The Smoking Gun...Weiner

This is Codpiece. Codpiece is a one-time villain of The Doom Patrol. Codpiece is this week's Z-lister. Codpiece has a gun on his crotch. Alright, let's do this.
READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

In 1993, writer Rachel Pollack created a villain known as Codpiece in "Doom Patrol #70". Dang, one issue number less and he'd have a terrifically ironic joke. While his civilian name was never revealed, Codpiece's backstory is one of tragedy. In high school, Cod was constantly rejected by girls because "he wasn't big enough". When he was told this Cod assumed girls meant his "member" wasn't large enough, but they were referring to his height. In college he was rejected by a girl who he thought liked him, but again assumed the problem was with his "jockstrap" size. As an adult he went to a plastic surgeon and requested the doctor make him bigger. The doctor advised counseling before making such a dire decision. Cod-again-thought the doctor was making fun of his "fire hose" and stormed out. The final straw was when Cod payed for the affection he wanted and hired a prostitute, however he couldn't perform. The prostitute was very understanding and suggested padding. Sick of the insults towards his "right hand man", Cod built a suit of armor featuring sonic cannons, spring-loaded boxing gloves, giant scissors, rocket launchers, and a crotch-mounted cannon that fires beams and hides a suggestive drill. He took the name Codpiece and swore nobody would insult his "John" any longer! His attempt at robbing a bank was thwarted by Coagula, a transgender member of The Doom Patrol. Codpiece is never seen again after his weaponized "pink pistol" is destroyed.
This post is a bit short (HAHAHAHA), but some jokes are best when they are simple. The 90's Doom Patrol comics were littered with weird characters and Codpiece is no acceptation. This is a guy who was so self-conscious he built a penis cannon and became a villain. Was it his own personal shortcomings? Was it the cruel misfortune of his genetics? Or maybe, just maybe, its all because women don't know how to talk to men. I know I sound a bit sexist, but lets be real: this guy deserves nothing less than the laziest of my writing prowess. All and all, this guy makes me laugh just as he was designed to and we shouldn't expect anything more. We've seen what expected more does to this guy. Really, the only person I can see bringing this character back is me. And that's mostly just to laugh at him.
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