I while ago I talked about Tom King's run on "Batman" arc-by-arc and the general result was a slippery slope of Tom King's first draft notes. Will these next couple of arc be just as poorly executed or can the King still fit in on the throne? Let's find out in this special arc-by-arc review of Tom King's "Batman", today on Current Issues.
Rules of Engagement
Following his proposal to Selina Kyle/Catwoman, Bruce must embark on an epic journey across endless deserts and into forbidden cities where his former lover Talia al Ghul is held prisoner. However, Batman and Catwoman's quest to retrieve Selina's broken friend from Talia's grasp breaks the guidelines set by the US government and The Justice League of America. Meanwhile, Alfred informs Bruce's children of the decision he has made. This is where Tom King's apprehension to exposition is apparent. What I mean is, this is the first of many story arcs where Tom either forgets to tell us information, or thinks we'll just go along with it. For example, the idea that the JLA would send Talia to live in this hard-to-escape city in the Middle East is only mentioned briefly as if it's a fact. If Tom wanted to convey this better, he could have used one of the three single issues in his run to have Batman meet with the JLA and talk about Talia, describe this forbidden city, and give us a reason why Selina's friend Holly is with Talia. That's the other weird thing, we learn in an earlier issue Holly ran out of the country because she murdered a bunch of people and if she doesn't admit to it and go to jail Selina will go instead. That's not hard to understand, but if Bruce and Selina had such a hard time illegally traveling to this forbidden city and breaking the law to do so, how did Holly even get there? And also, the fight between Selina and Talia is dumb. Talia has been training her entire life to kill people. She is an assassin, and Selina is a thief. You know how people like to say Batman can do anything because he's Batman? Get ready to see the beginning of "Because she's Catwoman". All and all this arc is short and simple, but without any set-up or realistic conclusions it doesn't land as strong as it leaps.
Superfriends (The Superman Half)
In this first half of Batman's team up with his Trinity pals, Batman and Catwoman's investigation of Doctor Double X crosses paths with Superman and Lois Lane. Rather than waste two issues fighting some Silver Age loser, the couple of couples decide to go on a double date to a boardwalk fare. And fittingly enough, it's superhero themed. Batman dresses like Superman, Superman dresses like Batman, Lois dresses like Catwoman, and Catwoman wears a dress and seduces the ticket-vender into letting her in. The boys compete in games while the girls talk girly-things. Honestly, this is probably my favorite arc of Tom King's entire run. This two-issue story is the perfect description of the Batman/Superman relationship. Both men have such respect and admiration for one another that neither of them believe themselves to be worth the other's time. Batman doesn't think his little human life matters to Superman, and Superman doesn't think he can relate to how damaged Batman is. It's touching. The added bonus is Lois and Selina who get along like childhood friends. It's nice to know that for as different as Batman and Superman are they both have a great taste in women. And their women have a dangerous taste in men. A lot of fun cameos by people dressed as DC heroes, some fun banter between the World's Finest, and a great example of what Tom King can do when he focuses on character relationships.
Superfriends (The Wonder Woman Half)
If Batman/Superman was Tom King understanding friendly relationships, Batman/Wonder Woman is Tom King misunderstanding plutonic relationships. When an old ally known as The Gentleman requires a break from an endless battle against demons in another dimension, he calls on Batman and Wonder Woman to take his place while Selina chaperones him around Gotham City. However, as the hordes of monsters continue we soon learn how fast time flies in this world and how the Gentleman plans on spending more time than requested. Yet again, Tom refuses to explain things. See, this Gentleman guy apparently met the Justice League on a past mission, but that mission never happened. Tom invented this character, made up this mission, and created a scenario too stupid to ignore.
