In the far future, the men and women we've come to know as superheroes are a new mythology. Hero teams are replaced by a hero organization, secret identities are replaced by codenames, and planetary protection is replaced by universal protection. In the future, superheroes patrol all planets and all the space between them. But what these heroes are about to learn is that in space, no one can here you laugh. Today I pitch a story called, "Legion of Super-Heroes: Captive Audience".
The Legion of Super-Heroes is an organization that's existed in DC Comics since the late 1950's. They are an army of superheroes in the 30th Century, a time where alien races are fully united with one another, superheroes of our time are treated as history icons, and mankind has evolved and interbred with alien species across the cosmos. In this story, a group of Legionaries are sent up to a satellite orbiting the planet of Rann. The Legionaries have been sent to investigate a series of murders on this satellite. The crewmen of this satellite aren't your standard technicians, they are what the 30th Century calls "Temps". These "Temps" are everyday civilians implanted with a chip that overrides their memories and thoughts with the brainwaves of previous professionals. "Temp" policemen have the brainwaves of the GCPD Commissioner Jim Gordon, "Temp" actors have the brainwaves of Leonardo DiCaprio, and these "Temp" satellite engineers have the brainwaves of notable and respected satellite engineers.
The Legionaries in question include the three founders of the LoS: Cosmic Boy, Lightning Lad, and Saturn Girl, as well as Brainiac 5, Shrinking Violet, Sun Boy, Dream Girl, Timber Wolf, Karate Kid, and Invisible Kid. On the satellite they meet a small group of Temps who are still alive. Brainiac 5 digs through the video and audio logs of the satellite while Lightning Lad and Cosmic Boy do some looking around. They find the equipment room where they are ambushed by an unseen assailant. Lightning Lad is hit with a static field that slowly drains him of his electricity powers while Cosmic Boy is cut across the throat and bleeds to death. Brainiac 5 analyses who this murderer is on the files just as the killer introduces himself to Lightning Lad. The Joker is here.
Brainiac 5 explains to the Legionaries that "The Joker" was the primary enemy of Gotham's Batman in the 20th Century. Somehow, one of the Temps received a chip with The Joker's brainwaves in it. When questioning the other Temps, the heroes learn their manager-the only person on the satellite without a chip-is missing, not dead. Brainiac 5 also picks up the video of The Joker murdering Cosmic Boy and capturing Lightning Lad. Before they can act, the primary energy functions of the satellite are shut down and the backup generator activates. Saturn Girl and Brainiac 5 take charge: Brainiac 5 will stay in the operations room to watch the crewmen and try to repair the satellite's functions, Dream Girl will stay with him and use her future-seeing powers to keep him and the crewmen safe. Saturn Girl and the other Legionaries will search for the manager and The Joker.
The Joker ambushes Timber Wolf, Karate Kid, and Invisible Kid when they are split from the group. The Joker uses a toxic spray to send Timber Wolf into a flurry, he loses control and attacks Karate Kid. Invisible Kid goes invisible and tries to run away, but steps in blood as he runs. The blood comes from Karate Kid as he too is effected by the spray. Karate Kid fights until the spray and exhaustion causes Timber Wolf to die of heart failure. Just as Karate Kid runs at The Joker, the clown pulls out a pistol and fires at Karate Kid. "Gotta love the classics", The Joker sneers. Saturn Girl, Sun Boy, and Shrinking Violet find the manager and see he has the captive Lightning Lad. They arrest him and start returning to the operations room. Invisible Kid hides in a broom closet, not knowing he left a path of bloody footprints. We think it's The Joker walking towards the closet, but it's actually just his friends.
They regroup in the operations room where the manager refuses to speak. Saturn Girl reads his mind and discovers he's secretly a member of The Joker Cult, a group thought disbanded many years ago. The manager claims he stole a chip with The Joker's brainwaves on it from a psychiatric research center and brought it on-board. He replaced a Temp's chip with The Joker chip and offered to help The Joker in any way possible. As an engineer himself, the manager was able to create tools and weapons for The Joker and even send a distress call to Earth. Now The Joker will kill everyone on the satellite and steal the Legion's spacecraft. Brainiac 5 claims there isn't much more he can do for the ship's power until Lightning Lad can recharge. They consider waiting it out, but the operations room fills with toxic fumes. Saturn Girl tries to use her telepathy to keep the Legionaries from losing control, but the crewmen start going mad and one of them stabs the manager. Invisible Kid is also killed in the scuffle as the rest of the Legionaries run out of the room. The Joker stares at them from down the hall and Sun Boy runs at him. The Joker fires needles into Sun Boy until Sun Boy flies at him, pinning him to a wall. The Joker then releases an air lock sending them both into the vacuum of space. When the rest of the Legionaries look outside, Sun Boy is killed from the poisons The Joker stung him with and The Joker himself is nowhere to be seen.
