A Merry Marvel Christmas

As a fan of the Marvel Universe, I have decided to spend my life savings buying for my favorite Marvel heroes! Maybe that will get me an Avengers membership card. I mean if Sandman and Deadpool can be Avengers I'm pretty sure I meet the requirements.

Captain America/Steve Rogers: Audio books detailing world events between the 1950's to modern day. It's a lot to listen to, but I think if Cap can find the time he could catch up with what's been happening with the world just via listening. Cap's good at listening. He could listen to these audio books during his workout regiment or while Tony is talking.

Iron Man/Tony Stark: An Iron Man action figure. It seems kinda dumb, but I think Tony would find an action figure of himself endearing. Maybe a collection of action figures so he can reminisce over his old suits without leaving his living room.

The Hulk/Bruce Banner: A stress ball.

Thor: The God of Thunder looks like the kind of guy who'd have fun with human toys. Like a Whacka Hole arcade console. With a squeaky hammer! Don't want him breaking his toy on Christmas Day.

Ant-Man/Scott Lang: A three course meal. Breakfast, lunch, dinner. If he keeps the food properly stored, Scott could have enough food to last him a year if he shrinks small enough. I mean, if his money is going towards child support having free food for a long time could help him save up some cash.

Spider-Man/Peter Parker: A weighted yo-yo. Yes it's simple, but how often do you see Spider-Man working out? What if it's raining and he can't go a-swingin'? A weighted yo-yo could help him work on his swinging, lifting, and slinging. Despite what Doc Ock may think, Spider-Man can always improve himself.

Wolverine: Cigars, beer, and jerky. He's a very simple man.

Cyclops/Scott Summers: Ruby-Quartz contact lenses. More for style than function, after all you can't really fit a slider button on contact lenses.

Luke Cage: A yellow, deep V-neck shirt. Bell-bottom jeans. And a silver tiara. Basically his classic outfit from the 1970's. But I'd also get the exact same outfit for his wife Jessica Jones and his daughter Daniel Cage. So they can all dress as Power People! Come on! Luke's a goofy Dad now. He'd love it!

Deadpool: A gift card to Chipotle. Oh, and a lot of body spray. Like, enough to disguise the smell of a corpse.

Ms. Marvel/Kamala Khan: A custom Hijab (a type of headdress worn by Muslim women) decorated with Marvel characters like Captain America, Iron Man, The Hulk, Spider-Man, and Wolverine.

Rocket Raccoon: A fruit basket. Yeah it's generic, but Rocket is a raccoon from space! All he's ever eaten in alien food, so apples and grapes and bananas would be new to him. And give him another reason to visit this big, blue, dirt ball.

Hawkeye/Clint Barton: Confetti arrows. That could be fun! Shoot an arrow and it leaves behind a path of confetti. I think Clint could have a party with something like that. Or scented arrows to freshen up the house. Or arrows with apples on the end to feed/shut someone up!

Black Widow/Natasha Romanova: Buying for an adult woman is difficult. Well, she's Russian. Maybe a Russian cook book? One of those stacking dolls? Oh, forget it. I'll get her polish. Not for her nails, but for her guns.

Ghost Rider/Robbie Reyes: Squirrel Girl's phone number. Squirrel Girl babysat for Luke Cage and Jessica Jones in the past so giving Robbie a loyal, protective, and friendly assistant to help watch his brother Gabe would be super helpful. For Robbie's social life and his violent, bloody, horrific life.

Thanks for reading! And Merry Christmas to The Marvel Universe!