Tuesday, March 26, 2019

MCWho? (10 Actors You Forgot Where in The MCU)

The Marvel Cinematic Universe has spanned over a decade, and along it's path it has collected a myriad of actors and actresses. You may know who they are, but there are some MCU actors you might have forgotten about. Here's The Top 10 Forgotten Actors in The MCU.

10. Sylvester Stallone
Starting our list of overlooked actors, we have one of the most iconic character actors of the last three decades. Rocky Balboa, John Rambo, The Guy From Expendables, Judge Dredd (the bad one), Demolition Man, the bad guy from Spy Kids, Tango or Cash, whichever one he was. Stallone has had many memorable roles. That's why he may have taken fans by surprise when he appeared in "Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2" as Yondu's old friend Stakar-known in the comics as Starhawk. Not to be confused with Darkhawk. Or Nighthawk. Or Blackwing. And other than all being bird-themed, they all have annoyingly confusing backstories. Hopefully Starhawk and his merry band of OG Ravagers appear in James Gunn's third film.

9. Donald Glover
Comedy writer, actor, and talented musician, Donald Glover can do it all. After being partly the inspiration behind Miles Morales/Spider-Man, Donald Glover has lent more than a hand to the Spider-Man franchise. From voicing Miles in cartoons, and now to appearing in "Spider-Man: Homecoming" as Miles' uncle Aaron Davis. And if you know anything about Aaron Davis, you know Donald Glover is subject to villainy, death, and-again-the creation of a new Spider-Man. I don't know if the MCU will ever ditch Peter for Miles, now that "Spider-Man: Into The Spiderverse" has a solid Miles origin already, but it's nice to know one of the most talented men in Hollywood can always make time to represent his fellow black nerd.

8. Tommy Lee Jones
One of the lowest points of Tommy Lee Jones' career was playing Two-Face in "Batman Forever". Maybe it was the makeup, maybe it was the script, maybe it was Jim Carrey. Actually, it was entirely Jim Carrey. Regardless, that film didn't stop him from doing three "Men In Black" movies, and starring in "Captain America: The First Avenger". He plays a U.S. Army General-shocker-and just kind of razzes Steve Rogers. And unlike Bucky or Peggy or even that one Asian guy on The Howling Commandos, Tommy didn't reappear after this film in any meaningful way. It's understandable, unless you pull a descendent thing there isn't any good reason to bring him back. And I don't think he wants to come back, for that matter. He's just a weirdly noticeably cog in the patriotic machine.

7. Edward Norton
Why is General Ross the ONLY character from "The Incredible Hulk" to reappear? Like, you got Abomination, The Leader, even Betty Ross and Doctor Sampson get powers in the comics. The only actor you'd be hard pressed to see again is Edward Norton-who apparently had some kind of mental breakdown before the filming of "The Avengers". Again, super weird because "Incredible Hulk" had a post-credit scene with Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark/Iron Man, there to tease The Avengers. Bruce Banner would quickly be replaced by Mark Ruffalo, and with him he brought a differently designed Hulk, and zero references to "The Incredible Hulk". It's almost like that film isn't even part of the MCU, excluding Ross' random reappearance in "Captain America: Civil War". Even then though, it's not like any MCU films reference the movie. Don't blame Norton though, Universal Studios still has a slice of the Hulk pie and they're stingy about sharing.

6. Terrance Howard
Before The Jolly Green Giant was replaced, Tony Stark's best friend James Rhodes was recast in "Iron Man 2" with Don Cheadle replacing Terrance Howard. Howard walked out because he wasn't getting paid as much as RDJ, which is a pretty good reason so early into the franchise. It doesn't help that in "Iron Man" he looks as a silver Iron Man armor and says "Next time, baby". Next time never came, man! It's weird imagining a universe where Terrance Howard outruns lava-men and saves the president, but that almost happened. And he probably would have been upset about falling out of the sky in "Captain America: Civil War". All that being said, with Iron Man being the most successful trilogy-at least on paper, #TeamCap-I think more people remember Rhodey's recast than Hulk's. It also helps that Iron Man got sequels. Damn you, Universal.