So, the three big rules for this other realm are: Superpowers don't work, a few hours there translate to a few years here, and there are hordes of demons who are trying to escape into our world. Okay, Tom. Here's my first question: Why these two? I understand superpowers don't work, but Superman is still a fighter. He can fight without superpowers, because one of his weaknesses-red sun radiation-literally removes his powers so he HAS to know how to fight without them. Maybe The Flash can't go, but how about any of the seven Green Lanterns, Tom? They don't have powers, they have weapons. Last I checked, Batman and Wonder Woman were using swords and shields, so how is a ring any different, Tom? How about Cyborg? He doesn't have superpowers, he's just a walking utility belt. And hey, Aquaman usually fights with his trident, not with his ability to talk to fish. Is there a weight limit in this universe, Tom? Because if Gentleman can be there alone, and two people can replace him, and by the end of the arc Catwoman suggests three of them go next time, why do only Batman and Wonder Woman go? Why not bring the whole League? Why not recruit more of Batman's allies? Why couldn't Wonder Woman do it alone? She has more experience fighting monsters than Batman does.
But ignoring the problem with the world you set up in one issue (even though you had multiple chances to establish this world in earlier issues) let's talk about Batman and Wonder Woman for a minute. So, if Batman and Superman are two people who respect and care for each other so much they can't admit how they feel, naturally Batman and Wonder Woman should be different. Wonder Woman is always honest and open and cares for Batman, and Batman can't admit how much he cares for Diana and respects her and appreciates her support, but Diana knows how Batman feels regardless. That sounds like a reasonable relationship. But it isn't. See, Tom sets up this idea that Diana can't ignore that she and Bruce are alone. And at the end of the Part One they almost kiss because they think they'll be stuck there forever. Of course, they don't because we can't hate Batman. And the two of them have healthy relationships.
Tom, what was the point of that? To prove how loyal Bruce is? You could have done that with Talia-the mother of his son. You could have done that with any of Bruce's past love interests. But instead you chose to use Wonder Woman as a tease. Wonder Woman-a character who is equal to Batman and Superman-is used as bait to test Batman's commitment to a character who's profession is stealing things. This should have been like the last arc-a defining moment of friendship between two iconic characters. Instead, you turned it into "Which woman will Batman choose? The woman he's been chasing his whole life? Or that half-naked supermodel he works with"?
So, the three big rules for this other realm are: Superpowers don't work, a few hours there translate to a few years here, and there are hordes of demons who are trying to escape into our world. Okay, Tom. Here's my first question: Why these two? I understand superpowers don't work, but Superman is still a fighter. He can fight without superpowers, because one of his weaknesses-red sun radiation-literally removes his powers so he HAS to know how to fight without them. Maybe The Flash can't go, but how about any of the seven Green Lanterns, Tom? They don't have powers, they have weapons. Last I checked, Batman and Wonder Woman were using swords and shields, so how is a ring any different, Tom? How about Cyborg? He doesn't have superpowers, he's just a walking utility belt. And hey, Aquaman usually fights with his trident, not with his ability to talk to fish. Is there a weight limit in this universe, Tom? Because if Gentleman can be there alone, and two people can replace him, and by the end of the arc Catwoman suggests three of them go next time, why do only Batman and Wonder Woman go? Why not bring the whole League? Why not recruit more of Batman's allies? Why couldn't Wonder Woman do it alone? She has more experience fighting monsters than Batman does.
But ignoring the problem with the world you set up in one issue (even though you had multiple chances to establish this world in earlier issues) let's talk about Batman and Wonder Woman for a minute. So, if Batman and Superman are two people who respect and care for each other so much they can't admit how they feel, naturally Batman and Wonder Woman should be different. Wonder Woman is always honest and open and cares for Batman, and Batman can't admit how much he cares for Diana and respects her and appreciates her support, but Diana knows how Batman feels regardless. That sounds like a reasonable relationship. But it isn't. See, Tom sets up this idea that Diana can't ignore that she and Bruce are alone. And at the end of the Part One they almost kiss because they think they'll be stuck there forever. Of course, they don't because we can't hate Batman. And the two of them have healthy relationships.
