To be perfectly honest, I had no idea this was an actual comic book character. Like many others, I first encountered "The Russian" in 2004's "The Punisher", but upon research I found the comic book version of the character couldn't be more different from Kevin Nash. Today's Z-Lister is the little-known enemy of The Punisher, The Russian.
First appearing in "The Punisher Vol. 5 #8" in 2000, The Russian's birth name and origin are never given, but we are told that he has travelled the world. One vacation spot in particular was Belfast, where he devoured a man on a bet. The Russian comes from Kazakhstan where he is contacted by crime lord Ma Gnocci to come to New York City and kill Frank Castle/The Punisher, as he has been attacking Gnucci's crime empire. Accepting the job, The Russian boards a plane and crashes it in Canada, killing everyone else on the plane and allowing him to cross the Canadian border in secrecy. I'm sure this violent mistreatment of an aircraft won't be answered with an fatale act of irony. Once in New York, The Russian is sent to Frank Castle's apartment. His and Frank's fight goes from Frank's apartment to the apartment of Frank's obese neighbor, Mr Bumpo. The Russian is clearly dominating the fight, but Frank improvises. Okay, so you know how in the film Frank burns The Russian with boiling water? Well, in the comic Mr Bumpo had recently ordered a pizza and Frank uses a slice of pizza to burn The Russian's face. You can't make this stuff up people! Frank than trips The Russian and tosses Bumpo onto The Russian's face, with the man's weight asphyxiates him. Dead from pizza and a fat man, The Russian's head is cut off by The Punisher and sent back to Gnucci.
The Russian's remains are gathered by the evil General Kreigkopf and The Russian is resurrected as a cyborg via stolen SHIELD technology. However, the experimental hormone treatments that stabilize his body have the side-effect of giving The Russian breasts and menstruations. To compliment the breasts he comes to enjoy, The Russian begins dressing as a woman. You cannot make this stuff up people! The Russian goes after The Punisher again, but this time Spider-Man is present. The Punisher uses Spider-Man as a human shield and manipulates his web-shooters to send The Russian off the building their fighting on and into an oncoming train.
Finally, The Punisher fights The Russian one more time while The Russian is boarding a flight to Brussels. I am sure this trip via an aircraft will not end in a familiar or uncomfortable event. The Punisher's fight with The Russian ends up crashing the plane. Though The Punisher escapes, The Russian is-again-the only survivor of the crash. General Kreigkopf orders his men to hijack another plane carrying nuke, but The Punisher sneaks onto the plane. Just when The Punisher believes he has stopped the General's plan, The Russian appears in the plane and they fight, ending with The Punisher blowing a hole in The Russian's head. I am no doubt assured that this aircraft will remain safe, especially now with the plane-crashing madman subdued, now he can enjoy a relaxing flight. The Punisher then chains The Russian to the nuke and drops it on Grand Nixon Island-home to Kreigkopf and his criminal empire. Before all the criminals are obliterated by the nuke, The Russian-strapped to the bomb-says "Dosvidanja, Big Boy! The Russian really has to hand it to you". For crying out loud, you just cannot make this stuff up people!
The appeal of The Russian isn't where he comes from or how tough he is, it's how off the damn wall he has been used after his first appearance. "Menstruation & Pizza Burns" should not be the takeaway from this simple tough guy archetype of a character. I really hope The Russian remains one of those characters who stays dead, because you just can't top his rise, his phase, and his death. It's absolutely absurd, totally twisted, and completely and utterly comic book!
Spasibo za chteniye! (Thank you for reading!)
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The Russian's remains are gathered by the evil General Kreigkopf and The Russian is resurrected as a cyborg via stolen SHIELD technology. However, the experimental hormone treatments that stabilize his body have the side-effect of giving The Russian breasts and menstruations. To compliment the breasts he comes to enjoy, The Russian begins dressing as a woman. You cannot make this stuff up people! The Russian goes after The Punisher again, but this time Spider-Man is present. The Punisher uses Spider-Man as a human shield and manipulates his web-shooters to send The Russian off the building their fighting on and into an oncoming train.
Finally, The Punisher fights The Russian one more time while The Russian is boarding a flight to Brussels. I am sure this trip via an aircraft will not end in a familiar or uncomfortable event. The Punisher's fight with The Russian ends up crashing the plane. Though The Punisher escapes, The Russian is-again-the only survivor of the crash. General Kreigkopf orders his men to hijack another plane carrying nuke, but The Punisher sneaks onto the plane. Just when The Punisher believes he has stopped the General's plan, The Russian appears in the plane and they fight, ending with The Punisher blowing a hole in The Russian's head. I am no doubt assured that this aircraft will remain safe, especially now with the plane-crashing madman subdued, now he can enjoy a relaxing flight. The Punisher then chains The Russian to the nuke and drops it on Grand Nixon Island-home to Kreigkopf and his criminal empire. Before all the criminals are obliterated by the nuke, The Russian-strapped to the bomb-says "Dosvidanja, Big Boy! The Russian really has to hand it to you". For crying out loud, you just cannot make this stuff up people!
The appeal of The Russian isn't where he comes from or how tough he is, it's how off the damn wall he has been used after his first appearance. "Menstruation & Pizza Burns" should not be the takeaway from this simple tough guy archetype of a character. I really hope The Russian remains one of those characters who stays dead, because you just can't top his rise, his phase, and his death. It's absolutely absurd, totally twisted, and completely and utterly comic book!
Spasibo za chteniye! (Thank you for reading!)
Facebook: The Panel Biter
Twitter: @ThePanelBiter
Podbean: Panelbiter.podbean.com
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