Here are twenty things Superman could have done instead of snapping Zod's neck.
1. Cover his eyes. It'll hurt, but then the people can run off and you can let go of Zod's face.
2. Tilt his head up, or down, or any direction that isn't straight at the people!
3. Tell the people to run. I'm pretty sure they'll listen to you if you're holding actual death away from them.
4. Freeze his head with your freeze breath. That'll at least slow Zod down and give those people-WHO CAN RUN-a minute to run off.
5. Fly up. F$%king fly up. What's Superman always saying about going up? "Up, up, and away". Do that. F$%king do that. Go up. Up. And away! Far away!
6. Run with him! You have your arm around him, just run away with him! Far away! You're almost as fast as the fastest man alive!
7. Poke his eyes out. You don't have to kill him, just "rock, paper, scissors" him without the first two parts.
8. Twist his head and kiss him. Then, once he is confused about his sexuality, punch him in the face.
9. Use your super breath to blow those civilians away.
10. Use your super breath to suck the air out his head.
11. Use your super breath to blow air into his head.
12. Black Canary this bitch! You can yell really loud! Scream in his ear and knock his ass out.
13. Vibrate your body so fast he vomits on himself.
14. Vibrate your body so fast you phase through the floor. You'll either end up in a basement or in China.
15. Suplex. No complications, no fanciness, just straight up suplex. Put that man down.
16. Bite his ear off. You're right there. You got super strength. Rip it off! He's bleeding and deaf and screaming. And you're just standing there like a champion.
17. Tell him you had sex with his girlfriend. Zod would probably get mad about that.
18. Choke him out.
19. Kick him in the balls.
20. Heat vision his heat vision and cause them to clash away from each other. You know, like lasers work. That's how lasers work, right?
The end.
7. Poke his eyes out. You don't have to kill him, just "rock, paper, scissors" him without the first two parts.
8. Twist his head and kiss him. Then, once he is confused about his sexuality, punch him in the face.
9. Use your super breath to blow those civilians away.
10. Use your super breath to suck the air out his head.
11. Use your super breath to blow air into his head.
12. Black Canary this bitch! You can yell really loud! Scream in his ear and knock his ass out.
13. Vibrate your body so fast he vomits on himself.
14. Vibrate your body so fast you phase through the floor. You'll either end up in a basement or in China.
15. Suplex. No complications, no fanciness, just straight up suplex. Put that man down.
16. Bite his ear off. You're right there. You got super strength. Rip it off! He's bleeding and deaf and screaming. And you're just standing there like a champion.
17. Tell him you had sex with his girlfriend. Zod would probably get mad about that.
18. Choke him out.
19. Kick him in the balls.
20. Heat vision his heat vision and cause them to clash away from each other. You know, like lasers work. That's how lasers work, right?
The end.
No comments:
Post a Comment