Okay Guys, Who Gave That Elf a Gun?

In times of shamrocks and clovers, the biggest fear of Saint Patrick's Day doesn't come from alcohol poisoning or drunkenly cursing at your grandmother. No, the biggest fear is Marvel's short-stacked serial killer going out on the town and taking lives! Be weary readers, for today we explore the Z-Lister simply known as The Elf with a Gun!

First appearing in 1975's "Defenders #25" The Elf with a Gun was an actual elf who murdered dozens of random victims with his pistol. After murdering three couples in New York, The Elf set his sights on a child and his dog, but was seemingly killed by an oncoming truck. The Elf didn't die though, he instead awoke in a place called "The Land of the Lost". Not to be confused with the 1970's television show, this place was a realm where iconic characters re-live the 1960's. The Elf actually met the rock band KISS in this realm and gave them advice on how to escape, this meeting ended with Starchild hoping The Elf would get hit by a truck. That's full circle for you, kids. The Elf has also pulled hoaxes on various heroes, tricking the Defenders-The Hulk, Dr. Strange, Namor and Silver Surfer-into splitting up by telling them that their partnership would result in the destruction of Earth. Honestly, most of those guys seem too smart to fall for that, maybe excluding The Hulk. If that isn't bad enough, The Elf with a Gun's relatives-The Elves with Guns-claimed The Elf's random murders were asked of him by The Tribunals, which are essentially space gods. This excuse was also a hoax by The Elves. Elf with a Gun's most relevant story involved his battle with Spider-Man, The Savage Dragon, Destroyer Duck and Howard the Duck. This battle resulted in Howard the Duck being brought into another universe and one of Howard's clones-created by The Elf with a Gun-replacing Howard as Marvel's resident talking duck. So, The Elf with a Gun seems like the mortal enemy of Howard the Duck. Sounds legit.

The Elf with a Gun is simple, insane, and downright goofy, but that's what makes him such a twisted and fun idea for a villain. No sympathetic background or tragic origin, just a child's fantasy creature with a weapon. If Marvel really wants to throw their readers for a loop, they'd make The Elf with a Gun their surprise break-out villain! Don't tell me watching Robert Downey Jr and Chris Evens chase an elf with a gun around New York wouldn't at least make for a good one-shot! Thanks for reading!

Facebook: The Panel Biter

Twitter: @ThePanelBiter