Today what we have may not be an elf, but a merry hairy man who had an issue with Hell. Hela, that is. From far in the cosmos comes a troll named Pip. This is his story. As if we gave a shit. Today's Holly Jolly Z-Lister is Pip The Troll.
Pip The Troll was created in 1975, in "Strange Tales #179" by that Jim Starlin guy. Pip's people are known as Laxidazians, though his appearance is quiet grotesque to them. You see Pip is one of many of this alien race to grab a can of Mutagen and get drunk off his face. Through pints and pints of alien funny juice, his size and build began to reduce. He got hairy, short, and rude as the night is young. He lost some fingers and toes, but kept all his thumbs! He began smoking and drinking and scooping women right up, all because he couldn't have just one cup. Pip had been captured by The Universal Church of The Truth. If they couldn't convert you, they'd make you go "poof". This Church followed an evil lord and sought control of the universe, although the Laxidazians had become their problem first. Pip's race was immune to The Church's mind-washing so killing them all off was what they opted. So tossed on an execution ship, and chained to many more men, Pip met he who would become his best friend. Adam Warlock, a being comprised of energy. He was so powerful he could grasp infinity. With Adam's help Pip escaped and a battle they waged, on that church I mentioned before. With Adam and Gamora and Thanos too, Pip destroyed the man who ran that crazy space snafu. Magus, a version of Adam Warlock from time ahead. Hopefully, Adam wouldn't see him again (oh, he will).
Pip lost Adam some time later and in his search discovered a threat much greater. Thanos again, but as foe and not friend. The Mad Titan brought Pip's life to an end. Using The Soul Gem that's bound to his body, Adam Warlock revived his stout buddy. But only Pip's mind resided within the stone and the realm of Soulworld became his new home. After revival and aid to Adam Warlock's adventures Pip gains membership on Adam's team of protectors. Infinity Watch keeping an eye on the six powerful gems, one of which Adam gave to him. With The Space Gem hidden betwixt Pip's grimy toes, all he has to do is think of a place and then off he goes! During the team's stay on Mole Man's island of monsters, Gamora defends it from The United Nations. Over sovereign rights or something of that effect, all that matters is that Pip won his bet! During "Infinity War" Adam splits himself into two: Magus The Evil, and Goddess The Good. With The Watch, and Thanos, and the heroes of Earth they fought Magus. They proved their worth.
As his team was now lesser and needed help fighting Goddess, Pip contact Marvel Comic's Mister Rogers. Oops, I meant "Mister Richards". Mr. Fantastic hooked Pip and friends up with The Earth's Mightiest Heroes and Pip even donned some superhero clothes. However, due to his smell The Hulk put him through hell when he washed him in a tub by force. In the process of stopping Goddess from brain-washing heroes of plenty, Pip became cosmically powered and ended her life unconventionally. He accidentally turned Goddess to salt and then questioned the power he'd got, then he sat upon Goddess' throne. With his thoughts in motion Pip began to notion on how much he could gain with this power. He could have women, wealth, planets made of pure gold. He could have revenge on The Hulk who scrubbed him so cold. Realizing he only wanted something good he attempted to conjure a birthday for himself. Unfortunately, a brain-washed New Warrior named Silhouette knocked out the poor whelp. Pip's soul was chased by the Asgardian Hela who made X-Factor Investigations chase the ugly fella. But X-Factor had been tricked by the hell-queen and helped Pip get free, with aid from The God of Thunder himself. Pip joined X-Factor for a very brief time next appearing in space's confides, covered in Nicotine patches and tan lines.
Pip is disturbing, this much is true. Pretty sure you'd rather have a talking raccoon saving you. He seems to be a play on "bad guys can be good", but when it comes to good deeds he's no Robin Hood. Sure he has good intentions, he has good role models as well, but Pip was always being picked up every time he fell. Never on his own, but with heroes with strength. As far joke characters go though, he sits neatly on the plate. So live on Pip, you freak of nature. Maybe one day we'll see you in a cinematic feature!
Thanks for reading!
Pip lost Adam some time later and in his search discovered a threat much greater. Thanos again, but as foe and not friend. The Mad Titan brought Pip's life to an end. Using The Soul Gem that's bound to his body, Adam Warlock revived his stout buddy. But only Pip's mind resided within the stone and the realm of Soulworld became his new home. After revival and aid to Adam Warlock's adventures Pip gains membership on Adam's team of protectors. Infinity Watch keeping an eye on the six powerful gems, one of which Adam gave to him. With The Space Gem hidden betwixt Pip's grimy toes, all he has to do is think of a place and then off he goes! During the team's stay on Mole Man's island of monsters, Gamora defends it from The United Nations. Over sovereign rights or something of that effect, all that matters is that Pip won his bet! During "Infinity War" Adam splits himself into two: Magus The Evil, and Goddess The Good. With The Watch, and Thanos, and the heroes of Earth they fought Magus. They proved their worth.
As his team was now lesser and needed help fighting Goddess, Pip contact Marvel Comic's Mister Rogers. Oops, I meant "Mister Richards". Mr. Fantastic hooked Pip and friends up with The Earth's Mightiest Heroes and Pip even donned some superhero clothes. However, due to his smell The Hulk put him through hell when he washed him in a tub by force. In the process of stopping Goddess from brain-washing heroes of plenty, Pip became cosmically powered and ended her life unconventionally. He accidentally turned Goddess to salt and then questioned the power he'd got, then he sat upon Goddess' throne. With his thoughts in motion Pip began to notion on how much he could gain with this power. He could have women, wealth, planets made of pure gold. He could have revenge on The Hulk who scrubbed him so cold. Realizing he only wanted something good he attempted to conjure a birthday for himself. Unfortunately, a brain-washed New Warrior named Silhouette knocked out the poor whelp. Pip's soul was chased by the Asgardian Hela who made X-Factor Investigations chase the ugly fella. But X-Factor had been tricked by the hell-queen and helped Pip get free, with aid from The God of Thunder himself. Pip joined X-Factor for a very brief time next appearing in space's confides, covered in Nicotine patches and tan lines.
Pip is disturbing, this much is true. Pretty sure you'd rather have a talking raccoon saving you. He seems to be a play on "bad guys can be good", but when it comes to good deeds he's no Robin Hood. Sure he has good intentions, he has good role models as well, but Pip was always being picked up every time he fell. Never on his own, but with heroes with strength. As far joke characters go though, he sits neatly on the plate. So live on Pip, you freak of nature. Maybe one day we'll see you in a cinematic feature!
Thanks for reading!
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