find it interesting there was no moment of hate from Luke about Frank's disguise. You would think a strong black figure like Luke Cage would find it offensive Frank literally put on blackface to hide himself, but no. In fact, Luke Cage is more offended by Frank's habit to kill people than his skin. That's pretty cool. Nowadays it might be different, but back then it wasn't a matter of race of culture, it was a killer conversing with a non-lethal protector. In the same way The Punisher was set against Daredevil on Netflix, this story sets Punisher against Luke Cage's work method. Wow, a Punisher story that teaches us how moral values are more important then the color of your skin. Who would've guessed?
Thanks for reading!

The Bat Kids Gets RANKED

Every Batman sidekick. Ranked. Let's go.

10. Jason Todd

This might piss some people off, but if you've been reading my stuff long enough and you've listened to enough podcasts, you'll know I don't really like Jason Todd. Don't get me wrong, I like The Red Hood. As a villain. When Jason was Robin he went from being a carbon copy of Dick Grayson to being a street-punk. And I liked the street-punk aesthetic. I liked how his death affected Batman. I liked how his return as The Red Hood was such an impact. But that is where it ends. I am very much against the idea of bringing Red Hood back forever and making him a hero again, superheroes come back to life as often as the sun rises and stripping Batman of a compelling villain and the trauma of losing a sidekick because of his failures truly is a crime to the character's pathos.

9. Harper Row

Another off-the-street kind of sidekick. If you don't know who she is I cannot blame you because DC Comics seems to forget her a lot. Her father was a criminal, her brother is gay and often bashed for it, and she is a tech wiz. In ways, Harper borrows characteristics from other sidekicks, but carries a modern design that places her in a more realistic light. However, she is the only sidekick to be robbed of her change to be trained, when she became "Bluebird" Batman had amnesia and put the cowl away, leaving her without a mentor. It's an interesting angle sure, but Harper is otherwise a collaboration of more interested characters wrapped in a rip-off Nightwing costume with a 2017 haircut.

8. Duke Thomas

Took us this long to have a Black Robin? Well, not exactly. It was teased for a few years that this young man would become the next Robin, and oh, would the prospect of an African American Robin be prosperous. However, it would seem the writers overlooked the fact that Batman's son Damian would rather craw through the intestines of a dead camel than give up the Robin mantle. Duke is well trained and experienced, even leading gang of Robins who were all easily forgotten as well. What separates Duke are his metahuman powers. He can create light holograms and has taken the name "The Signal". While his personality is unique and the idea of superpowers makes him different, only time will tell if he becomes a welcomed member of the family.

7. Damian Wayne

Many people hate Damian Wayne because Tim Drake was Robin for twenty-something years and Damian was a brat for a year and nobody wants to sacrifice nostalgia just to give a new character a chance. I like Damian Wayne. You'd be a cocky little brat too if your father was Batman and your mother was the daughter of Ra's al Ghul. Damian was raised an assassin and carries a guilt complex, hoping to wipe the red from his ledger by being the greatest Robin ever. He believes the role of Batman is his to inherit and has come to respect and care for his fellow sidekicks. Damian seems like a better version of a bratty Robin and I'm happy competent writers have allowed the character to progress and become a better person, as opposed to other versions who are just straight-up evil.

6. Stephanie Brown

Daughter of the villain Cluemaster, lover of Tim Drake, and carrier of many monikers (Spoiler, Robin, and Batgirl) Stephanie Brown is the glue of the Batman Family. She began as an untrained vigilante who slowly, but surely, earned the respect of her peers. As Spoiler, she ratted out her father's crimes and as the new Batgirl she flipped the script on the kind of attitude a Batman character could have. I placed her here because although she had a rough start we still got to see her improve and develop her own way of fighting crime. And in recent stories she has shown she isn't afraid to rebel against Batman if it means making a real difference.

5. Cassandra Cain

Batman has admitted that in a one-on-one fight, Cassandra Cain could defeat him. Drink that in, haters. Cassandra has gone by Orphan, Black Bat, and Batgirl, my favorite Batgirl actually. Cass is also a better take on Damian Wayne. How? Cass is the daughter of two assassins and was an assassin herself at a young age. When she crossed her mother he got her throat slit and her ability to speak taken away. Newer versions show us that she was specifically designed not to speak, but to kill and only kill. And for the likes of Batman and Oracle to turn this assassin's life around and show her the meaning of being human is truly a bright light upon these characters. Cassandra is a unique addition to the family and is as much lovable as she is deadly.

4. Luke Fox

While Lucius Fox helps make all of Batman's tools and vehicles, his son Luke Fox is a trained MMA fighter, and-like his dad-a technological genius. And he's another Batman understudy known as Batwing. Take Iron Man, Batman, and Batman Beyond and you have Batwing, right down to his armor. Yes, Batwing uses tech-ed out armor in his war on crime and because of his family connections provides a different perspective on Batman's presence in Gotham City. Batman's hands-off approach helped Luke really grow into his own hero quite quickly, and Luke's different way of fighting crime makes him feel very different from the rest of the characters. I also appreciate the hints to Batman Beyond given off with Luke's inventions.

3. Barbara Gordon

As Batgirl, Barbara Gordon was a breath of fresh air. A positive female character who could match wits with Batman and Robin. Batman had even admitted to Batgirl once taking his place as protector of Gotham City. And when Barbara was crippled in a horrific event, she continued to be of use as The Oracle. With her help, superheroes across the DC Universe accomplished great deeds. From The Justice League to The Suicide Squad, The Oracle was a voice of reason and a respected member of the community. Being the daughter of Commissioner Gordon also gives Babs some much welcomed respect. And being a love interest of Dick Grayson? No wonder she's so high on the list. And the fact that she is a handicapped superhero AND a veteran female hero is just so inspiring. That being said a lot of unfair changes have been made to Barbara over the years, but the good moments outway the idiotic. Legs and cowls and capes can all be ignored, because The Oracle will always be one of DC's greatest heroes.

2. Tim Drake

When Ra's al Ghul refers to you with the same title as Batman, you know you've made it big. Tim Drake was a child prodigy, born to be a detective. Born to take the role of Robin at the most sensitive of times. As Robin, Tim helped his city for many years, 25 years within the publication. He was the first Robin to get his own title, the first Robin to work solo. Tim took the mantle of Robin and made it matter again. And when he wasn't banging blonds, solving crimes, or leading teams, he was caring for his birth father. Until he was killed. Tim was well integrated into the Batman Family, and when he became Red Robin and had a chance to be "his own Batman" he continued to impress readers across the nation. For many, Tim Drake was the greatest Robin because he truly seemed the most deserving to take Batman's role, and even pass him.

1. Dick Grayson

Too bad Dick is the best. Biased? Maybe. Undeserved? Absolutely not. Dick Grayson was the the first Robin, the first sidekick, the first sidekick in superhero comic books, and the first leader of The Teen Titans. As Robin he was a sign that Batman's adventures wouldn't always be dark and grim, he was a sign that Batman could be happy and have a family. He showed readers that no matter how brutal Batman could be, he was still a man who cared about the youth of the day. As Robin, Dick went on to lead his own team, hook up with the likes of Batgirl and Starfire, and become Nightwing. Dick is well connected with superheroes everywhere like Superman, Green Arrow, The Flash, and many more. As Nightwing he was his own man, the first sidekick to earn his passage as a true superhero. And he was so drastically different from Batman in that regard. Dick smiled, he made jokes, he relied on acrobatics and not stealth or intimidation. He shaped himself into the kind of man he was comfortable being, picking and choosing which parts of Batman's methods he'd use. Nightwing helped train the likes of Tim Drake and Damian Wayne, he would eventually become Batman himself when Bruce was unavailable. And as Batman and Robin, Dick and Damian yet again shook the Batman formula and gave us a collection of a new and interesting stories. Dick Grayson is the greatest Batman sidekick because he managed to succeed in two areas: as his own man and as Batman's successor. In both areas Dick has proven to be an effective member of society and quite frankly Batman's greatest achievement.

