Crap! I've been so busy recording Marvel Medieval I forgot to prepare a Weekly Z-Lister! Let's see, I'll use my surroundings for inspiration! A lamp? No. My dog? Maybe. Ah-ha! I'll check Twitter to see what's trending! Wait. My phone....Of course! This week's Z-Lister is The Phone Ranger from Marvel Comics!
Created as a one-off comedic character by Kurt Busiek and James Fry in 1985's "Marvel Age Annual #1", The Phone Ranger appeared when a villain group called The Lethal Legion attacked the offices of Marvel Comics! "But, Raffi" you may be asking, "How can Marvel Comics exist in The Marvel Universe". Someone didn't read my post on Combo-Man! You see, it was well established in the 1980's that there existed a company called "Marvel Comics" within the fictional Marvel Comics Universe. This version of Marvel Comics published comic books loosely based on the heroes of the MCU. It is to be assumed these comics covered important events in character's careers-like "The Night Gwen Stacy Died"-but lacked the full information-like Spider-Man's secret identity and his relation to Gwen Stacy. It also seemed this version of Marvel Comics didn't ask permission to make comics about these superheroes either.
So yeah! The Lethal Legion go to Marvel Comics and threaten the life of Kurt Busiek himself. In desperation for help, Busiek began dialing phone number after phone number just trying to get help from someone. And boy, did he! The Phone Ranger appeared before Busiek and offered to defeat The Legion. Only to get his butt kicked. Worse yet, he was seemingly killed by Scourge of The Underworld later on.
The Phone Ranger was lost in obscurity until the event "Civil War" where he is one of the many superpowered people arrested by Iron Man and his Pro-Superman Registration Act team. And by the way, his head-gear protected him from Scourge's head-shot. I'm sure you all really cared about that detail. Though he is incarcerated for a while, The Phone Ranger decides to register after Captain America turns himself in. After being appointed as tech support for Iron Man's team "The Initiative", a full bio was given providing readers with a background on The Phone Ranger.
He was formally a phone repair man named A.G. Bell, named after Alexander Graham Bell AKA the inventor of the telephone AKA the reason you all have cat memes today. While working in New York City, Bell had been hired by a man to fix his landline telephone. However, when he arrived at the man's house the man was smashing the phone and complaining about prank calls. After studying the phone, Bell released a alien spaceship from inside. As it turned out, these aliens had flown their spaceship into a subatomic universe and came out inside this man's phone. The "prank calls" had actually been distress signals. After the aliens left the phone, Bell found a piece of their technology still inside of it. He took the phone home and recreated the technology, eventually creating a costume that allowed him to connect with any telecommunication device in existence. So, you know, mostly phones.
This is going to sound weird-or, I guess typical if you know me by now-but I kinda like this guy! At first I thought he was just a joke, but now I realize he could be a running joke. Hell, half the population of people of Earth are on their phones 24/7. When we aren't pooping, eating, sleeping or humping we're on our phones. Some people do all those things while they're on their phones! Calling, texting, web surfing. That's still a term right? I mean, you're probably reading this on a phone right now. Now imagine, a superhero who can travel through phones or hack phones. Maybe he isn't a "lord of technology", but having control over every phone on the planet-especially smart phones-could be a huge power to have. Like, socially huge. He could be literal wi-fi. I guess I'm over-thinking it, but if Marvel offered me ten bucks to pitch a new Phone Ranger one-off story, you know were I'd go. Hmm. Maybe I'll send Busiek a Tweet.
Thanks for reading!
Could Phone Ranger defeat Siri in combat? Comment below!
No comments:
Post a Comment