Panel Biter Podcasts

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

You Can't Handle The Truth

Where does she come from? Who is she? What is she? Other stupid questions DC thinks need to be answered. We all know her, we all love her, and she's the best-looking part of DC Comic's Trinity. But while we all want to see Wonder Woman be as great and adventurous as Superman and Batman, DC Comics has only one story in mind for her. And it's the story we've heard a thousand times.
So, let me honest with you guys. I'm not currently reading Wonder Woman's book. I gave it the ol' three issue try, but I just couldn't get into it. And I wanted to. After all, "DC Rebirth" really kicked these books into gear. I'm reading more Superman now than ever. So I wanted to give Wonder Woman the same chance, and with Greg Rucka on the book I had high hopes. Rucka used to write for Wonder Woman in 2003 and he was damn good at it. So if it wasn't Rucka that turned me away, what was it? The costume? No, her current costume is probably my favorite. The art? No, the art is pretty good. Because I'm a woman-hating misogynist? Well, that would be a shock. Also I'm pretty sure that's an oxymoron. No, it's because after all of these years being away from Diana the story Rucka is choosing to tell...is her origin story. Again. Add to that "Wonder Woman: Earth One" which came out last year and was an origin story. Some kind of fairy-tale novel that also came out last year that was an origin story. "Darkseid War" which was an event that expanded on the origin story. "The New 52" in 2011 that changed the original origin story. The several origin stories for supporting character Donna Troy/Wonder Girl. And what we here is a cluster-$%&# of unnecessary stories. The entire first arc of Rucka's current "Wonder Woman" revolves around Wonder Woman learning the truth behind her creation. Why, huh? Why? Because she's getting a movie? Because not enough people know the origin? Or because instead of just doing a new story, DC would rather bank of another "the REAL story behind Wonder Woman" story? I'm guessing the latter. I'm guessing because it's easier to write, sell, and advertise an origin story than anything new. Batman and Superman's backstories are known worldwide because they had films. So what? We have to wait for that dumpster fire of a Wonder Woman movie to be slapped onto the big screen before any writer can tell new stories with the character? Hell, for a character who is supposed to be DC's third leg and the representative for all female heroes, it would seem DC wants to keep her on square one for as long as they can.
You want to know the origin? There's three and they are really simple. Watch. Origin #1: Hippolyta is the Queen of The Amazons, an immortal race of warrior women. Hippy wants to raise an heir, but the Amazons don't like men. So she sculpts a baby out of clay and asks the Gods and Goddesses to bring the baby to life. They do, the figure becomes a baby girl, the Amazons raise the baby to be their mightiest warrior Princess Diana/Wonder Woman. Easy-freaking-peasy. Don't like it? Don't like how she's basically a golem? That's fine. Origin #2: Diana is the daughter of Hippolyta and Zeus. The two of them were constantly battling and they eventually developed romantic feelings for each other and Zeus did what Zeus does. Now Diana is born a Demi-God with untapped power and she's given the mantle of God of War by Ares for some reason. There. Even more simple. Like both? Well, Origin #3: The clay thing happens, but then Diana learns that was a lie to keep her from realizing Origin #2 was the real origin. Even better! Use both stories so everyone can be happy! Or nobody can be happy! It doesn't matter because nobody cares!
Look, for me? Wonder Woman is made out clay. She's born without the semen of man, she's the child of Amazonians, and she represents peace. Her main weapon is a tool meant for binding, not cutting or hitting. The Amazons know combat so that they can stop violence, prevent war, and not allow the angers of man to affect the peace that women can achieve. Wonder Woman is a diplomat first, warrior second. Wonder Woman is a hero first, killer second. Wonder Woman is a woman role model first, and a blood-soaked pin-up girl last! As far as her origin is concerned, tell it once, tell it loud, and lets be done. There is no need to hide the truth or have a soul-seeking story, just have this character develop, have her accept herself, and have her move on to teaching others how to accept themselves. If the only story DC Comics wants to tell about Wonder Woman is where she came from then maybe they should look at her goddamn Wikipedia page and realize this isn't the first time they've asked that. And it certainly isn't the first time they've tried to answer themselves.
Thanks for reading.

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