Thank you for reading.

Boston Facts

Are you a fan of Boston Brand? Well, we got One Dozen Deadman Facts!

1. Deadman's first comic appearance "Strange Adventures #205" is the first comic book to feature narcotics post-The Comics Code of Authority, a code that prevented comic books from featuring adult subject matter like drugs. This presents the fact that the group who established the code didn't actually read most of the material because the issues was approved by the code.

2. Deadman's appearance is a result of how he looked when he died. As "The Deadman", Boston wore his read spandex and wore white makeup. In the story "Kingdom Come", Boston Brand/Deadman looks like a skeleton in his red costume. Artist Alex Ross explained he looks this way because he accepted himself as a spirit. This version of Boston hangs out with godlike beings like The Wizard Shazam, The Spectre, and Zeus to name a few.

3. In the "Teen Titans Go" episode "La Larva De Amor", Deadman's skeleton is found under Starfire's bed by Robin. In the universe of "Flashpoint", Boston performed at the same circus as The Flying Graysons. When Amazonians attack the circus, Boston and Dick Grayson run away and have a few close calls. Until one assault brings the death of Boston. Now as a ghost, Boston protects Grayson on his journey. In the world of "Injustice", Dick Grayson/Nightwing is murdered by Damian Wayne/Robin and Boston Brand willingly moves on to the "other side" so that Dick can become the new "Deadman".

4. Despite being a ghost Deadman is the subject of a few love stories. The earliest being a two-part series called "Deadman: Love After Death" in 1989, and the most recent being a three-part series called "Deadman: Dark Mansion of Forbidden Love" in 2017. He also has a relationship with Dove-from Hawk & Dove-stretching back to 2008.

5. When Boston was murdered during his trapeze act, a Hindu Goddess gave him his ghost powers. This Goddess was named Rama Kushna. "Rama Kushna" is not a real figure in the Hindu fate, but a rearrangement of the name Rama Krishna; a Hindu God of Compassion, Love, and Tenderness. Another fictional Hindu God is simply known as "Rama" and has aided Wonder Woman in the past, possibly forming a affection for her.

6. When he became Deadman, Boston patrolled the fictional city of Nanda Parbat tucked away in Tibet. Based off the real world Nanga Parbat in Pakistan and the fictional Shangri-La, Nanda Parbat is home to the evilest people on Earth who are sent to the city so that Rama Kushna's influence can purge the evil out of them. When inside the city, time moves slower meaning you could spend several years there and exit only a few days after you entered the city. The map one must use to find the hidden city can be put together through several pieces: a tattoo, a scrap of parchment, a poem, and a birthmark. Along with Deadman, other heroes have visited this city: Judomaster, The Crimson Avenger, Batman, The Question, The Elongated Man, Accomplished Perfect Physician, Jason Blood, and Kid Devil to name a few.

7. Deadman can fly, phase through solid objects, and is unseen by most people. His main power is possessing the bodies of other people, overpowering their mind. He usually possesses corpses because it's easier and he can use them without worrying about their personal lives. He even sometimes does this to hook up with love interests. Deadman is not opposed to crossing several lines, too. In "Justice League Unlimited" he uses Batman's body to fire a pistol, much to Batman's anger. In "Legends", Deadman uses the body of an alien to kill another alien and then shoot himself in the head. Sadly, he cannot possess his own corpse.

8. Once trapped in the River Styx, Deadman experiences his version of Hell which is that he is shot in the shoulder by a sharpshooter. However, he never dies, he just feels pain and prays for death.

9. During "Blackest Night" and "Brightest Day", Deadman's corpse becomes a Black Lantern Zombie, but Deadman gains his body back and uses it to further the plot. Deadman ends up being a White Lantern too, and upon being restored to life Boston "lives" as much as he can before the White Lantern's "Entity" reverts Deadman into a ghost.

10. In 2006, Deadman got a thirteen-issue Vertigo series in which none of the previous continuity is used. Brandon Cayce dies on a plane crash and comes back as a ghost, he encounters his former lover Sarah who is pregnant with Scott Cayce's child. Scott is possessed by a being known as "Delvin" who believes the child will be the next step in human evolution. By the end of the story, Brandon agrees to remain a ghost in return for Sarah and the baby continuing to live and for Delvin to leave them alone.

11. Deadman got three animated shorts as part of Cartoon Network's "DC Nation" block. These three short presented Deadman as a child-sized man who hung out with a crow.

12. TNT was going to produce a Deadman TV series in 2000, but it was never put into production. Eric Kripke-creator of "Supernatural"-was going to work on a Deadman TV show, but again it was canned. Guillermo Del Toro has expressed an interest in doing a Deadman film, following that Del Toro claimed he'd do a Justice League Dark film, but while Warner Bros continues to announce the idea there has been no news on the production.
Thanks for reading!

TOT: Cousin-Lovin'-Kryptonians

Remember that one time Supergirl married Superman?