Tom, what was the point of that? To prove how loyal Bruce is? You could have done that with Talia-the mother of his son. You could have done that with any of Bruce's past love interests. But instead you chose to use Wonder Woman as a tease. Wonder Woman-a character who is equal to Batman and Superman-is used as bait to test Batman's commitment to a character who's profession is stealing things. This should have been like the last arc-a defining moment of friendship between two iconic characters. Instead, you turned it into "Which woman will Batman choose? The woman he's been chasing his whole life? Or that half-naked supermodel he works with"?
Everybody Loves Ivy
People around the world eat plants. Poison Ivy controls plants. So, by basic logic, Poison Ivy controls every person on Earth. Batman manages to resist control and cure himself and Catwoman of Ivy's control and the two set out on a quest to break Ivy's control and save the world. For such a simple premise, this is going to take a lot to unpack. Let's start with the easy part: Ivy. So, she takes over the Earth to keep people safe. If people don't have free will they can't kill each other. But why? For the past seven years DC Comics has been building Ivy as an anti-hero. She's been on The Birds of Prey and The Suicide Squad, she had her own miniseries where she renounced her evil ways. So why is she taking over the Earth?
Well, according to Tom King all of that pesky "continuity" crap doesn't matter right now because during "The War of Jokes & Riddles" she killed, like, seven guys. Yes, a story set only a few years into Batman's career is the reason Ivy takes over the Earth. Not from something that happened yesterday, not from something that happened a year ago, but because of something that happened over fifteen years ago. And, naturally, it's something Tom King wrote. I mean, it's not like there are OTHER stories with Poison Ivy in them. And Tom? Is Ivy a villain? Because you had her admit she's been fighting Batman over the years by her choice, but then later Batman says she was never a villain? Do you honestly believe Ivy-a character created in 1966-has never killed anybody else? But don't worry, readers! Ivy didn't kill those men, The Riddler did! Ivy only strung them up and Riddler returned an hour later to kill them with a gun. Tom, why are you retconning yourself? Also why did Ivy think she killed them if all she did was tie them up with vines? And wouldn't have someone at sometime tell Ivy the men she thought she killed were actually shot? Like, why didn't Batman ever-in the decade he's known her-ever tell her that? But that's only the beginning.
Batman's "plan" is to find this kid who has a fruit/vegetable deficiency that could lead to a cure to Ivy's control, get captured by Ivy's mind-controlled Justice League, fool her into making Superman punch him causing his jaw to break and for him to need immediate medical care, have Catwoman knock Ivy out long enough to wake up Harley Quinn, bring Harley to Ivy, and have Harley convince Ivy to stop. *Deep breath*. What ever happened to that special kid, Tom? How did Batman know Ivy would lose control, Tom? How did he know she'd bother trying to save his life, Tom? How did he know she would successfully save his life, Tom? Why was Harley Quinn part of the medical staff when she's a psychologist, Tom? How did Batman know Harley wasn't "as mind-controlled" as everyone else, Tom? How did Batman jump out his hospital room while holding Harley, doing a flip, landing in the Batmobile, driving, ALL while recently suffering a skull fracture from Superman, Tom? And how, EXACTLY, does Harley giving Ivy a hug immediately convinces Ivy what she was doing was wrong, Tom? She says hardly anything important. All Harley does is smile, hug, make a few jokes, and sell comic books with her ass.
Oh, and don't ask Tom this because he'll get cranky. How does Catwoman defeat Flash, Flash II, and Kid Flash in three moves? Like, all three of them run at Selina, she kicks each of them in the head, and they're out. Three Flashes. Running at super-speed. And she just kicks them. And don't give me that cat-like reflexes bullshit because I'm pretty sure even Kid Flash could run around the Earth at least twice before a cat could pounce at a mosquito. And even IF she was fast enough, how did her leg not come flying off? If The Flash is running faster than the average subway train he's not taking a hit, he's taking her foot off of her leg. It's called physics, Tom. If you shoot me with a bullet and I punch it, it doesn't stop and fall. It goes through my hand and I bleed. Catwoman isn't a sword-fighter, she isn't a speedster, and she isn't a Demigod. Wonder Woman could do that, but she is a Demigod!
