TOT: Punisher Punched a Polar Bear

Anyone else remember that one time The Punisher punched a Polar Bear?

Fun Fact: Tim Burton almost made a Superman movie with a scene of Superman wrestling a polar bear to convey to the audience how strong he was. But today we're hear to talk about the exact opposite of Superman-not Bizarro, General Zod, or Superboy Prime-The Punisher, Marvel's most "anti" anti-hero. Following a disappointing story in which Frank Castle died, became an angel of Death, and then was fired so hard he got to see his dead family in Heaven and then got sent back to the land of the living, Marvel Comics got Garth Ennis-the man behind "Preacher"-to write The Punisher in the year 2000. Ennis brought the kind of sadistic, disgusting violence Frank had been missing for the past few years. Early in Ennis' run on the book he introduced The Gnucci Family, one of the toughest crime families in New York City. Punisher's return to the NYC community is represented by him killing the three sons of The Gnucci Family, prompting the family's head-Ma Gnucci-into taking action. Take notes, by the way. This may be Season Two of that Netflix series. Ma Gnucci begins a manhunt for Punisher, hiring mercenaries like The Russian (who Frank kills with hot pizza and his fat neighbor) and blackmailing the NYPD into building a Punisher Task Force (consisting of two people).

Ma Gnucci and her bodyguards find and chase The Punisher when they see him spying on them and they run into Central Park Zoo. When Punisher dives into a pit holding a Polar Bear he plans on using it to attack Gnucci and her last guard, but as Punisher puts it "Cuddly. Lovable. Docile. That won't do at all". Frank Castle-The Punisher-delivers a straight right hook into the polar bear's jaw. With the poor endangered animal significantly "triggered", Frank crawls out of the pit and throws Gnucci and her guard in. The guard is killed, but Ma Gnucci miraculously survived thanks to police pulling her out. She lost her scalp and all her limbs, but she survived.

An issue later Punisher goes to Gnucci's mansion to finish the job and finds her limbless body on a bed. Frank sets the mansion on fire leaving her to burn inside. But like I said, she's a survivor. Ma Gnucci-using all her strength-leaps out of the window at Punisher who stands outside the building. And Frank Castle-The Punisher-punts the limbless bitch back into the burning house where she dies. She died as she lived, screaming at other people.

So the next time you want to mess with The Punisher. Oh, let's be real. If you're stupid enough to f$&# with Frank Castle you're probably too dumb to read this.

To all you not-dumbies, thanks for reading!