Cousins. Cousins are kind of weird. They're not as close as brothers or sisters, but they're closer than uncles and aunts. There aren't exactly a lot of notable cousins in comic books, with Superman and Supergirl being the only real pair. And that's cool, I've never gone into detail about it but I like the Superman/Supergirl relationship. She was sent to Earth as a teenager to raise her baby cousin, she gets trapped in orbit, and by the time she arrives she's still a teenager and her baby cousin is a thirty year old man! So there's a reverse of mentoring there, there's family. And with DC Comics they've been really fast and loose on the subject of Superman having family and there being other Kryptonians. After all, how can he be the last of his kind with other Kryptonians here and there?
Well, in 2003 DC Comics was starting to loosen up on that rule. You see, Kara Zor-El died in 1985 in "Crisis on Infinite Earths" and was seemingly forgotten until 1994 when a new Supergirl was introduced-Matrix. She was an invention of Lex Luthor from another dimension, a world where there was no Superman. That version of Lex created this goo creature than could turn into Supergirl. That Supergirl made it into the main universe and in 1996 fused with a teenage girl named Linda Danvers. For more on Matrix check out a link at the bottom of the page.
From one parallel Earth to another, another version of Kara Zor-El found her way the main universe in a story called "Many Happy Returns". This Kara was based off her 50's incarnation and wanted to stay in this universe, trying to be a superhero and a high school student. However, Hal Jordan (previously The Green Lantern, current Spectre) appeared and insisted Kara must die because it was her "fate". Gee, if only DC Comics had a guy who professionalized in fate. Apparently, there is a cosmic entity who just hates Supergirl in general so it wants Kara destroyed. So Linda decides to take Kara's place, allowing Kara to stay in the main universe while Linda goes back to her world and prepares for a premature death. She does this because, well, she's Supergirl.
Linda arrives in Kara's old world and tries to recreate Kara's arrival to Earth, hoping everyone will buy her lie, but that world's version of Superman (who I will refer to as Hick-Superman) immediately knows she's not from Krypton. After explaining her story Hick-Superman comes to sympathize and the two fight crime together. During one of their quieter days, Hick-Superman reveals he is in love with Supergirl. And Supergirl...goes along with it.
Supergirl and Hick-Superman get married and have a child together and live happily ever after until Hal Jordan reappears to put an end to this fanfiction fairy tale by telling Linda the cosmic being that hates Kara found her and took her hostage, and that Linda has disrupted the history of this universe. So Linda makes a deal with Hal: She'll help Hal defeat the cosmic being and undo the changes to this world's history, but Hal cannot erase her and Hick-Superman's daughter from existence. So two Supergirls and The Spectre defeat the cosmic being, Kara Zor-El goes back to her world which has it's clock rewound, and Linda is restored to her previous age and returns to her home dimension. And her daughter? She gets to wonder the cosmos having excellent adventures.
What we have here is a comic book panel that-out of context-is disturbing. What is worse is that when you actually try to explain this panel in detail you bring multiverse theory, time travel, displaced children, and cosmic entities with misplaced hatred into the mix. When we really break it down though Linda Danvers isn't Superman's cousin, neither is Matrix, and Hick-Superman isn't even related to Kara Zor-El from Linda's world because they come from different universes. So why do I still feel uncomfortable with this panel? Even knowing the context, why is it so gross? Maybe I don't like the idea of superheroes hooking up with sidekicks, maybe Supergirl still seems too young, or maybe, just maybe, I can see the stink in the whole thing. I can see a writer thinking to themselves "wouldn't be hot if Supergirl just hooked up with Superman". Then when producing the idea he had to make up excuses as to why it's not creepy. "Different universes! Not related! Doesn't count as incest". That kind of story telling just feels like an excuse to explore darker places of sexuality. And what a way to run out of ideas. Having Supergirl screw Superman? As if the well of ideas wasn't dried up when they hooked him up with Wonder Woman.
Thanks for reading.
For more on Supergirl/Matrix: http://panelbiter.blogspot.com/2015/05/a-gross-imperfection.html

The Million-Mutant Woman

So, let me get this straight Marvel Comics. You want to push The X-Men and convince people you haven't given up on them so your solution is throwing ten X-Men books at the wall and seeing what sticks and the one character who can literally do everything every other mutant character can do doesn't get a book? Man, you're lucky your movies are good. Today I give you my Pitch-It for a Rogue solo series!

So usually when I pitch a comic book story I go for team-oriented stories, but I've had this idea for a while now and I'd like to see it realized. As you may have read from my Top 5 about characters I wanted to see in "Marvel vs Capcom Infinite", I wanted to see a version of Rogue who can tap into the powers of all the mutants she's come in contact with in the past. Yeah, we're doing that idea. In the pages of the current event "Secret Empire", Captain "Hail Hydra" America's mutant cronies Xorn and Emma Frost have discovered a way to activate a "Second Mutation" within mutants. The idea of a "Second Mutation" was established by Grant Morrison is the early 2000's and basically gave writers an explanation to new looks and powers for X-Men characters. What I would establish is that during "Secret Empire" the mutant Avenger/X-Men Rogue escapes from a mutant concentration camp, breaks into a lab, and then-in order to defeat a horde of Hydra robots-takes the Second Mutation serum and taps into the powers of The X-Men. The rule being she can only access one character at a time. She uses her powers to spring the other X-Men out of the camps and take the fight to Cap.
After that whole mess, Cable runs some tests and finds Rogue's new powers aren't permanent-she has about thirty days-and Rogue also discovers she can't access the same character twice. In Rogue's case she doesn't start running out for a while, after all the mutants she's touched and how many of them have similar powers. Luckily she can reuse certain characters by simply absorbing them again. Unluckily, due to her using so many mutant powers Cable also reasons her original powers will inverse after the thirty-day period. "What? Like I'll die" Rogue asks. "Actually" Cable replies, "It's worse". Tests show that when this period ends Rogue's original power of draining life essences will reverse and she will be drained. Her powers go first, then her vitality, and finally her life.
Rogue asks around the superhero community and almost everyone comes up short. It doesn't help that Mr. Fantastic is missing, Iron Man is in a coma, Hank Pym is Ultron, and Beast is in prison for the events of "Secret Empire". Rogue runs to any other geniuses she can like Black Panther and Victor Von Doom and even Spider-Man, but the whole time finds she is being followed. Confronting her stalker Rogue faces Danger-the robot incarnation of The Danger Room. Danger's programming restricts her from killing any member of The X-Men, and early on her whole goal was killing them as revenge against Professor X for containing her consciousness. But after a few years she became a member of the X-Men and left that revenge in the past. Until-another idea of mine-someone implanted her with Sentinel Programming. Now Danger wants to fight Rogue and get her to exhaust all her mutant powers. By countering all of Rogue's powers Danger believes she will then be able to kill each individual X-Man. Basically, she is using Rogue as practice.
Between battles with Danger, Rogue decides to go to The Inhuman Royal Family. Their alien technology and previous encounters with the mutants may give them some idea of how to cure Rogue. Mutants and Inhumans aren't buddy-buddy so she brings her Inhuman Avengers teammate Synapse with her. With the Inhumans in space and the best space ships belonging to Alpha Flight, Rogue must confront Captain Marvel/Carol Danvers. This is extremely awkward for the two of them due to Rogue stealing Carol's powers back in the 80's and keeping them for several decades. Due to their unique psychic link, Carol receives a vision of Danger coming to Alpha Flight after Rogue and Synapse leave and killing everyone. And after "Civil War II" we know Carol believes in visions. Carol is so mentally stunned she lashes out against Rogue. Members of Alpha Flight battle Rogue too believing she caused Carol to freak out. The battle is stopped by Danger who used the weakened state of the heroes to stab Carol through the chest and escape with Rogue.
When Rogue wakes up she's in an old Danger Room bunker and Danger basically explains they are going to fight over and over until Danger has all the information she needs. But "What a Twist" as Rogue becomes Alpha Flight member Aurora and Rogue, Captain Marvel, and Alpha Flight bust in. Rogue reveals she tapped into Moonstar's illusion powers to make Aurora look like her, then used Elixir's powers to cure Captain Marvel, and then used Alpha Flight's tracking tech to find them. They fight, Danger gets wrecked, and Rogue is halfway out of powers and it's only been three days. The next day, Cable delivers a device containing DNA samples off all the X-Men he could contact, and even a few he didn't think were good guys anymore. This gives Rogue a type of Rolodex of mutant powers to recharge from. Captain Marvel and Alpha Flight give Rogue and Synapse a space ship, coordinates to The Royals, and offer to study Danger for whatever programming led her down this path.
So what now? Will The Inhumans help Rogue? Who programmed Danger to be a mutant-killing machine? Will she reactivate? Will Rogue survive the next twenty-something days? I don't know, haven't given it further thought, but I think this type of book would really help The X-Men in general. You'll notice this story involves characters other than The X-Men, but current X-Men books are pretty segregated to mutant-only characters. If any character is going to represent mutant-kind and be a bridge between mutants and non-mutants it should be Rogue. Being able to absorb anybody's abilities and knowledge basically makes Rogue a encyclopedia of individuals. And I like the idea of giving Rogue so much power she's like a mutant Superman. It's all these powers and the rules of them and her time limit that makes her story much more compelling than any other current X-Men. And upon further story-telling Rogue could easily become the most important mutant of our era. Move over, Logan. Rogue is the top-dog now.
Thanks for reading.