They continue through the satellite and Dream Girl receives a premonition that The Joker will appear again soon. Lightning Lad realizes his Legion Ring (which provides oxygen in space) was stolen, likely by The Joker which is why he survived in space. Brainiac 5 notes the only entree onto the satellite would be the ship cargo where they flew in. They arrive in the engine room where-thanks to Lightning Lad's additional electricity-Brainiac 5 is able to lock down the cargo room for the time being, odds are The Joker still has the device the manager gave him to mess with the satellite. Lightning Lad begins charging energy into the ship. Dream Girl tries to have another vision, but witnesses her own death and falls unconscious. Angered and desperate, Saturn Girl uses her powers to enter The Joker's mind. She becomes still while doing this, but The Joker is freely moving towards the cargo door. Brainiac 5 takes out a portable time travel device he saves from an emergency. While in The Joker's head, Saturn Girl sees limitless origin stories, horrific memories, and incomprehensible thoughts. She finishes reading The Joker's mind and drops dead. At the same time, The Joker leaves the cargo room and hacks the LoS' ship to leave the satellite alone. There is no way out now.
Dream Girl wakes up to see Brainiac 5, Shrinking Violet, and Lightning Lad huddled over the body of Saturn Girl. Brainiac 5 caves in and decides to use the time travel device to pull Superman from the past to the present to help them. Even if it effects the timeline, nobody else must die today. The Joker's hacking device strikes again as instead of summoning adult Superman, the device summons teenaged Lex Luthor. Brainiac 5 knows how brilliant-and dangerous-Lex grows up to be. He thinks Luthor could be the counter to The Joker, but Luthor refuses to help as he doesn't fully understand what's going on. Lightning Lad lies to Luthor and tells him that in the future Lex will found The Legion of Super-Heroes, saying the "L" symbol was inspired by him. This plays to Luthor's ego. Brainiac 5 provides Luthor with a Motherbox computer containing information on 20th century psychology and agrees to give Lex an hour of study time. Meanwhile, Lightning Lad sneaks out to confront The Joker. This time Lightning Lad counters The Joker's electricity-draining device, but gets shot in the knee. Before Lightning Lad can pelt Joker with bolts, The Joker begins tossing Legion rings at Lightning Lad. One by one. With each ring flung The Joker names off another one of Lightning Lad's friends he killed. With no rings left, The Joker fires again at the boy's other knee. The Joker opens a tool box and takes out a crowbar.
Luthor is done studying and is ready to confront The Joker. They send him out into the hallway. Brainiac 5 continues repairs to the engine, hoping another SOS could be sent out, and Dream Girl watches the monitor with Lex on screen. "Even if this fails" Brainiac 5 says, "We have a plan B". Lex and The Joker talk, Lex attempting to psychoanalyze The Joker. Talk about his ego, his inner pain, his desire for attention. But The Joker simply smiles. The Joker remembers Lex Luthor, all the fun they had fighting Superman and Batman. He remembers how Lex kills Superman. Curious, Lex gets closer and allows The Joker to whisper in his ear. As he does this, The Joker grabs Lex's hand and sends watts of electricity from his joy buzzer into Lex. He holds it until Lex is a charred corpse. The Joker shreds a single tear, "Killing friends is always such a hassle". The Joker walks towards the engine room and stops just short of the door. Inside The Joker's head is Shrinking Violet-Brainiac 5's plan B-she removes the chip from the Temps' brain and jumps out of his head. Dream Girl and Brainiac 5 rejoice, without the chip the crewmen won't have The Joker's brainwaves anymore.
Before she can grow to normal size, Shrinking Violet is squished under the crewmen's foot. He picks up the little body and the crushed chip, "What a shame". He drops the body and mourns over the chip, "I kinda liked being crazy" the crewmen says, "I guess I'll just have to start all over". The Joker opens the door of the engine room. As he does, Brainiac 5 sends out a distress call while Dream Girl fights The Joker. She dodges The Joker's electrified swipes and Brainiac 5 rushes in. They knock The Joker to the ground, but he has one last trick. He activates a bug he planted on Lightning Lad's dead body. His corpse generates so much electricity it jump-starts the ship's engine and recharges Brainiac 5's time travel device. The satellite vanishes.
