With the "Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Wonder Woman Finally Being in a Film" trailer still being fresh on our minds, I thought the perfect Z-Lister to talk about today would be Composite Superman, a DC Comics villain who was literally half Superman, half Batman. Then I realized I already did that. Lets see, who would be Marvel Comic's Composite Superman? Oh! Combo Man!
In 1996, Marvel Comics had made an advertising deal with "Combos" a snack food of the early 90's, this was during Marvel's almost-foreclosure era and they were doing anything they could to stand up on one leg. In a one-shot issue to advertise the snack food, a teenager named Rick Wilder is peer pressured by fellow students into stealing science equipment from his school's lab, but during his theft the lab is broken into by Advanced Ideas Mechanics (AIM) and Rick is tossed into some conveniently unknown chemicals and machinery. In his bag Rick had been carrying a pack of Combos and some Marvel Comic Books, this resulted in the chemical explosion fusing Rick with the characters in the books and becoming Combo Man every time he ate Combos.
HOLD UP!
So Rick has a stack of Marvel Comic Books, right? But he's also attacked by AIM which would suggest he himself lives in the fictional Marvel universe. How does that explain the comic books? Well, during this era of Marvel Comics, it was said Marvel Comics within the Marvel Universe were like history books on the existing heroes.
Combo Man is made up of fourteen Marvel characters and has all their powers, effectively deeming him "OP". If readers of the original comic could name each of the characters correctly they could've won Combo-Man hats, jackets, shirts, toys, and, of course, supplies of the aforementioned snack food. Going from top to bottom here:
The Hulk's Scalp: Because that's his strongest body part, obviously.
Cyclops' Visor: Mutant racism included.
Iron Man's Lower Face & Neck: For easy auto-tune.
Magneto's Shoulder's: With a lovely purple cape!
Punisher's Upper Chest: Punisher isn't bulletproof and you put his portion above the heart!?
Captain America's Lower Chest: His symbol looks like an evil tooth.
Sabretooth's Abs: Effective for flexing!
Carnage's Elbows: Because children love Carnage.
Daredevil's Wrists: Does that mean he's blind and has laser vision?
Spider-Man's Hands: His sticky, sticky hands.
Century's Crotch & Thighs: Who is Century? A man with incredible thighs, apparently.
The Human Torch's Knees: Scraped knees, much?
Silver Surfer's Shins: The most useful superpower on the most forgettable body part.
Dr. Doom's Feet: For stepping on people in Dr. Doom-like fashion.
Clearly, this was one of Marvel Comic's worst ideas. So bad that their successful movie franchise still can't hide the remains of this commercial marketing disaster. The powers and parts don't match up, the physiology is preposterous, and the fact that Marvel was so desperate for cash they lazily made a crappy character driven by Combos to get some people buying on both ends, is something only 90's Marvel Comics could possibly see as smart. Now putting The Avengers in an Attack on Titan manga? Welcome to the new age of Marvel! Thanks for buying our crappy snack foods and Thanks for reading!
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