Strange Facts

Are you a fan of The Sorcerer Supreme? Well, here are One Dozen Doctor Strange Facts!

1. Before the creation of Doctor Strange, Stan Lee and Jack Kirby created a character named Doctor Droom in 1961. When Dr. Strange was created two years later, Stan admits he completely forgot about Drood and figured Strange was just a better version of the previous character. Despite that, Doctor Drood-renamed Doctor Druid to dodge confusion with Doctor Doom-remained a character in the Marvel Universe.

2. Seeing as how the character premiered in the series "Strange Tales", Stan wanted the character to have the word "Strange" in his name. He almost decided on "Mr." before remembering he already had a character named Mr. Fantastic. Keeping with trend of alliteration, Stan named the character Doctor Stephen Strange.

3. When writing Doctor Strange stories, Stan Lee would pull mythological names from other Marvel stories to establish Marvel's own pantheon of mystic beings. For example: One of Strange's most used spells is "The Crimson Bands of Cyttorak". Cyttorak is the ancient being trapped within The Juggernaut's crystal.

4. Due to Stan's writing and Steve Ditko's surreal and vivid landscapes many readers assumed the two were high on drugs as college students claimed to have similar visions when under the influence. Writer Roy Thomas later clarified that nobody at Marvel did drugs. Stan Lee has recalled on several occasions how during trips to college campuses, students would ask him which religion or mythology he was borrowing from, but Stan insisted he wasn't drawing inspiration from those sources. Just as his version of Norse mythology was not directly based on it's source material.

5. Doctor Strange has been a member of many Marvel teams such as the original Defenders, The Illuminati, both The Avengers and The New Avengers, and The Midnight Sons with characters like Blade and Ghost Rider.

6. In the 1970's, Steve Eaglehart and Frank Brunner wrote a Doctor Strange story in which "God" was involved. Stan Lee saw this issue and ordered the men to redact the mentioning of "God" and replace it with "a God" claiming the company could take heavy flack from religious leaders. Eaglehart and Brunner wrote a fake letter under the made-up identity of a Texas minister and praised the issue and sent it to Marvel. Believing it to be real, Marvel did not redact the mentioning of "God" and even printed the fake letter in the back of the book.

7. The Vishanti are a trinity of the most powerful mystical beings to come from Earth. They are ancient, all-knowing, and benevolent. They consist of Hoggoth, Oshtur, and Agamotto. Agamotto was Earth's very first Sorcerer Supreme and protected the world from inter-dimensional threats. In his passing to the afterlife, Agamotto left his eye as a mystical object to aid his successors. When Stephan was first training to be the next Sorcerer Supreme, his teacher was The Ancient One-Sorcerer Supreme of that time. His competition for the role was fellow mystics like Baron Mordo and even Doctor Doom. Alternate versions of Merlin, Tony Stark, and The Punisher have been Sorcerer Supreme. After "Civil War" Doctor Strange deemed himself unworthy of the title as he avoided the confrontation when he could have been a voice of reason. He passed the mantle to Brother Voodoo, another sorcerer spun out of the title "Strange Tales".

8. The recently created character Gwenpool comes from a universe very similar to our own in which The Marvel Universe is fictional. When she asks Doctor Strange to take her to her home dimension to grab her forms of identification, Dr. Strange learns that the actor Benedict Cumberbatch is playing him on film and seems pleased with that.

9. Doctor Strange's supporting cast and location are hold-overs from the more classic stories of superheroes. His original love interest Clea is the niece of his greatest foe Dormammu, his servant Wong essentially fills the role of Alfred, and his base of operations The Sanctum Sanctorum acts as a portable home that can be placed anywhere on Earth. The Sanctum has also been under the control of other Sorcerer Supremes and once used an illusion to convince people Dr. Strange left it behind and it was to be replaced by a Starbucks.

10. In the main universe Doctor Strange was a neurosurgeon, in the world of 1602 he was a physician for Queen Elizabeth, in "Age of X" he poses as a mutant-hunter, in Amalgam Comics we was fused with DC's Doctor Fate and Professor X to become Doctor Strangefate. In the series "Bulletpoints" Strange becomes an agent of SHIELD in return for them fixing his hands and outfitting them with claws similar to Wolverine. In Howard the Duck's homeworld, he is Ducktor Strange a drunken Sorcerer Supreme who lives in an alleyway. In "Marvel Zombies" he is one of the last heroes to become infected and, as an undead sorcerer, is limited to two spells. In "Mutant X" Stephan became Man-Thing. In Spider-Ham's world, Stephan is Croctor Strange the crocodile sorcerer. In the "Ultimate Universe" Doctor Stephan Strange Junior was the son of Dr. Strange Senior. Senior seemed to be an almost exact replica of main universe Dr. Strange, but his son was not a Doctor and was barely a sorcerer, narrowly saving the day by using unexpected spells. Strange Junior used his position to become a celebrity, and both he and his father used the term "Sorcerer Supreme" as a self-imposed title.

11. One of Doctor Strange's future disciples was an extra-dimensional being named Krugarr. That version of Doctor Strange was killed by Dormammu, leaving Krugarr The New Sorcerer Supreme, his student Talon, and The Guardians of The Galaxy to destroy the evil being together.

12. Through an adventure with The Punisher we learn Doctor Strange is not opposed to using modern day firearms when put in a jam. In one of Strange's best regarded stories "Doctor Strange: The Oath" he is shot in the stomach with-what seems to be-an old, yet average pistol. When his body is looked over by Night Nurse, Wong, and Strange's own astral projection, they discover the gun used on him was the same gun that Adolph Hitler killed himself with, meaning the weapon was charged with "negative energy". This created an underutilized weakness for Doctor Strange, the idea that a weapon used to kill ones own self-and not simply the lives of others-could breach all his magical defenses.

Thanks for reading!

TOT: The Latvarian Shakedown

Anyone remember that one time Luke Cage shook Doctor Doom down for money?

