Thursday, June 29, 2017

TOT: Doc Ock's Coke Plot

Remember that one time Doctor Octopus created a cure for cocaine addiction?
In 1990, writer David Michelinie and artist Erik Larsen began an arc titled "The Return of The Sinister Six" in "The Amazing Spider-Man #334". In this arc, Doctor Octopus got his groove back and quick. After years of beatings served by the likes of Spider-Man, Daredevil, and Captain America, Doc Ock finally got his greasy mitts on some Adamantium. The same metal that laces Wolverine's bones and claws. With indestructible tentacles and a classy, white suit, Doc sought to form a new Sinister Six. There were a few roadblocks: Kraven was dead, The Shocker was a failure, and in the 1990's The Chameleon was kinda lame. Doc recruited Mysterio (The Master of Illusions), Vulture (That old guy in a bird costume who has no right looking that cool in "Spider-Man: Homecoming"), Electro (before he looked like Doctor Manhattan), Sandman (who's actually a good guy, he just forget that sometimes), and Hobgoblin. Why Hobgoblin? Um, it's the 90's. That's why!
Doctor Octopus' plan isn't just to form a geriatric boy-band. No, he plans on stealing and modifying a company satellite to disperse a poison that would kill everyone on Earth. However, he uses this plot as a threat as his true plan becomes clear. Doctor Octopus didn't create a poison. He created a cure. A cure to Cocaine Addiction. Yes, Doc's plan was to create a substance that would cause people to experience extreme convulsions when using cocaine. This would essentially cure addicts through pain. However, Doc's secondary plan would be to release the cure to the world and then collect cash from all the cocaine addicts who want the cure to the cure.
Maybe we should break this down again. First, Doc creates a formula that makes the human body instantly convulse when using cocaine. He releases that to the world. The cocaine addicts who need cocaine, but fear the convulsions must pay Doc for a formula to reverse the cure's effects. That way he would corner the market on cocaine addicts. What the hell!? First of all; you could have just made a death formula and threatened the world like you said you would. Or, I don't know, reverse the formula so everyone on Earth would be addicted? Hell, you have a convulsion formula. Just use that! Pretty sure Hobby uses that on Spidey at some point in the story. So just do that. Whichever plan you go with is just for money anyway. If you have a satellite with a substance you control you can basically hold the whole world hostage. Take over the world why don't you!
Anyway, let's all be thankful Thor stopped him. Yeah, Thor stopped him. Thanks, Blondie.
Thanks for reading.

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