Oh look, Gwen Stacy is headlining her own comic book series as Spider-Gwen/Spider-Woman. Good for her, but is it good for us? We all know Gwen as Peter Parker's first love and the death that motivated Spider-Man to become a better hero, but that's not all there is to it. Loyal readers, today I expose the wretched plot points writers have applied to this blond bombshell and reveal the tainted wings of this angel!
Gwen Stacy has been an important character in Spider-Man history since 1965, appearing in the thirty-first issue of the original "Amazing Spider-Man" comic book. She stood alongside Mary Jane Watson, Harry Osborn, Liz Allen, Flash Thompson and many other supporting characters in the life of Peter Parker. You see, Gwen hit on Peter when Aunt May was ill which made Peter ignore Gwen and she dated Harry and Flash to spite Peter, but it was after Peter first dumped MJ because of her shallowness that he and Gwen began dating, setting up Peter first legitimate relationship and the TV drama of Peter's life. Gwen seemed perfect, right? She was smart, beautiful, humorous, sensitive, she had it all. The only thing Gwen didn't have was a love for Spider-Man. Yes, Gwen didn't know Peter was Spidey, so when Doctor Octopus killed Gwen's father Captain George Stacy, she blamed Spider-Man while she loved Peter. Because he feels guilt for Cap Stacy's death, Peter ignores Gwen's obvious requests for marriage and Gwen vacations to London for a few months. She comes back realizing her mistake and getting back together with Peter. And then The Green Goblin throws her off a bridge, Spider-Man snaps her neck with a web, and we get a scene of Spidey holding Gwen's corpse and shouting, "Noooo".
Look out, a retcon! A 2004 story arc totally blemishes Gwen's character by filling us in on what happened in London. While she was in London, Gwen ran into Norman Osborn, the same man who would go on to become The Green Goblin and kill her. Osborn's "animal magnetism" intrigues Gwen and we find out this nineteen year old spotless gem of a girl had intercourse with a crusty psychotic man. Osborn's weird Goblin DNA causes their illegitimate children to age rapidly, so when she died they were already teenagers. Osborn convinced Gabriel and Sarah Stacy that their father was Peter Parker/Spider-Man and that he killed Gwen Stacy. Anyway Spider-Man defeats the twins and they go away and we find out MJ was the only person Gwen told about this affair and she kept it secret to protect Peter or something. The point is the writer of this arc totally threw Gwen under the bus and ruined her character. Originally this story was supposed to feature Peter being the twin's father, but Marvel Editorial scrapped that idea because having kids would make Spider-Man too old. You know, because teenagers stay the same age for sixty-odd years. You could've at least pinned this on one of Peter's clones.
Speaking of clones! If Gwen being an easily seduced bimbo wasn't enough, the story arc "Clone Genesis" sullied her further. When Gwen and Peter were in college together, they had an elderly professor named Miles Warren who was in love with Gwen and hated Peter. Miles went insane after Gwen died and he created two clones: a clone of Gwen Stacy to bang and a clone of Peter to beat up. But after he discovered the Peter clone had Spider-Man powers, Miles put two and two together. He became The Jackal and sent the Spidey Clone to fight Spider-Man, but the important part is that despite the Gwen Clone dying, Jackal would still have the resources to make as many Gwen clones as he wanted. Pretty sure he sold some as playboy bunnies to Deadpool.
So now you see my dilemma, since first becoming a Spider-Man fan I liked Gwen as a love interest more than MJ, I couldn't stand a character without humility. However no matter how annoying or unlikable as MJ might be, the misuse of Gwen Stacy has ruined her as a character for me. I understand this new Spider-Gwen is from an alternate world, she's younger and able to avoid sleeping with elderly men, but these events have not washed the dirt from her name. Her new comic book and her adaptation by Emma Stone only act has fresh coats of paint to hide the holes and cracks left behind by antagonistic writers. Gwen was ruined, MJ is bipolar, Black Cat is a thief, honestly Spider-Man may just need a Match.com account. Or he could fulfill the prophecy and date Silk, I'm down for whatever. Thanks for reading!
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