The 1970's was a weird era for comic books. Like, the 50's and 60's nonsense like Batman fighting aliens and Superman splitting himself into two people was excusable because of the times, but by the 1970's it seemed as if comics were trying to become relevant pieces of pop culture. Kung-Fu movies had become popular in the US and so characters like Iron Fist and Shang-Chi were invented, spy movies were also pretty big so Nick Fury got his title. Blaxploitation had become popular and so Marvel's creators Archie Goodwin, John Romita Jr., and George Tuska created a new Black superhero for the era. Luke Cage: Power Man and Hero For Hire. It was a pretty simple concept, a black man who reformed from crime is framed and thrown in prison, he volunteers for a special project with the hopes he'd be released early, this man gets superpowers as a result of the project and accidentally murders someone and is forced to escape the prison and change his name. Now as "Luke Cage", the man returns to the streets of Harlem to clean up his neighborhood and become a local legend. Marvel Comics is well-renowned for their street-level heroes like Daredevil, The Punisher, and even Spider-Man to some regard, so the creation of a street-level hero who could appeal to the African-American audience was welcomed. Especially when Marvel's other Black heroes like Black Panther and Storm were Black, but not American. Luke Cage provided an outlook and a moral code unseen in comic books, he did what he did for money, but never crossed a line he wasn't comfortable with. He was his own boss and a figure respected by even the likes of Captain America and Thor.
Now, how the hell did Doctor Doom-King of Latvaria, technological genius, master sorcerer, and foe of the entire Marvel pantheon-owe Cage money? Well, Luke was hired for a case involving a Latvarian robot and when the case was finished Luke expected to meet up with his employer. His employer-Doctor Doom-quickly fled into his limo and left the country. Luke Cage-determined to get his payment-broke into The Baxter Building and demanded to take The Fantastic Four's flying craft The Fantasticar. He knew the Four had the coordinates to Latvaria and-knowing how much of a pain in the ass Doom has been to them-he knew they'd agree to let him borrow the craft.
When he got to Latavaria, Luke charged through Doom's castle tossing guards like paper airplanes along the way. When he finally got to Dr. Doom, Luke demanded his money, honey. Doctor Doom is stunned, "You came all the way here for that? A poultry $200! Are you crazy" Doom remarked. The two of them fight and-because it's the 70's and not every Marvel writer was riding Dr. Doom's joystick-Doom is equally matching Cage. The fight it interrupted by an alien known as The Faceless One who tries to Dr. Doom over a prior engagement. Luke presents his greatest superpower: Not letting some bulls*** get in the way of getting his money. Luke helps Doom defeat the alien and Doom shows his gratitude by paying him the $200 dollars and giving him a quick escape route from the castle.
Doctor Doom and Luke Cage are rarely put in the same room, but this story of Doctor Doom being shocked and later impressed by Cage's determination to get what was offered to him is pretty cool. While it is hilarious to see Cage treat Doom like a common punk, you have to respect the lengths he went to, the things he had to do and put up with, and then having to whip the butt of some Faceless One nonsense? Cage deserved twice of what Doom promised him after that. Or, I dunno, maybe name a town after him? Cage City? Lukesberg? Hmm.
Thanks for reading!

Too Lame To Die

Not every member of The Suicide Squad is a Hot Topic wardrobe waiting to happen. Some Squadlings are below the rest. Here are The Panel Biter's Top 10 Weirdest Suicide Squad Members.

10. Chemo

As if it weren't obvious, Chemo is a giant monster made out of chemical waste. Every time I've seen this guy he's either trashing a city or being punched by someone smaller and stronger than him, but it's hard to imagine him being on Amanda Waller's prisoner list. I mean this guy literally oozes toxic chemicals, it has to be impossible to put him in a cell let alone put a bomb in his head. The only reason he's number ten is because Chemo makes a great Hail Mary Play. A giant radioactive monster? Great distraction. And just the fact that Waller got him is pretty impressive. The US government has nukes, she has Chemo.

9. Multi-Man 

Here's another odd ball. Multi-Man has the ability to achieve a new superpower every time he dies. Like the power of thigh waxing. Or the immunity to hair growth. Like I'm not one to talk. Seriously though, every time he dies-whether it be murder or suicide (wink)-he comes back to life with a different superpower. That's a pretty awesome power when you think about it. He can't really die, and if you kill him you won't know what to expect when he's revived. It's like he's a Swiss-Army Knife version Kenny from South Park. Swiss-Army-Kenny. Truly a wild card for Waller's deck. Ooh, a Suicide Squad cardgame? I think I have a Pitch-It to work on!

8. Sportsmaster

Okay, you might have actually seen this guy. On "Young Justice" The Sportsmaster was the father of Artemis and a sports-themed mercenary. He was like a Blue Collar Deathstroke! And yeah he was pretty cool, but he was only that cool because the writers of that show had to do something to this lame as a limp shrimp loser! Sports equipment used by Sporty include baseball bats, Olympic javelins and shot put balls, tennis rackets, golf clubs, and even-perish the thought-twin pistols. Well, archery is a sport and his daughter in "Young Justice" was a sidekick of Green Arrow so it would make total sense to make him a Green Arrow villain, right? What? Green Lantern!? Wait, Golden Age Green Lantern!? With the magic ring!? Batting above his weight class, huh? Casey Jones would love this guy.

7. Javelin

Remember how I mentioned Sportsmaster used javelins sometimes? Imagine if that's all he had. Enter Javelin. He uses javelins. He eats, sleeps, breaths, and bathes in javelins. He isn't proficient in any other form of combat except for the use of javelins. You know, I'd call this guy a useless version of Captain Boomerang, but Captain Boomerang is already pretty useless. Honestly, if you have Deadshot-who ultimately is still a guy with guns-you don't really need guys with specific throwing tools. This German Booster Gold cosplayer has javelins that are special made to house explosives and electricity generators and toxic liquids and many more goodies. These javelins can also be extended from a baton-size to a full staff. Actually, if Red Robin passively mentioned getting his bo staff technology from this guy he might have been number eight.

6. Slipknot

He can climb anything. He can climb. Any. Thing. Superman? He can climb that. The mountain high enough? He can climb that. That other mountain that you'll always wanna make move? You betcha he can climb that. Slipknot is the villain of Firestorm, a hero who can rearrange molecules and turn dirt into diamond and water into liquid nitrogen. What can Slipknot do to defend himself from being turned into a velvet rug? He can climb anything-as we established-and he has unbreakable ropes. Okay, I guess having an unbreakable weapon-specific as it is to be proficient in ropes-could be useful. I mean they aren't boomerangs or javelins, but I guess-wait. His ropes are unbreakable because he drenches them in a liquid that makes them unbreakable. Dude! Just soak some armor in that stuff! Or- hell, if it ain't poisonous-dip yourself in it, moron! Of all the tools, weapons, and equipment you can make last forever without a chance of breaking you pick a rope! Christ, if it wasn't your unbreakable bondage gear that made me hate your Brazzers-membership ass it's those holes in your suit. What, you get sweat armpits or something!? Join the club, Cliffhanger!

5. The Penguin

Why did Amanda Waller recruit The Penguin? He's The Penguin. Even Batman doesn't bother with The Penguin. When he isn't strapping bombs to the backs of penguins he's just lounging around in his Iceberg Lounge. Is it the trick umbrellas? They better be unbreakable, that's all I'm saying. Maybe it's The Penguin's fortune. His family was among the elites of Gotham City, just like the Wayne Family. Then again Penguin loses that money a lot on account of all those penguin-related crimes of his. Plus, Task Force X is already funded by the U.S. government. Hmm. Maybe it's his connections to the criminal underworld. He can get Waller into places too dirty for even Mr. Sweaty-Pits to climb into. Then again (again) I don't think you'd need to recruit this guy or stick a bomb in his head to get that passage. Maybe pay him or erase his record or threaten to blow his head up later. In fact, The Suicide Squad gets his help in "Batman: Assault on Arkham" without having to even recruit him. You remember that animated movie, right? The only Suicide Squad film worth watching?

4. Twister

Is she considered art? Like, I know she's a drawing already, but given her-you know-I find her reminiscent of one of those weirdly-faced painting those Italian guys would create. This Match.com member is Twister and she used to be the loyal disciple of Brother Blood. Maybe too loyal. You may remember Brother Blood from that "Teen Titans" cartoon as some twisted (sorry) school teacher, but in the comics he was a cult leader. Brother Blood fooled Twister into believing he loved her and experimented on her, giving her psychic powers. Unfortunately, a side-effect of the experiments left her mind as twisted as her face. Which is to say "Damn, girl! You got a twisted-ass face". At least she wasn't born like that, more a chance she has usable profile pictures. Twister was ultimately left for dead by Brother Blood-like a Brother do-and she was picked up by Waller. I guess having psychic powers can be pretty useful. "Pretty" being used lightly.

