Update. Sony Pictures is not only continuing their "planned" Spider-Manless Spider-Man Cinematic Universe, but are now doubling down on it with proposed films about Nightwatch, Jackpot, and the Silver Sable/Black Cat movie is being split into two solo films. They couldn't of just, I dunno, Googled my ideas (https://panelbiter.blogspot.com/2018/07/sony-bologna-helping-sony-pictures.html) or the ideas of anyone else on the internet. Thorgi and The Elseworlds Exchange actually had some good ones.
But since I had a bit of fun pitching Spider-Man movies without Spider-Man the first time, I figured why not do it again as a challenge for myself and a charity to Sony Pictures. Lets all hope the Valiant Comic movies their working on are successful enough to kill this universe before it starts. Here are some ideas for Sony Spider-Man films without Spider-Man!
The Slingers
Cassie was just a Goth chick who fell off a building and was reborn with the shadow powers. Johnny was a slacker who discovered he had superhuman agility. Eddie was a gear-head with cerebral palsy, but engineered a special armor. And Ritchie was a jock who discovered a costume made to mimic the abilities of a God. Inspired by their collective fandom for Spider-Man, these four teens band together to become Dusk, Ricochet, Hornet, and Prodigy, and protect the streets of Boston as The Slingers. A good time too, as Hammerhand-the ex-assistant of the mob boss Tombstone-has moved to Boston to start up his own crime organization, with Spider-Man's old foes The Enforcers (Montoya, Fancy Dan, and Ox) as his backup.
I imagine this film would work kind of like "Kickass". A little more violent and vulgar, but full of references towards Spider-Man and his characters. You got a bit of a Power Rangers/Breakfast Club thing going on with the team, and seeing all their different personalities clash could be entertaining. Having the villains be slightly enhanced gangster also allows you flesh out the powers and backstories of the kids. I think people could really attach themselves to this fun team-focused take on Spider-Man heroes.
Agent Venom
Let Marvel Studios handle all the Venom live-action stuff from now on, hire some anime artists, and make a rated-R, animated movie about Agent Venom. I don't think we're going to see this version of Venom in a film anytime soon, and I'd rather see a sick, hardcore anime-inspired Agent Venom than whatever their doing with Tom Hardy right now. Like, "Akira" or "Elfen Lied" or "Deadman Wonderland". That kind of feel, you know? And the story would be about Flash Thompson, a former high school bully inspired by Spider-Man to be a hero and join the U.S. Army.
But because Flash is kind of an idiot he loses his legs and becomes an alcoholic cripple. But because he's really an idiot he takes the army's offer to bond with the recently extracted Venom symbiot and become Agent Venom, their special soldier. Flash's mission is to use powers of the suit to kill Cletus Kasady, AKA Carnage. Kasady is an escaped serial killer who was infected with a spawn of the Venom suit and became Carnage, and he's now taken over a small town in the South. Now Flash has to hunt down Carnage and kill him and also maintain control over the corruption of the Venom symbiot.
So you get a new Venom movie people can talk about. It's in a sick, vivid art style that people will love even if the movie sucks (which you're already doing with "Spider-Man: Into The Spiderverse"). And you get a movie with Carnage in it. And it's a movie about a soldier. So that's a lot of cool factor for one animated movie about edgy Spider-Man.
Silver Sable & The Wild Pack
Sony. Listen to me. Don't fuck this up. Because this could be really cool. So, Silver Sable is the leader of The Wild Pack, a mercenary team who's jobs help fund the struggling nation of Symkaria, Sable's home. For the next job she has to pull she recruits career cat-burglar Felicia Hardy, The Black Cat. Cat is our POV character as we meet the rest of Sable's crew, most of whom are ex-criminals.
You got ex-convict Flint Marko-The Sandman-who went from fighting Spider-Man to fighting for a country, mainly to make up for his past misdeeds and make himself a better man for the sake of his daughter. He's their strongman and their sand-morphing insurgent. Robbie Farrell is The Rocket Racer, a former street racer who knows his way around an engine. Robbie designs all the gadgets and vehicles for The Wild Pack and is their getaway driver. Next is Michael Morbius, a scientist who turned himself into a vampiric creature. He stays condemned to his laboratory where he helps The Wild Pack with his extensive knowledge of all sciences, but when the situation is dire they break him out of containment. Finally, fresh off his animated action-flick we have Flash Thompson/Agent Venom. After becoming disenfranchised with the U.S. Army, Silver Sable offered Flash a job with less restrictions. Now as their newest Super-Soldier, Flash continues to control the Venom suit while also saving the day like his favorite superhero.
Black Cat helps The Wild Pack steal The Carrion Virus from evil scientist Alistair Smythe before he "tests" the zombie virus out on a small African village. But Smythe has his own backup in the form of the robotic Spider-Slayers and their controller The Living Brain. Things become more complicated when Morbius learns fellow monster-scientist Kurt Conners/The Lizard is helping Smythe in return for a cure to his condition. The Wild Pack has to stop Smythe without killing the inhabitants of the village, save The Lizard, and keep loose cannons like Morbius and Venom from losing control.
Again, this would be animated. I think an animated universe would really help separate what Sony is doing from everyone else. Sure you can't bank off the names of famous actors if you go animated, but I imagine their easier to make, have less limitations, and, if done with care, can all be drastically unique and all be praised for what they do differently. This is essentially The Avengers, The Suicide Squad, and The Expendables in animated form and I think people would respond to that well.
Okay Sony, that's six ideas I'm giving you. Sinister six ideas. Use one, use all, but for God's sake don't make more of an ass out of yourselves than you already have.
And don't make a Jackpot movie. Jackpot sucks.
Thanks for reading.
Which of these movies would you want to see?
No comments:
Post a Comment