And speaking of triplets! When Batman and Harley leave the hospital in the Batmobile they drive towards Superman, Superman of China, and Supergirl. Next panel: he's at he park with Catwoman and Ivy. Tom? Did you forget to write a page? Did your editor say "Batman fighting three Supermen is boring"? How in the holy Hell did Batman defeat three Supermen, Tom? This isn't one of those things where you had to snip your story to make it fit. This is a key plot point because if you don't explain it, it doesn't make sense. Do something, man! Kryptonite lasers, magic spells, red sun lanterns, teleportation machine! For God's sake, at least have Harley mention how they won! At least have Ivy imply she let them pass because she didn't want to hurt Harley! Something!
This all comes down to the most annoying thing about Tom King's Batman run: the lack of time stamps. Sometimes time stamps can be annoying and confusing, but without them you create a choppy, incomprehensible series of events that are frustrating to synch together. When Batman and Catwoman pass out naked in the Batcave, and then wake up in their costumes in bed later, what happened? Did they wake up, change, and then go to sleep? When Batman and Catwoman realize Ivy controls the Earth and they are in their bedroom in their costumes, but then next issue are watching TV is civilian clothes, what happened? Did they change out of their costumes to watch TV? If time passes Tom, we need to know. Otherwise, we don't know if this is all a dream or just badly written. I'll let you decide which is worse.
The big issue here is that I actually love Tom King as a writer. "The Vision" was my favorite Marvel title of 2016. "Grayson" was my reentry into Dick Grayson's life. And "Mister Miracle" is shaping out to be the only New Gods story I ever gave a crap about! I think Tom is an intelligent, cerebral writer with a lot of great ideas, I think he can turn the most obscure character into a 3-dimensional human. I think he could be one of the greatest writers of our time. It's just such a disappointment that the one book he's writing that sucks the hardest is one of my favorite superheroes. It sucks that if someone wanted to get into comics and started with an easy character like Batman-THIS is what they'd have to suffer through. Tom King's Batman pushes established characters in uncharacteristic directions, jumps to unbelievable conclusions, and refuses to guide the reader into any of it's unprepared concepts. When a six issue crossover between Batman and The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is better written, better explained, and more thematic than a series written by the dude who did "The Vision", there are more than few dead rodents in the attic.
Thanks for reading.
Go read James Tynion's "Detective Comics".
Well, according to Tom King all of that pesky "continuity" crap doesn't matter right now because during "The War of Jokes & Riddles" she killed, like, seven guys. Yes, a story set only a few years into Batman's career is the reason Ivy takes over the Earth. Not from something that happened yesterday, not from something that happened a year ago, but because of something that happened over fifteen years ago. And, naturally, it's something Tom King wrote. I mean, it's not like there are OTHER stories with Poison Ivy in them. And Tom? Is Ivy a villain? Because you had her admit she's been fighting Batman over the years by her choice, but then later Batman says she was never a villain? Do you honestly believe Ivy-a character created in 1966-has never killed anybody else? But don't worry, readers! Ivy didn't kill those men, The Riddler did! Ivy only strung them up and Riddler returned an hour later to kill them with a gun. Tom, why are you retconning yourself? Also why did Ivy think she killed them if all she did was tie them up with vines? And wouldn't have someone at sometime tell Ivy the men she thought she killed were actually shot? Like, why didn't Batman ever-in the decade he's known her-ever tell her that? But that's only the beginning.