3. James Gordon Jr.

Don't adjust your reading-balls, this is-in fact-the son of Commissioner James Gordon. See, while Barbara Gordon would have a terrific career as Batgirl and Oracle, her brother's history is a bit more disturbing. More disturbing than being shot and stripped by The Joker? Maybe not that disturbing. In Frank Millar's "Batman: Year One", a criminal uses James as a hostage when he is only a few weeks old. Jim Gordon tries to grab his son back, but he only sends the baby and the criminal toppling down the side of a bridge. Batman saves James Jr., but in later stories it's revealed James Jr. never really psychologically recovered. Even though he was only a few weeks old so that trauma wouldn't really register for him. As a young adult James became a serial killer and a constant threat to his own family. When he joined The Suicide Squad as a consultant he was treated like a free-to-roam Hannibal Lector. Oh, and he was in love with Amanda Waller. Much to her disturbance. Not because he was a psychopathic serial killer who dismembered a childhood bully of his and hid him in his basement. No, she was disturbed because he was way to young for her. On a lighter note, his sister Barbara would also assist the Suicide Squad after she became the crippled superhero-help-line Oracle. Wait, a crippled assault-victim helping a government black-ops team with "Suicide" in it's name. Maybe that's not as bright as I'd like to be.

2. The Joker's Daughter

You know, I used to think Harley Quinn was a useless member of The Suicide Squad. She doesn't have any powers, she can do stuff with guns and melee weapons that any trained soldier can do. Yeah she's a gymnast and a psychologist, but I've realized her true superpower is actually a power that Dick Grayson had when he was Robin. She's a brightly colored, loud-mouthed living target that can't be hit. She's a distraction with an attractive figure and a lot to say and I guess that can help in certain situations. The Joker's Daughter, on the other hand, is useless. Completely useless. I've complained about this Harley Quinn rough draft before, but the fact that she was put on a Suicide Squad with Harley Quinn-who is just doing what she does but better-is freaking ridiculous. And good god is she inconsistent! One week she's a tech wiz, next week she can cast resurrection rituals, the week after that she has Joker Toxin. And you would think being "the daughter of The Joker" would mean she'd obsess over Harley Quinn, but no she's just jealous someone older, hotter, and more relevant is already doing her bit. And yeah, putting a psychiatrist in the middle of a war field is pretty dumb, but putting a teenage cosplayer out there is just damn stupid. I mean, is Amanda Waller trying to get this 60's concept that should have died in the 60's killed? If she is, Amanda Waller may be the greatest superhero in the DC Universe.

1. The Writer

Grant Morrison. The writer of the 2000 run of "X-Men", "Batman RIP", "Multiversity" and much, much more, is a member of The Suicide Squad under the alias of "The Writer". The Writer first appears in Morrison's run on "Animal Man" in the late 80's as the physical representation of Morrison himself. See, a bunch of a awful stuff had been happening to Animal Man so he tracked down the person responsible and found The Writer. According to The Writer, Animal Man is fictional and is being read by people across the real world and his life had to be ruined in order for the book to be more interesting. Animal Man claims The Writer has no right to-oh forget it. Grant Morrison got high and decided it would be totally awesome for him to show up in his own comic and talk to the title character and be all mysterious and powerful and stuff. He did this because Grant Morrison is Grant Morrison and there's nothing deeper about it. After The Writer came into existence he realized he was stuck in the DC Universe and came to the realization that the real Morrison wasn't writing him anymore. Ultimately feeling lost, he asserted himself into The Suicide Squad and died during a mission. How could a being so powerful he can reshape reality with a pen and a notebook be so easily killed? Two words: WRITER'S BLOCK.
The Suicide Squad can be cool. They can be lame. But more often than not, The Suicide Squad can be stupid as hell. I blame Harley Quinn. If it weren't for her The Suicide Squad would be as obscure as The Guardians of The Galaxy. And we all know how they turned out.
Thanks for reading.
Yo, John Ostrander! When you gonna write the Squad again!? Hit me up! @ThePanelBiter

Harley Facts

Are you a fan of Harley Quinn? Well, we got One Dozen Harley Facts for ya!

1. Harley Quinn was created by Paul Dini and Bruce Timm for "Batman: The Animated Series" back in 1992 in an episode called "Joker's Favor". Dini's inspiration behind Harley Quinn was an uneasy relationship his female friend experienced.

2. Dini's friend Arleen Sorkin was starring on a show called "Days of Our Lives" and had a sequence in which she wore a jester costume. Sorkin's character and jester costume also inspired Harley's design. Sorkin would go on to voice Harley Quinn through three seasons of the show until Tara Strong voiced Harley in season four.

3. The original design for Harley Quinn sported a red and black diamond dress. Dini and Timm agreed to go over the design again and use a simpler, more slimming design. Original design here: http://ifanboy.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Batman-Animated-1998.jpg

4. Harley Quinn's civilian name is Harleen Quinzel, a name The Joker mentioned sounded like "Harlequin". The Harlequin was originally a comedic, witty, trickster character portrayed in Italian plays in the 1500's. During the 17th Century in England, the role of the Harlequin was an act partnered with a Clown. While the Clown was a more brutal and harsh role, the Harlequin was more sophisticated and romantic. One could guess this pair's behavior was the influence behind Harley Quinn and The Joker.

5. Dini admitted that Harley Quinn was supposed to be a "walk-on" character, a simple sidekick for The Joker. However, both Dini and the audiences loved Harley's character so much she took on a more prominent role in the show. This popularity would reemerge when she appeared in the 2009 game "Batman: Arkham Asylum". In that appearance Sorkin returned for the voice role while Tara Strong took over in the game's sequels. In 2011, Harley was added to The New 52 incarnation of The Suicide Squad. This addition brought the Squad to a new level of popularity, further pushed by their film in 2016 where Harley was played by Margot Robbie.

6. In 2002, there was a short-lived television series based on The Birds of Prey-Oracle, Huntress, and Black Canary. In this show, both Batman and The Joker were rumored to be dead and Harley Quinn had taken The Joker's place as a crime lord. During the day Harley was a psychiatrist, but at night she used her mind control powers-granted through experimental metahuman chemicals-to slowly take over Gotham City. Harley was played by Sherilyn Fenn in the unreleased pilot episode and then by Mia Sara in the actual series.

7. Mark Protosevich was asked by Warner Bros. to write a sequel to "Batman & Robin" in the late 90's. In this sequel, Scarecrow, Man-Bat, and Harley Quinn would have made appearances. Harley would've been rewritten to be the daughter of The Joker seeking revenge over his death in "Batman" circa 1989. A popular rumor was that the studio wanted music artist Madonna to play Harley Quinn.

8. Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy kicked-off a successful friendship during the animated series. It was a case of a more mature, more man-savvy woman (Ivy) helping a fragile and unlucky-in-love friend (Harley). In 2013, writers/married couple Amanda Connor and Jimmy Palmiotti began writing a Harley Quinn solo series where Ivy became a series regular. It was confirmed there that Harley and Ivy are not only friends, but lovers. Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, and Catwoman were also paired up in the series "Gotham City Sirens".

