Grodd bless America! The Greatest Country on Earth...if you don't watch the news. Or TV in general. And you don't go online or on social media. Or live here. Or read the papers. Pound of pound I'd say we're pretty good. Top 3. Maybe. Anyway, here are The Panel Biter's Top 10 Patriotic Superheroes!
10. Commander Steel
This guy is one of many attempts by DC Comics to catch the lighting-in-a-bottle that was Marvel's Captain America. Steel was even a soldier who was experimented on! Granted he was given an exoskeleton that gave him his powers, and not some super steroid. Though it's probably easier to remove a skeleton than a biological enhancement serum. He's such an inferior Captain America even his rank is lower than Cap's! Despite that he's still a soldier, a member of the JLA and JSA, and looks damn good when Alex Ross draws him.
9. Spider-Man
Peter Parker isn't the most patriotic guy in New York, but there's a reason the guy is always seen hanging around flag poles. The Sam Raimi "Spider-Man" movies painted a pretty clear depiction of Spider-Man being the average, hard-working, ladder-climbing American. Straight out of High School, Peter is expected to get a job, go to college, and juggle his responsibilities. Peter's story is one of Coming of Age in a modern America where the job market is tough even on the strongest of heroes.
8. Stargirl & Stripe
You think Hawkman's legacy is complicated? Don't get me started on the Starman legacy. The shining star of which is definitely Stargirl and STRIPE. Stargirl is a teenager who modeled her identity after The Star Spangled Kid and she uses Starman's Star Rod to save lives. STRIPE is her step-father in a metal suit, helping her pursue her superhero career. These two are obviously patriotic, but you also have to admire their respect for their elder superheroes and their uncommonly represented step-father/daughter relationship.
7. Wonder Woman
Diana may be a child of Themyscira, but she wears our colors! Wonder Woman probably helped out in WWII more than most DC Comics characters, she absolutely agreed with our concepts of freedom and truth and righteousness. But she doesn't always agree with America or it's government, she simply agrees with our better ideals. And-if your reading a loyal version of the character-she also believes in peace before violence, an initiative the US tries to follow. Tries anyway.
6. The Force of July
Yeah, these guys were the reason I wanted to do a list. Major Victory is a Cap-clone, Lady Liberty is dressed like The Statue of Liberty, Mayflower is named after one of the two famous boats in history, The Silent Majority is a cleverly named, human Xerox, and Sparkler is a walking sparkler. These guys are ridiculously modeled after historical landmarks and traditions and references and they've never really been anything more than a silly joke. Hey, I'd bring em back! Maybe with a superhero can alter reality by holding a Twitter poll online.
5. Captain Marvel
Carol used to be a member the US Air Force, but that's not her only qualifier. Otherwise Hal Jordan would be here too. Carol is a patient soldier, operating as Ms. Marvel for so many years, playing leader on Iron Man's US commissioned Mighty Avengers, and finally taking the USA into space with Alpha Flight. She does this by hiring Canadian superheroes. Again, she's rocking the colors, she's got the military background. And Marvel really wants to push her as their Superman. That'll be relevant soon.
4. James Rhodes
I've always liked this guy more than Tony. Rhodey was Iron Man when a black man wearing a white dude's super-suit was dangerous, he was War Machine when the world needed an Iron Man who could do more than shoot lasers, and he was Iron Patriot when a movie came out and Marvel Comics decided-I mean when the country needed him to be. Rhodey is another soldier who became a superhero, he's also a great middle ground between a cocky weapons manufacturer and a all-American war hero. Rhodey manages to walk that line between being an agent and a rogue, a man of the people and a man of his country. And it's balance of commitment and humanity that makes him a great patriotic character. Also he's a US military base rolled into one metal suit.
3. Superman
Truth, justice, and The American Way. No matter what side of the political fence you're on, you have had to have seen Superman as DC's Captain America at some point. He follows all our traditional American values, he was raised on a farm surrounded by hard working county folk and raised by good moral people. He moved on to live in one of many New York allegories and wrote for a newspaper-the most old-school of publications. He treats everyone with respect and gives people the chances they need to turn their lives around. Superman isn't a bully, he isn't a weapon, he's an opportunity. An inspiration to treat other people like neighbors, to allow people to show their better side, and for all of us to better every day. Superman is the ultimate immigrant success story. This humble, simple man who comes from another world grew up in a land of opportunities, he not only benefited from our land's openings, but he uses his history and his blessings to remind us why America is great. And why being human is the best thing you can be. Superman isn't just an American icon, he's every aspiring American's endgame. And no, he won't let border-jumpers die.
2. Uncle Sam
I mean, how do you get more American? Excluding the obvious. Uncle Sam is more like a force of nature than a person. As it turns out, he was created from the image of the poster character and the swell of patriotism in America during WWII. Uncle Sam is powerful, immortal, and can alter his own size. However, Sam's strength and vitality depends on the belief of his country. When America is proud, he is strong. When America is divided, he is weak. So while Uncle Sam isn't subtle in the metaphor department, he's like a glass cannon. Super useful, but his weakness can be Fox News or the last election. One little post about how America is actually terrible and Sam is down for the count. Still, in a perfect world, this guy is a pretty wholesome idea.
1. Captain America
Duh. He wears it, he believes in it, and he took it's damn name. Whether he's across the planet or across the galaxy, Steve Rogers never lets go of the values he became accustomed to in the 1940's. Captain America is a soldier, a leader, a tactician, an artist, and a superhero icon both in the Marvel Universe and even here in the real world. Something I always loved about Cap is the fact that he came from a time of racism, sexism, misunderstood health factors like fatty foods and cigarettes, xenophobic propaganda, and the public's ignorant views on science, and he didn't bring ANY of that shit with him when he melted out of the ice. He brought loyalty, humility, pride, trust, freedom, and the rights of all people, American or otherwise. He should really be called Captain People because he's more about the liberty of human beings than a single country. But he is trying to remind current America what used to be sacred about it. Steve Roger's arch nemesis isn't The Red Skull or Nick Spencer, it's time. It's change. It's the ever-distancing values of his time. And the other Captain Americas struggled with similar issues. When Bucky was Captain America he struggled with the idea of an ex-murderer being the symbol of country, but he had unknowingly created the idea that anyone-no matter how bad, with whatever kind of criminal past-could be redeemed and serve as a functional member of American society. Sam Wilson had to deal with people pointing him out as The Black Captain America, but on the surface he was representing all minorities who have tried to stick their feet in American soil and make a name for themselves. Captain America represents so many different kinds of people while also being a voice of the yesteryear. A voice that reminds us that for as crappy as things used to be, people still had values and beliefs and they didn't have to worry about their own neighbor gunning them down. Captain America makes people believe in those foregone ways, believe they still have a place in the modern world. If a man who rubs elbows with Gods and monsters still believes in the heart of a country, than maybe it's worth believing in.
Thank you for reading and have a happy 4th of July.
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