The year is 1987. A deep-sea research group begins pulling strange pieces of metal from the ocean and discovering an entire metal structure at the bottom. One diver swims through the structure, finding and collecting golden rings with "L"s on them. As he swims back up he does not see the corpses that reach for the rings. On the shore of a beach, a man walks out of the water and spots a kid with two ice cream sandwiches. He asks the boy for one of the sandwiches and the boy nicely complies. They sit and eat and the boy asks how long the man was in the water because his face is really pale and his lips are really red. "You look like a clown, mister" he says. "Yes, my boy. I suppose I do" The Joker laughs.
Thanks for reading.
The Legionaries in question include the three founders of the LoS: Cosmic Boy, Lightning Lad, and Saturn Girl, as well as Brainiac 5, Shrinking Violet, Sun Boy, Dream Girl, Timber Wolf, Karate Kid, and Invisible Kid. On the satellite they meet a small group of Temps who are still alive. Brainiac 5 digs through the video and audio logs of the satellite while Lightning Lad and Cosmic Boy do some looking around. They find the equipment room where they are ambushed by an unseen assailant. Lightning Lad is hit with a static field that slowly drains him of his electricity powers while Cosmic Boy is cut across the throat and bleeds to death. Brainiac 5 analyses who this murderer is on the files just as the killer introduces himself to Lightning Lad. The Joker is here.
Brainiac 5 explains to the Legionaries that "The Joker" was the primary enemy of Gotham's Batman in the 20th Century. Somehow, one of the Temps received a chip with The Joker's brainwaves in it. When questioning the other Temps, the heroes learn their manager-the only person on the satellite without a chip-is missing, not dead. Brainiac 5 also picks up the video of The Joker murdering Cosmic Boy and capturing Lightning Lad. Before they can act, the primary energy functions of the satellite are shut down and the backup generator activates. Saturn Girl and Brainiac 5 take charge: Brainiac 5 will stay in the operations room to watch the crewmen and try to repair the satellite's functions, Dream Girl will stay with him and use her future-seeing powers to keep him and the crewmen safe. Saturn Girl and the other Legionaries will search for the manager and The Joker.
The Joker ambushes Timber Wolf, Karate Kid, and Invisible Kid when they are split from the group. The Joker uses a toxic spray to send Timber Wolf into a flurry, he loses control and attacks Karate Kid. Invisible Kid goes invisible and tries to run away, but steps in blood as he runs. The blood comes from Karate Kid as he too is effected by the spray. Karate Kid fights until the spray and exhaustion causes Timber Wolf to die of heart failure. Just as Karate Kid runs at The Joker, the clown pulls out a pistol and fires at Karate Kid. "Gotta love the classics", The Joker sneers. Saturn Girl, Sun Boy, and Shrinking Violet find the manager and see he has the captive Lightning Lad. They arrest him and start returning to the operations room. Invisible Kid hides in a broom closet, not knowing he left a path of bloody footprints. We think it's The Joker walking towards the closet, but it's actually just his friends.
They regroup in the operations room where the manager refuses to speak. Saturn Girl reads his mind and discovers he's secretly a member of The Joker Cult, a group thought disbanded many years ago. The manager claims he stole a chip with The Joker's brainwaves on it from a psychiatric research center and brought it on-board. He replaced a Temp's chip with The Joker chip and offered to help The Joker in any way possible. As an engineer himself, the manager was able to create tools and weapons for The Joker and even send a distress call to Earth. Now The Joker will kill everyone on the satellite and steal the Legion's spacecraft. Brainiac 5 claims there isn't much more he can do for the ship's power until Lightning Lad can recharge. They consider waiting it out, but the operations room fills with toxic fumes. Saturn Girl tries to use her telepathy to keep the Legionaries from losing control, but the crewmen start going mad and one of them stabs the manager. Invisible Kid is also killed in the scuffle as the rest of the Legionaries run out of the room. The Joker stares at them from down the hall and Sun Boy runs at him. The Joker fires needles into Sun Boy until Sun Boy flies at him, pinning him to a wall. The Joker then releases an air lock sending them both into the vacuum of space. When the rest of the Legionaries look outside, Sun Boy is killed from the poisons The Joker stung him with and The Joker himself is nowhere to be seen.