9. For the 2013 series, DC Comics held a contest for fans to submit their drawings of one of four images of Harley Quinn stating the drawings would featured in the book's "First Issue: Director's Cut". The fourth image fans were asked to draw was a scene of Harley Quinn naked in a bathtub preparing to drop a toaster in the water. There was a large controversy about this scene because it not only sexualized a suicide attempt, but the contest was announced around the same time as National Suicide Prevention Week.

10. Alongside her solo book, Harley got her several spin-off series as well. "Harley Quinn & Power Girl" was a self-explanatory series following the two character's friendship, one established by Connor and Palmiotti because the two wrote a Power Girl series back in the mid-2000's. "Harley's Little Black Book" was a series of team-up stories where Harley teamed up with characters like Wonder Woman, The Green Lantern, Lobo, and even alternate versions of herself from "Batman: The Animated Series" and "DC Bombshells". "Harley Quinn & Her Gang of Harley's" followed Harley Quinn and a bunch of her groupies fighting crime. Her solo series also got plenty of special one-shots like a Scratch & Sniff special, a ComicCon special, and holiday specials for Valentine's Day and Christmas. Despite the latter story, some versions of Harley Quinn claim to be Jewish.

11. In the world of "Injustice", Harley reveals that she has a four-year-old daughter named Lucy who's father was The Joker. In the post-story Easter Egg of "Batman: Arkham City" is it hinted that version of Harley Quinn had either gotten pregnant by The Joker or had a miscarriage. 

12. In 1976, a character calling herself The Joker's Daughter appear in "Batman Family #6" and was a foe for Robin to face. She claimed to be the child of either The Joker, Catowoman, The Penguin, Scarecrow, or The Riddler until finally revealing herself to be Two-Face's daughter. Despite her heritage she continued to go by "The Joker's Daughter" and joined The Teen Titans. The character would be reworked both in the 2000's and in 2014, to little success. For whatever reason the character was also added to The Suicide Squad where she and Harley Quinn came to blows over "who's the real Joker girl".

Thanks for reading.

TOT: Ms. Marvel's Baby-Daddy

Remember that one time Ms. Marvel gave birth to her rapist?

Okay, so there is no dancing around this, but I'll try to provide context to an otherwise awful story. In 1980, The Avengers had gotten their 200th issue and received a plus-sized, special issue written by some of Marvel's top men. Editor-and-chief Jim Shooter, legendary artist George Perez, and big name writers Bob Layton and David Michelinie who were best known for their work on "Iron Man". In this super-special issue of "The Avengers", Carol Danvers/Ms. Marvel is pregnant despite not hooking up with anyone recently. Rather than investigate or worry about her or suspect she could have been kidnapped and drugged or something the Avengers eagerly await Carol's child! Too eagerly, I might add. With both The Wasp and Beast offering to babysit and the other Avengers making cribs and buying toys. 

Now, a normal pregnancy takes about nine months. But in the realm of comic books nine months is like ten years, so she gives birth in three days. You think her pregnancy sped by fast? Well, get this: the baby grows into a man in less than a day. Yes, this man-calling himself Marcus-reveals himself to be the result of a prior relationship between Ms. Marvel....and himself. What? Oh, meanwhile dinosaurs and pirates and medieval knights are attacking New York City. Hawkeye-in his infinite wisdom-suspects Marcus could be behind it. Oh really, Clint? What gave you that idea? The fact that he's growing up faster than a kid from the Disney Channel or that weird machine he's been building in Avengers Mansion since he was a toddler!? Yeah, Marcus has been building a machine. And The Avengers-either too stupid or too far up their own asses-accept his constant lies and distractions. Hawkeye confronts Marcus about the machine and all the time mumbo-jumbo while everyone is in the room and we get the reveal you've all been waiting for.

First of all, Marcus is actually the son of Immortus. Not what you were waiting for? Hold on. Immortus is the future version of Kang The Conqueror, time-traveling foe of The Avengers. That's not it either? Alright, let's cut to the chase. Marcus was from another dimension and knew of only one way to truly leave it. He used the power from Immortus' machine to warp to Avengers Mansion a few days ago, kidnap Ms. Marvel, and pop back into his dimension. While captured, Carol was brainwashed into believing the two of them were in love. She was then impregnated and "the essence" of Marcus was embedded into her. He then dropped her back on Earth immediately after and-because of silly science-fiction "time moves differently here" logic-it had only been a few minutes after she was kidnapped. This allowed him machine-energy-free passage from his dimension to ours.

So-for clarity-Marcus' dimension was at risk of destruction and there were other beings living there. All Marcus had was a machine his father Immortus left there, so he used it's power to kidnap, brainwash, and knock up Carol just so he could rebuild it in our world. He did all this because having the machine in our world could stabilize his, but destroy our world in the process. So he's, like, redeemed and stuff. But no. Hawkeye destroys the machine and Marcus agrees to go back to his world and just fix it himself, but Carol offers to join him. Yes, Carol joins her rapist, telling her friends that she still has some feelings for Marcus and feels close to him. "Him" being her rapist/son/kidnapper. And so she leaves never to be seen again.

Okay, so Ms. Marvel was brought back almost immediately because people hated this story. People hate this story to this day. Every fan of Carol Danvers laments this story, it's the absolute worst thing that's ever happened to the character. It's like her "All-Star Batman & Robin The Boy Wonder" or her "One More Day", it's just an example of what writers can get away with when they don't think of the consequences. Chris Claremont-writer of The X-Men from the 70's to the 90's-hated the story so much he brought Ms. Marvel back in the pages of "X-Men" and returns her to Earth. Sure she is almost instantly drained of her powers and life force by Rogue, thus giving Rogue the powers of super strength and flight she's been known for having for the past thirty years while Ms. Marvel fell into obscurity until the early 2000's. But she returned none the less.

It must really bite Marvel in the ass now because of how Carol's been pushed in recent years. In 2010 she became Captain Marvel, in 2015 she led A-Force, then she led The Ultimates, now she leads Alpha Flight, and in a few years she'll be getting her own film. A film-mind you-set in the 90's, featuring both The Kree and The Skrulls, and exploring the early career of Nick Fury! All of that and all that came before and now this little blemish on her story. As if alcoholism and getting her powers through the involvement of a man wasn't enough to distance herself from the "Wonder Woman" comparison, this obscene, thoughtless, disgusting display of mishandling will forever besmirch her. While this event cannot be forgotten, we must look towards the future for Captain Marvel and hope that the better moments of the character can shine brighter than the darkest day in Carol Danvers' history.

Thanks for reading.

What If The DC Universe...

You know, with all the split-opinions surrounding DC Comic's films recently, and all the upcoming film news like a "Flashpoint" film and Ben Affleck possibly leaving the Batman role and all that crap, I take a lot of pride in knowing this blog isn't all about "THE STATE OF THE SUPERHERO GENRE". Sometimes, to forget our favorite DC heroes are in jeopardy, we need to lay back and ask: What If The DC Universe Was Part of Dragonball Super's Universe Survival Arc.