Batman's "plan" is to find this kid who has a fruit/vegetable deficiency that could lead to a cure to Ivy's control, get captured by Ivy's mind-controlled Justice League, fool her into making Superman punch him causing his jaw to break and for him to need immediate medical care, have Catwoman knock Ivy out long enough to wake up Harley Quinn, bring Harley to Ivy, and have Harley convince Ivy to stop. *Deep breath*. What ever happened to that special kid, Tom? How did Batman know Ivy would lose control, Tom? How did he know she'd bother trying to save his life, Tom? How did he know she would successfully save his life, Tom? Why was Harley Quinn part of the medical staff when she's a psychologist, Tom? How did Batman know Harley wasn't "as mind-controlled" as everyone else, Tom? How did Batman jump out his hospital room while holding Harley, doing a flip, landing in the Batmobile, driving, ALL while recently suffering a skull fracture from Superman, Tom? And how, EXACTLY, does Harley giving Ivy a hug immediately convinces Ivy what she was doing was wrong, Tom? She says hardly anything important. All Harley does is smile, hug, make a few jokes, and sell comic books with her ass.
Oh, and don't ask Tom this because he'll get cranky. How does Catwoman defeat Flash, Flash II, and Kid Flash in three moves? Like, all three of them run at Selina, she kicks each of them in the head, and they're out. Three Flashes. Running at super-speed. And she just kicks them. And don't give me that cat-like reflexes bullshit because I'm pretty sure even Kid Flash could run around the Earth at least twice before a cat could pounce at a mosquito. And even IF she was fast enough, how did her leg not come flying off? If The Flash is running faster than the average subway train he's not taking a hit, he's taking her foot off of her leg. It's called physics, Tom. If you shoot me with a bullet and I punch it, it doesn't stop and fall. It goes through my hand and I bleed. Catwoman isn't a sword-fighter, she isn't a speedster, and she isn't a Demigod. Wonder Woman could do that, but she is a Demigod!
And speaking of triplets! When Batman and Harley leave the hospital in the Batmobile they drive towards Superman, Superman of China, and Supergirl. Next panel: he's at he park with Catwoman and Ivy. Tom? Did you forget to write a page? Did your editor say "Batman fighting three Supermen is boring"? How in the holy Hell did Batman defeat three Supermen, Tom? This isn't one of those things where you had to snip your story to make it fit. This is a key plot point because if you don't explain it, it doesn't make sense. Do something, man! Kryptonite lasers, magic spells, red sun lanterns, teleportation machine! For God's sake, at least have Harley mention how they won! At least have Ivy imply she let them pass because she didn't want to hurt Harley! Something!
This all comes down to the most annoying thing about Tom King's Batman run: the lack of time stamps. Sometimes time stamps can be annoying and confusing, but without them you create a choppy, incomprehensible series of events that are frustrating to synch together. When Batman and Catwoman pass out naked in the Batcave, and then wake up in their costumes in bed later, what happened? Did they wake up, change, and then go to sleep? When Batman and Catwoman realize Ivy controls the Earth and they are in their bedroom in their costumes, but then next issue are watching TV is civilian clothes, what happened? Did they change out of their costumes to watch TV? If time passes Tom, we need to know. Otherwise, we don't know if this is all a dream or just badly written. I'll let you decide which is worse.
The big issue here is that I actually love Tom King as a writer. "The Vision" was my favorite Marvel title of 2016. "Grayson" was my reentry into Dick Grayson's life. And "Mister Miracle" is shaping out to be the only New Gods story I ever gave a crap about! I think Tom is an intelligent, cerebral writer with a lot of great ideas, I think he can turn the most obscure character into a 3-dimensional human. I think he could be one of the greatest writers of our time. It's just such a disappointment that the one book he's writing that sucks the hardest is one of my favorite superheroes. It sucks that if someone wanted to get into comics and started with an easy character like Batman-THIS is what they'd have to suffer through. Tom King's Batman pushes established characters in uncharacteristic directions, jumps to unbelievable conclusions, and refuses to guide the reader into any of it's unprepared concepts. When a six issue crossover between Batman and The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is better written, better explained, and more thematic than a series written by the dude who did "The Vision", there are more than few dead rodents in the attic.
Thanks for reading.
Go read James Tynion's "Detective Comics".
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