5. John C. Riley
Uh, yeah, how the fuck did John C. Riley get in the MCU? Did he sign away his soul to the devil? Did he sign away Will Ferrell's soul to the devil? Somehow, someway, Riley escaped his "best friend in Will Ferrell movies" trap and got a role in "Guardians of the Galaxy" as a member of the Nova Corps. So it's not enough he's in the MCU, but he gets to play a space cop. Nobody saw that coming. And despite not looking like a cool alien, his character is shown to have a family of red-skinned humanoids, so that's cool. Biracial, bi-species, bi-whatever, Riley has it made. Or had it made, I think Thanos destroyed Xandar. Tough break. At least Riley has Wreck-It Ralph to fall back on. And whatever that Will Ferrell "Sherlock Holmes" movie is.

4. Tananobu Asano, Ray Stevenson, Josh Dallas & Zachery Levi
While they aren't as badly written or as wasted as Natalie Portman and Kat Dennings, The Warrior's Three were sidelined pretty hard. Understandably, the first Thor film couldn't be a fish-out-of-water story with them on Earth with Thor. The most significant thing they all did was die in "Thor: Ragnarok". If you're a Japanese movie fan, you might know Tananobu Asano (Hogun). Although, my fellow dirty Westerners may know Volstagg better. It's hard to tell under all that hair, but that's Ray Stevenson-who played The Punisher pre-MCU. Josh Dallas-Fandal-is pretty forgettable too, but only because he was replaced by Zachery Levi after "Thor". Yeah, the dude playing a God-powered, thunder-wielding superhero played supporting character to a God-powered, thunder-wielding superhero. Alas, poor Warriors Three, you died so young. As did the rest of Asgard.

3. Hannibal Buress
If you don't know Hannibal Buress, he's a stand-up comedian. He plays a gym teacher in "Spider-Man: Homecoming", and he's also in the movie "Tag" with Jeremy Renner. Does that mean Hawkeye is good friends with Spider-Man's gym teacher? No, but I have my head-canon. You might know Buress from that "Wack" meme that's been circling the internet. Buress' comedic lack of enthusiasm is his best trait, and it's used to full effect when Peter just leaves detention and Buress really doesn't give a shit. Gotta love those Captain America PSA's. Pretty sure that guy's a war criminal now.

2. Seth Green
The voice of Chris on "Family Guy" and literally everyone on "Robot Chicken", Seth Green's most notable live-action role was probably when he played Doctor Evil's failure of a son-Scott-in the Austin Powers films. Seth Green is a pretty funny guy, though. And it's his comedy background that landed him a bit part in the MCU's funniest franchise "Guardians of the Galaxy". See, I told you there were a lot of obscure actors in "Guardians of the Galaxy"! In the end credits of the first film, and fairly early in the sequel, Seth Green voices a character named Howard The Duck. Howard is a walking, walking duck-person who comes from an alternate reality where ducks are the dominant race on Earth. We don't know how or when, but Howard had been part of The Collector's collection before escaping at the end of "Guardians of the Galaxy". Because Howard is a CGI character and he has, like, one speaking part in both films, you'd easily miss that Howard is voiced by one of comedies' best voice talents.

1. Miley Cyrus
At the beginning of this list, I pointed out how unexpected Stallone was as an original Ravager in "Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2". I didn't mention that his old crew included actors like Ving Rhames and Michael Rosenbaum, but there's also a character known as Mainframe. Mainframe is a robot head. And it is voiced by an uncredited Miley Cyrus. Yes, as if casting in these Cosmic Marvel movies couldn't get any crazier, Disney-to-Risque pop-star Miley Cyrus comes in like a wrecking ball to cameo at the end of the film.
Could we see Mainframe and the rest of the OG Guardians characters show up in future films? What about the other overlooked actors? What ever happened to Lady Sif? I don't know the answers to these questions, I'm still stuck on how John C. Riley snuck into Kevin Feige's office.
Thanks for not reading.

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