I guess now is a good a time as any to admit to you readers that I-the guy who bites panels-loves Dragonball. The original, Z, and Super. GT is digestible, I guess. This past year alone I've been trying to up by DB fandom by buying the new Xenoverse game and "Dragonball Fusions". I haven't been watching the anime religiously, but I read about it and watch reviews when I have time and-by far-the most interesting thing to happen to the franchise is the newest arc in Super. The premise is that Goku and his friends have to form a ten-man team to compete in a tournament for the fate of their universe. Eight universe, ten fighters each, last universe standing is the only universe. I don't cross the comic and manga/anime streams often, but the concept of The Universal Survival Arc had me thinking. If the DC Universe was to put together the strongest fighters they have for the survival of everything, who would be on there?

A few rules: The selected characters can be good, evil, or indifferent, but they need to be convinced to participate. We're looking at power so don't expect to see Batman on this list. The characters involved cannot use weapons, so no Lanterns. And finally if you're a diehard DC fan and you think I missed an obvious choice, well, that's what the comment section is for. Now then, my ten fighters for the DCU!

10. Plastic Man

Definitely the least likely of universal saviors. Plastic Man isn't exactly a born fighter, or a strategist, or even intimidating, but if he is anything he is persistent. Plastic Man is almost invincible. You punch him, he bounces back. You shoot him, he bounces back. You try to melt his brain? He moves his brain. His entire body is elastic, malleable, and self-recovering. All the times he's been melted, frozen, shattered or split, he comes back from it with only mild trauma. While any Green Lantern is respectable for their creativity in battle, Plastic Man can shapeshift into various shapes and tools without a power source. His sense of humor and potential destructive abilities make Plastic Man a wild card that plays well with other cards.

9. Etrigan The Demon

While Jason Blood is an immortal knight, his alter ego Etrigan The Demon is a beast to behold. With strength and endurance comparable to Superman, Etrigan also carries hell-fire, demonic spells, and a sexual thrill from pain. Guys like Superman and Batman have noted how dangerous Etrigan is, and any time the Demon becomes too dangerous it's usually up to the Earth's mightiest heroes to stop him. Having roots in magic and the supernatural makes Etrigan very veritable and unpredictable. His only weakness would be getting tricked into reverting into Jason Blood, and even then all he needs is his mouth. He can even spell out the magic poem to become The Demon again.

8. Captain Atom

Captain Atom is a soldier, so points to the whole "modern warrior" thing. His skin is actually an alien metal that is almost unbreakable. And his ability to manipulate any form of energy known to man is godlike. He can time travel, fly, enhance his strength, blast radioactivity, nuclear energy, he can alter temperatures, and rearrange atoms. Remember Doctor Manhattan from "Watchman"? Well, he was based off Captain Atom. If Cap could reach those levels of power, his chances among the fighters would skyrocket.

7. The Martian Manhunter

Underappreciated? Yes. Overpowered? Hell, yeah! The Martian Manhunter is veteran Justice Leaguer, a cultivation of Superman's power and Batman's intelligence, and a vessel of untapped rage over the loss of his people. Super strength and speed, flight, shapeshifting, invisibility, intangibility, heat vision, telekinesis, telepathy, and more psychic abilities. Thanks to his ability to alter his body he can adapt to any fight or location, he can recover from any blow, and with his telepathy he can predict every movement. Even in the face of death he had the forethought to split himself into five people, make the other four people believe themselves to be other people and have lives unrelated to himself, erase his own memory, and then fuse the four people together to recreate himself. Crazy, I know! With only fire being his big weakness, I think it's a small price to pay for this powerhouse.

6. Swamp Thing

Protector of The Green and Earth itself. Swamp Thing is not good or evil, he just wants to protect nature, man. So for the benefit of nature he'd quickly involve himself. Swamp Thing can create doubles of himself, manipulate the land around him even if it's an alien landscape, he can regenerate and create pollen, vines, thorns, and roots to grasp his foes. He can alter his size and appearance and his mystical ties give him an advantage against science-based enemies. More than anything, Swamp Thing's ability to integrate with any form of vegetation gives him the home field advantage wherever he ends up.

5. Black Adam

Imbued with the stamina of Shu, the swiftness of Heru, the strength of Amon, the wisdom of Zehuti, the power of Aton, and the courage of Mehen, Black Adam is a tyrant to be feared. Once a weak slave, Adam was given power by the wizard Shazam and quickly freed his people and ruled over then shortly after. If Adam's god-infused powers and sheer devastating strength isn't enough, his powers give him enhanced intellect and his own experience of being alive since ancient Egypt gives him an unmatched sense of "being around the block a few times". His position as a leader and imposer certainly gives him the edge one-on-one, but in a group setting he'd find it easier to delegate.

4. Shazam

Billy Batson is but a mere boy, but as Captain Mar-err, I mean-as Shazam he is the mightiest mortal on Earth! Matching Black Adam, Superman, The Martian Manhunter and many other heavy hitters, Shazam comes packing a can-do attitude and a sense of righteousness that even a villain can admire. With the wisdom of Solomon, the strength of Hercules, the stamina of Atlas, the power of Zeus, the courage of Achilles, and the speed of Mercury, Shazam has the entire Greek/Roman pantheon on his side. Shazam-like Black Adam-can manipulate lightning and make use of magic, even being able to conjure items from thin air! Whereas Black Adam's role as a leader makes him a physical and mental threat, Shazam's edge is his ability to predict people. Black Adam sees himself as a God, but Billy knows he's only human and being able to predict someone's behavior based on a few words here and there could give Shazam a peek into his opponent's psyche.

3. The Flash

Barry Allen, The Fastest Man Alive. Of all The Flashes, Barry is the fastest, the most experienced, and is more in tune with The Speed Force. Now, the Speed Force is a power source specific to the DC Universe so if this hypothetical tournament were to be outside the DCU, The Flash would be basically running on a battery. In-universe The Speed Force is unlimited, out-of-universe The Flash only has so long until the connection is cut. It's a risky move, but when you have a man who can create thunder blasts and whirlwinds, alter the movement of objects in a nanosecond, vibrate through solid objects, rearrange molecules, think faster than a super computer, move faster than anything in existence, rewind time, and outrun Death!? That's a risk worth taking.

2. Wonder Woman

The greatest fighter on Earth. No joke. Batman can learn all the Judo he wants and Wonder Woman, Princess Diana of Themyscira will always best the best there is. Having fought Gods, monsters, and the evilest of mankind, Wonder Woman's resume is well documented. A member of The Justice League and The Trinity, occasional leader of her people The Amazons, and an idol for women everywhere, Wonder Woman is a symbol of truth and strength. Even without her signature weapons, she has her strength, speed, flight, and fighting experience to aid her. Not to mention her status as a Demigod, with that she can tap into the power of her father Zeus and become even stronger. As if that were enough she has one last superpower: She never gives up. Never!

1. Superman

Duh. Strong enough to break planets, fast enough to tap Barry on the shoulder, died and came back in three weeks, incinerated an army of Doomsdays, lobotomized man, monster, and alien with heat vision, blew comets out of the sky, froze burning buildings in a breath, flew fast enough to destroy hurricanes, built an exact replica of a machine a century in the future all by using x-ray vision, super speed, enhanced memory, and super-smarts. Superman has created suns and fed them to Sun-Eaters. Superman isn't just a hero, he's a legend. The legend. And if anyone can save the day it's him. He was designed to. After all, he is the world's first superhero.

So, that's my team. If the DCU needed a group of powerful people to save it from destruction, it would be these men and women. Oh, woman. My bad.

Thanks for reading!

Did I miss anyone? Comment below!