Panel Biter Podcasts

Thursday, August 24, 2017

TOT: Cousin-Lovin'-Kryptonians

Remember that one time Supergirl married Superman?
Cousins. Cousins are kind of weird. They're not as close as brothers or sisters, but they're closer than uncles and aunts. There aren't exactly a lot of notable cousins in comic books, with Superman and Supergirl being the only real pair. And that's cool, I've never gone into detail about it but I like the Superman/Supergirl relationship. She was sent to Earth as a teenager to raise her baby cousin, she gets trapped in orbit, and by the time she arrives she's still a teenager and her baby cousin is a thirty year old man! So there's a reverse of mentoring there, there's family. And with DC Comics they've been really fast and loose on the subject of Superman having family and there being other Kryptonians. After all, how can he be the last of his kind with other Kryptonians here and there?
Well, in 2003 DC Comics was starting to loosen up on that rule. You see, Kara Zor-El died in 1985 in "Crisis on Infinite Earths" and was seemingly forgotten until 1994 when a new Supergirl was introduced-Matrix. She was an invention of Lex Luthor from another dimension, a world where there was no Superman. That version of Lex created this goo creature than could turn into Supergirl. That Supergirl made it into the main universe and in 1996 fused with a teenage girl named Linda Danvers. For more on Matrix check out a link at the bottom of the page.
From one parallel Earth to another, another version of Kara Zor-El found her way the main universe in a story called "Many Happy Returns". This Kara was based off her 50's incarnation and wanted to stay in this universe, trying to be a superhero and a high school student. However, Hal Jordan (previously The Green Lantern, current Spectre) appeared and insisted Kara must die because it was her "fate". Gee, if only DC Comics had a guy who professionalized in fate. Apparently, there is a cosmic entity who just hates Supergirl in general so it wants Kara destroyed. So Linda decides to take Kara's place, allowing Kara to stay in the main universe while Linda goes back to her world and prepares for a premature death. She does this because, well, she's Supergirl.
Linda arrives in Kara's old world and tries to recreate Kara's arrival to Earth, hoping everyone will buy her lie, but that world's version of Superman (who I will refer to as Hick-Superman) immediately knows she's not from Krypton. After explaining her story Hick-Superman comes to sympathize and the two fight crime together. During one of their quieter days, Hick-Superman reveals he is in love with Supergirl. And Supergirl...goes along with it.
Supergirl and Hick-Superman get married and have a child together and live happily ever after until Hal Jordan reappears to put an end to this fanfiction fairy tale by telling Linda the cosmic being that hates Kara found her and took her hostage, and that Linda has disrupted the history of this universe. So Linda makes a deal with Hal: She'll help Hal defeat the cosmic being and undo the changes to this world's history, but Hal cannot erase her and Hick-Superman's daughter from existence. So two Supergirls and The Spectre defeat the cosmic being, Kara Zor-El goes back to her world which has it's clock rewound, and Linda is restored to her previous age and returns to her home dimension. And her daughter? She gets to wonder the cosmos having excellent adventures.
What we have here is a comic book panel that-out of context-is disturbing. What is worse is that when you actually try to explain this panel in detail you bring multiverse theory, time travel, displaced children, and cosmic entities with misplaced hatred into the mix. When we really break it down though Linda Danvers isn't Superman's cousin, neither is Matrix, and Hick-Superman isn't even related to Kara Zor-El from Linda's world because they come from different universes. So why do I still feel uncomfortable with this panel? Even knowing the context, why is it so gross? Maybe I don't like the idea of superheroes hooking up with sidekicks, maybe Supergirl still seems too young, or maybe, just maybe, I can see the stink in the whole thing. I can see a writer thinking to themselves "wouldn't be hot if Supergirl just hooked up with Superman". Then when producing the idea he had to make up excuses as to why it's not creepy. "Different universes! Not related! Doesn't count as incest". That kind of story telling just feels like an excuse to explore darker places of sexuality. And what a way to run out of ideas. Having Supergirl screw Superman? As if the well of ideas wasn't dried up when they hooked him up with Wonder Woman.
Thanks for reading.
For more on Supergirl/Matrix: http://panelbiter.blogspot.com/2015/05/a-gross-imperfection.html

2 comments:

  1. "They're not as close as brothers or sisters, but they're closer than uncles and aunts"

    That's not a good argument, Prince Williamand and Kate Middleton are distant cousins, 6th or 7th, Albert Einstein's parents were 1st cousins and he himself married his cousin. In fact a lot of people married there cousins and had children with no problems.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_WNV4jN-sg4

    ReplyDelete
  2. I wasn’t really making an argument, I was saying cousins are a weird family relation.

    ReplyDelete