Panel Biter Podcasts

Tuesday, July 24, 2018

Sony Bologna (Helping Sony Pictures)

Sony Pictures are doing their damnedest to stay relevant in the superhero movie genre. After being forced to share the movie rights for Spider-Man with their incredibly successful competitor Marvel Studios/Disney, Sony decided to give themselves one more chance at competing when they announced a "Venom" movie. Following that came claims of films based off of Silk, Morbius The Living Vampire, and Black Cat/Silver Sable. As well as an animated Spiderverse film disguised as a Miles Morales movie . I have made it no secret that I hate Sony Pictures, I want them to fail, I want all of Spider-Man's rights to belong to Marvel, and I want Sony to make movies about characters I don't have strong emotional connections to. However, I will be fair. I have already suggested films for both Marvel Studios and DC Entertainment, so here are some ideas for Sony Pictures.

The Sinister Six
I really think going the animated, action-comedy route with "Spider-Man: Into The Spiderverse" is a smart move for Sony. After years of failed attempts at launching a serious Spider-Man Cinematic Universe, taking a step back and doing something fun instead is a great pallet cleanser and convinces people you're not entirely stupid. If Sony wants to dust off the old plans for a "Sinister Six" movie, I think they're better off going with a comedic, animated take on the characters. Nobody wants to watch a two-hour movie where six dangerous grown men hunt down Marvel's poster boy. Especially if it's going to end with them getting arrested. You know, because they're bad guys.
My idea was doing an animated film that opens with Spider-Man (Peter or Miles, you're choice) fighting The Sinister Six (Doc Ock, Vulture, Sandman, Electro, Rhino, and Shocker) and defeating them, but Shocker gets away. With his team locked up, he takes it upon himself to assemble a new Sinister Six, but because Shocker kind of sucks he gets a sucky team. Beetle is only in it for the Instagram followers, Boomerang is infamously labelled "the Australian Bullseye knockoff", Overdrive's only power is hijacking vehicles, and The Spot who is a former scientist, but everyone is more interested in his teleportation powers and they ignore his brilliance. Also Man-Wolf, a former astronaut who became bonded with a stone that turned him into a werewolf, he also spent the past year in an alternate dimension as it's champion. Man-Wolf is actually John Jameson, the son of J. Jonah Jameson and a side plot of the movie would be John trying to reconnect with his father, but his dad is too busy slandering Spider-Man and his foes.
Another side plot is The Hypno Hustler, an old African-American man who's music can hypnotize people. However, his music doesn't effect the Six thanks to Shocker's vibrations and he is upset the Six won't accept him. He would end up kidnapping Jameson and The Six would go to save him. This, however, tips Spider-Man off to the new team and the villains would battle The Web-Slinger. The Six would actually come close to killing Peter, but Man-Wolf is the one who convinces them not to kill him. The Six are then defeated, but Shocker escapes again. End credit sequence would be Shocker with a new team of D-Listers (Grizzly, Big Wheel, Swarm, Cyclone, and Vermin), but The Sinister Ten burst in and ask to join them.
There. Fun animated romp about a bunch of losers who just want to be taken seriously. There's sequel potential, you can get some big names to voice the cast, and you get plenty of chances to take pot-shots at Spider-Man and his characters. That sounds like a lot more fun than a group of grown men ganging up on a teenage boy.

The Scarlet Spider
You know Sony, just because Marvel Studios basically took Spider-Man back from you doesn't mean you can't make Spider-Man movies. All you have to do is use another Peter Parker. Another Spider-Man. Like Ben Reilly, The Scarlet Spider. Do a live action movie about this clone of Spider-Man as he escapes the clutches of Professor Miles Warren and travels the countryside trying to build a life independent of Peter Parker. But when Warren returns as The Jackal and tries to ruin the life Ben's built with an assassin-for-hire named Tarantula, Ben hastily puts together a costume, replicates some web shooters, and becomes The Scarlet Spider. But he has to be careful not to cause too much noise, otherwise the real Spider-Man or one of his Avenger buddies could come after him.
You could do sequels tying in Kaine, Spidercide, The Spider Doppleganger, Kraven The Hunter, Chameleon, and other characters who could mess up Ben's life. Do a film where Peter Parker does find Ben and teams up with him. Maybe cast Andrew Garfield as Ben Reilly and just say he got plastic surgery so he wouldn't look like Tom Holland. Oh, and cast Tobey Maguire as Kaine! And cast Nicholas Hammond as Miles Warren! That would be awesome. But this would be an opportunity to do something different with Spider-Man, like putting him in different locations, giving him a different supporting cast, portraying him differently from the Tom Holland version. You can effectively do whatever you want with Spider-Man by not using the real Spider-Man. Plus, you can make bank off of those blue sleeveless hoodies.

Spider-Man 2099
This would make a dope live-action movie. It's the future of 2099, the US is run by corporations, and Miguel O'Hara is a cold, egotistical scientist who is betrayed by his own assistant. When he is given spider-powers it begins to destroy his normal life. He has fangs and claws and his own company is tracking him down. Miguel is joined by his AI Lyla as he tackles villains like Venture who hunts Miguel down for the company Alchamex, The Samurai who works for Stark Industries, and The Vulture, a cannibalistic crime-boss. And he has to deal with the security cooperation known as The Public Eye.
A movie like this would create a very different depiction of Spider-Man, as well as open the world of 2099 to new fans. There are a group of people called Thorites who know Thor once existed and worship him with the hopes he'll return and fix this future, Doctor Doom is still alive, and mutants still populate the world. Spider-Man and his future are vastly different from the MCU we've seen and could breath some fresh air into Sony's dying franchise.
Thanks for reading.
Which of these films do you wanna see!?

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