They continue through the satellite and Dream Girl receives a premonition that The Joker will appear again soon. Lightning Lad realizes his Legion Ring (which provides oxygen in space) was stolen, likely by The Joker which is why he survived in space. Brainiac 5 notes the only entree onto the satellite would be the ship cargo where they flew in. They arrive in the engine room where-thanks to Lightning Lad's additional electricity-Brainiac 5 is able to lock down the cargo room for the time being, odds are The Joker still has the device the manager gave him to mess with the satellite. Lightning Lad begins charging energy into the ship. Dream Girl tries to have another vision, but witnesses her own death and falls unconscious. Angered and desperate, Saturn Girl uses her powers to enter The Joker's mind. She becomes still while doing this, but The Joker is freely moving towards the cargo door. Brainiac 5 takes out a portable time travel device he saves from an emergency. While in The Joker's head, Saturn Girl sees limitless origin stories, horrific memories, and incomprehensible thoughts. She finishes reading The Joker's mind and drops dead. At the same time, The Joker leaves the cargo room and hacks the LoS' ship to leave the satellite alone. There is no way out now.
Dream Girl wakes up to see Brainiac 5, Shrinking Violet, and Lightning Lad huddled over the body of Saturn Girl. Brainiac 5 caves in and decides to use the time travel device to pull Superman from the past to the present to help them. Even if it effects the timeline, nobody else must die today. The Joker's hacking device strikes again as instead of summoning adult Superman, the device summons teenaged Lex Luthor. Brainiac 5 knows how brilliant-and dangerous-Lex grows up to be. He thinks Luthor could be the counter to The Joker, but Luthor refuses to help as he doesn't fully understand what's going on. Lightning Lad lies to Luthor and tells him that in the future Lex will found The Legion of Super-Heroes, saying the "L" symbol was inspired by him. This plays to Luthor's ego. Brainiac 5 provides Luthor with a Motherbox computer containing information on 20th century psychology and agrees to give Lex an hour of study time. Meanwhile, Lightning Lad sneaks out to confront The Joker. This time Lightning Lad counters The Joker's electricity-draining device, but gets shot in the knee. Before Lightning Lad can pelt Joker with bolts, The Joker begins tossing Legion rings at Lightning Lad. One by one. With each ring flung The Joker names off another one of Lightning Lad's friends he killed. With no rings left, The Joker fires again at the boy's other knee. The Joker opens a tool box and takes out a crowbar.
Luthor is done studying and is ready to confront The Joker. They send him out into the hallway. Brainiac 5 continues repairs to the engine, hoping another SOS could be sent out, and Dream Girl watches the monitor with Lex on screen. "Even if this fails" Brainiac 5 says, "We have a plan B". Lex and The Joker talk, Lex attempting to psychoanalyze The Joker. Talk about his ego, his inner pain, his desire for attention. But The Joker simply smiles. The Joker remembers Lex Luthor, all the fun they had fighting Superman and Batman. He remembers how Lex kills Superman. Curious, Lex gets closer and allows The Joker to whisper in his ear. As he does this, The Joker grabs Lex's hand and sends watts of electricity from his joy buzzer into Lex. He holds it until Lex is a charred corpse. The Joker shreds a single tear, "Killing friends is always such a hassle". The Joker walks towards the engine room and stops just short of the door. Inside The Joker's head is Shrinking Violet-Brainiac 5's plan B-she removes the chip from the Temps' brain and jumps out of his head. Dream Girl and Brainiac 5 rejoice, without the chip the crewmen won't have The Joker's brainwaves anymore.
Before she can grow to normal size, Shrinking Violet is squished under the crewmen's foot. He picks up the little body and the crushed chip, "What a shame". He drops the body and mourns over the chip, "I kinda liked being crazy" the crewmen says, "I guess I'll just have to start all over". The Joker opens the door of the engine room. As he does, Brainiac 5 sends out a distress call while Dream Girl fights The Joker. She dodges The Joker's electrified swipes and Brainiac 5 rushes in. They knock The Joker to the ground, but he has one last trick. He activates a bug he planted on Lightning Lad's dead body. His corpse generates so much electricity it jump-starts the ship's engine and recharges Brainiac 5's time travel device. The satellite vanishes.
The year is 1987. A deep-sea research group begins pulling strange pieces of metal from the ocean and discovering an entire metal structure at the bottom. One diver swims through the structure, finding and collecting golden rings with "L"s on them. As he swims back up he does not see the corpses that reach for the rings. On the shore of a beach, a man walks out of the water and spots a kid with two ice cream sandwiches. He asks the boy for one of the sandwiches and the boy nicely complies. They sit and eat and the boy asks how long the man was in the water because his face is really pale and his lips are really red. "You look like a clown, mister" he says. "Yes, my boy. I suppose I do" The Joker laughs.
Thanks for reading.
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